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>Im not sure what the sibling things even means. I have a brother 5 years older than me so it's almost like from 2 different generations tbh
Looks like you have already experienced siblingship already with your brother. No matter how you experienced it you at least you experienced it. I grew up alone and to have a sibling has always been an interest of mine. At one point i even wished to have sisters. Which is literally impossible now. Just looking at other guys with sibling made me want to do that type of stuffs as well. At that time both me and my brother were small so we both couldn't do things independently, but now i am at an age where I can do things independently so I just hope maybe I can do things that interested me as a kid. Nothing extraordinary tho, just like a normal brother in a family member. I am of this generation as well so I know newer things more compared to my parents so ig help him with that kinda stuffs.

> I honestly loathe how unsocial he is. I dont loathe my brother for it but Im disgusted about how I cannot do anything about it even though it seems Im the only one who knows its importance.
Being anti social at this time is pretty normal btw. Playing in the street, going literally anywhere, making friends irl, doing outside stuffs ended with us. We cant hope to let our brothers experiences the same thing, but I think we pretty much understand this generation and this time. I as of now might not be able to do anything but when I can, I will try to do something for him. I dont need my parent's verification for something they dont know about and if I see it is important for his growth i should have as much right as my parents. Maybe not in the west, but in this country it is pretty normal for a big brother to act as a guardian.

>Im not sure if there has been any news of Nepali serial killer but lets be honest there has to be one. That we are not aware of.
There obviously are serial killers who just have multiple kills and are backed off by political status, but I doubt there are anyone who kills just out of pure madness. Even if there is one lets hope they dont get to us.


>Serial killers are absolutely shit human being but if Im being honest I love to watch documentaries about them. Their mentality of 'killing', their morals, and everything about them seems really fun to watch and think.
Yeah, man absolute shit humans. Like I talked about before my thought on life and death so ending another man's life is truly one of the most disgusting crime for me.
But also never get tired of watching things like this. Its also kinda scary that sometimes what triggers them is something very normal that can even happen around us.

>If that movie was made by some hollywood director then I think I wouldnt feel much about it coz I'd expect it to be atleast on that lvl.
Have you watched anything as of lately? I watched a few this week, Django unchained, sector 36, squid same s2. Two other Korean movies called, I saw the devil and emergency declaration. Have you watched parasite the Korean movie? If you haven't you should watch it. Also watch Memories of murder, could be the perfect gate way for Korean movies. I was always blinded by the internet about Korean media industry so didn't really expect much, but the movie industry is really great man. countless times better than Japanese live action/movie industry. We call Bollywood second after Hollywood but Bollywood is limited to only sub-continent and only cause of it's population its second. Korean movies has reached much more countries than Bollywood has.

> Its a good reminder that often the hardest part is just taking that first step.
Its like thinking something, where theres chance it might not even happen. Thinking non-existent Like thinking about what others think of you, and they are complete strangers we dont know them personally so how would we know how they think? We cant even read minds of people we have known for long. Its just pure bullshit, but also a serious condition. I mean there are people with no support and no fucking idea what to do in this situation and people just force them to get out of their comfort zone, which they cant obviously. Cuz if they knew how to do that they wouldn't have needed that so called support.

>ust think about it for once if you were a girl "would you date a person you are now?"
I dont know based on what women would want to date me , but if we are going based on personality I think am a good guy. I dont have much evil qualities, i mean I cant even think about evil qualities actually having some is very far from it. I am in no rush. I may be interested but even without experiences i can understand its complications. Tbh it sounds like a hassle to me. But from outer layer it does look good man. It could be a good thing but its good qualities is not something thats pulling me. Like i know iPhone 6 is a good phone and im interested in buying it but one thing other than the phone itself what's tempting me to buy it is people around me who actually own it and me as a oppo user might feel like I dont fit in. I also dont need to force my way into fit in with iPhone users, but its also not like the iPhone users are not welcoming me. This of course is not about iPhone. Its not that people around me make fun of me for not having a girlfriend, we rarely talk about girls, just an insecurity ig. May sound like im desperate but i really am not. I dont really share thinks like this much and when I do its a long frustration from a very long time so it may sound 2 jibre.

>Every small decision, every shift in perspective, is part of that journey toward greater authenticity. When you feel more ready, you’ll be in a better position to embrace who you truly are, without the weight of societal expectations hanging over you.
I used to be the kind of guy who payed attention to every person on the street idk why, probably out of insecurity, prolly cause i was scared or smtg. Like when i went to school I used to see people get into their house from the street and the next time when I saw that person somewhere else I used to remember their house and if they were with their kids I used to remember their school from their uniform. I went out yesterday and I noticed I stopped looking at people much to put it simply maybe I stopped caring about people more than I used to before. That could also mean I lost a talent. I mean remembering something from just one watch is a good quality to have. THis quality came out of fear and anxiety and If i no longer have that fear i lost one of my qualities. But also presenting yourself confidently in public is another nice quality to have which is really very much helpful.

>Shit is really tempting me to feel this way about you man.
Oh no. Please senpai no.

>You're always welcome man as long as you dont run away without paying ig.
Shit who tf leaked my plan.

>Indeed man. It was really fun times. I especially miss the 2020/2021 anime community of nepal.
I prolly found you on the comment section of anime Nepal arguing with people about anime. Also the 3x3 one, did you start that one? Cause i saw your 3x3 first.

>Idk man I think I personally expected me to see you everywhere except for MAL. Since Ive different pics, different names so no way you'd recognise
I can if you use your pic I would recognize, I have seen you more than you have seen me and like i said before about the quality to recognize people. As long as you are active i might find you. And also why I thought i would never see you is becase i asked Bibek once about you and he said "he is no where he uses nothing all i have is his number tell me if you need we can prank him". And i kindly denied him.

>And I also watch animal and insect fights. Especially insects.
Insect fights? whats that? Like in doraemon where beetles fight each other?

>Forcing doesnt work on poems I feel like. Poems for me is like writing down my emotions and feelings at the time I am experiencing it. And you cannot force an emotion. Maybe what poem to you might be different so there might be an opportunity to force yourself but I simply cannot.
Naah, I dont mean force in that way. I dont mean to force you mind into thinking something for no reason. Interest matters very much. I just meant force myself to write. Its something I have wanted to do for a while and I have done as well. I am interested and I have thought of a few as well. One thing what im not doing is writing and i mean i need to force myself to write it down or else what i thought of and imagined of would fade one day. Not only about poem man, I feel like if you are interested in something and are ready to dedicate your time to it and not doing anything just force yourself if its too late. You cannot keep searching for motivation everyday and blame it on motivation. Thats if you are truly interested. Procrastinating once or twice is fine but doing it every time is not good. I thought of this thing when I wanted to do workouts. I was interested in doing calisthenics but didn't do it by making any type of excuses I could found. I literally forced myself for a few days and it became a habit slowly.

Also man i watched first episode of one of this ongoing anime it was quite interesting. Its called Kurakon, I Got Married to the Girl I Hate Most in Class, sounds like something you will like. Try watching it if you have time someday. It is stupid but stupendously good ig.

I again beat the shit out of my brother yesterday and now we dont talk again. We were going pretty chill this time, I didn't think we would stop talking again. I literally dont want to do this. I dont get angry easily like no matter what it is but when I do I literally give it my all no matter who is it. I have argued and fought with adults as well. I was watching a movie laying in my bed and my brother came and asked me to make room for him as well. I was so hooked up with the movie and was in a comfortable position I didn't want to move so i said go to the next bed for and I even gave one of the blankets to my brother but he still denied and started pushing me violently. I would have tolerated if i was the only one getting affected, but the laptop fell from my lap and got closed also heard a crack sound thats what I couldn't tolerate and I had to beat him. I mean if you are always so close and in touch you will have to go through everything and every emotional situation, this one is inevitable as well. But i have experienced this already multiple times so I didn't want to again. But you cant control your anger ig.

>I dont think my praise will get him anywhere mentally since he doesn't see me as someone he looks up to but more like someone who is holding him back from getting praises.
Do you dont wish to do sibling things with your brother tho? I was brought up alone and had no older sibling or younger sibling presence when i was growing up so whenever i see people my age being brought up with a presence of elder sibling I feel like they get introduced to somethings earlier than I did. Since elder brothers get introduced to things outside more often and share their experience with their siblings. I grew with my parents only and I didn't enjoy my childhood with someone as close to a parent but still like a friend, I feel like I could do that with my brother. I am still kinda like his parent and if i decide to take him somewhere it would be my responsibility to take care of him but talking about this generation im also more understanding and chill compared to my parents so it would be a very new experience to him as well. Like lets say, most of the parents of my generation wouldn't dare to go to a fancy restaurant or a cafe and I never did when i was a kid with my parents but I am pretty chill now with my experiences with friends and I could use that on my brother to let him experience things I couldn't as a child. Not only fancy restaurants but many other spots that might help his social life man idk.


>The way he responds would depend on his psychological state, his upbringing, and his view of consequences. He's been raised in an environment where violence and killing were normalized, he might view his actions as routine, without emotional conflict or fear of the law.
Turns out it was based on a real life incident that happened in the early 2000s. As expected a lot of scenes were not based on real life and were added later on to make it cinema friendly cause Indian cinema without a masala is nothing really. It hasn't been too long since I realized that there are like real and proper serial killers in India as well. Like i had only seen documentaries and heard about serial killers from US and Japan but idk why hearing about Indian serial killers kinda scared me maybe cause they are too near to us. I dont think Nepal has a serial killer yet. Maybe there are who have killed multiple for business purpose. Dont think there are killers who kill just cause they enjoy. Lets hope that doesn't happen, cause there is no fear of anything when you go out except for the vehicle accidents.


>This really made him a standout character. If he was anything like what you expected, then I would really hate it. It wouldn't be anymore than your everyday crime thriller hindi movie.
Yeah, this was something that i had never seen before so of course I wouldn't expect him to spill all the beans. Also you said it became your favorite Indian movie so I was also sure that it wouldnt be something normal like I explained there cause if it was something like that you wouldn't have liked it. I was just unsure when the extraordinary thing would occur in the movie.

> The key is recognizing that these feelings dont define your worth, and just as youve learned to navigate other situations you can gradually ease into the more challenging ones.
When you are in your room just thinking about how certain situations are very scary and I wouldn't dare to do that outside, i wouldn't say its very easy but its kinda easy when you do it your self in real life. So it makes me think its all overthinking after all. You have all the time to think whatever you want inside your room alone but once you do it yourself outside your room it doesn't looks like a big deal. Most of the things you do outside is an equal trade both have equal contribution in that trade. Like I go to shop I pay and get some stuffs, its pure equal trade and no one is at fault so why to get scared lmao? If you are properly following the law and being moral. There's no way a khalasi or a shopkeeper can humiliate me or embarrass me if I pay them for the service i got. Thats usually what happens when I am out. If they do it even after that, thats for them to be embarrassed about.

There are like some stuffs viewed as a bigger accomplishments by the society which most of the people including me cannot accomplish, maybe we are not scared of not accomplishing those accomplishments but maybe we are scared of getting viewed as noobs who can never accomplish those accomplishments. One of them is girls. Dont remember the last time I talked with a girl my age and its also not that im not interested in having a female companion but im not that desperate. Since it is viewed as a huge accomplishment, i dont wanna talk about it cause it maybe embarrasses me and makes me feel inferior ig? I also know that it may be a huge accomplishment for others but it shouldn't be to me. But its also very hard to not follow the way of society. I can absolutely deny the norms of society as long as its not written in the law but as you know i am not in that stage yet where I can truly be myself.
It may not be an huge accomplishment to me like others but I still am slightly interested and despite my interest in it i am not being able to achieve it. This is not only about girls. Please dont view me as a virgin otaku weeb nerd lmao.


>Probably the only option. The only way to get over your fear is accepting and facing the fear itself. You cannot sit at your home all day thinking one day my social anxiety will go away itself then I'll go socialise. Doesnt work like that.
One more reason to visit your cafe. Tho i am not scared of you unless do something scary like pulling my pants in the public ig.

> Woke up at 3. Didnt know what to do lmao since I had 4 more hrs to go untill my job starts.
So what did you do? Reels?

But i kinda never expected you to see anywhere except MAL. I remember you used to deactivate your Facebook and used to come back once in a while and just like that you stopped coming permanently one day. The "US, BASED, KING" communication era was purely golden. Its reels to reels communication era now. I still haven't deleted chad parwa yet. I like to go back to check on the memes and statuses I made. its also very dull man, only new people most of the old guys have left Facebook. I only use my family account these days and mostly active on Instagram only.


>When you consciously try not to think about getting drunk or high while drinking, youre practicing mindfulness.
Hasn't there been an experiment where they give dudes plain water with something bittery but non-alcoholic mixed up and they start acting drunk? Thats also what made me think this is true.

>I think all startted since Corona. I was playing games all day, all night untill 2 in the morning at the very least.
That was the time I watched one piece and Naruto and I still somehow didn't fuck up my sleep schedule. Maybe cause I didn't play games? I did play pubg for about half of lockdown. Didnt had laptop that time so downloading all the anime caused storage issues and i uninstalled PUBG. Kinda glad that I had a shit phone during lockdown.

>So I just laid on my bed and watched yt vids untill I fell asleep.
Idk whats up with youtube videos, but when you dont have the energy to do anything you will always have the energy to watch youtube. Sometimes i am watching top 10 funniest monents in football and sometimes top 10 greatest catches in cricket history. What do you normally watch on youtube? I will watch whatever pops up in my home page unless I have a motive to watch something.

> So to answer your question no I wasnt forcing myself. It just happened to come alongside with my new lifestyle.
Thats good man, good to see you sleeping early. As a fellow early sleeper welcome to our realm.


Tbh writing really isn't my thing. I am more of an on the spot type of guy. Thinking and writing isn't my thing. I am more into jokes and humor that too on the spot. If I were like a celebrity i would have been cancelled a long time ago, I have that kind of humor. Thats also why I tried writing few poems. I wanted to think and write. Its also like one of those things I talked about before, being interested in but not being able to achieve it. I also dont understand poems when I read and I was like how could I write one when I dont understand how and why to write. But yeah after reading your and few other poems from others and also researching about poems I found out poems is not only about rhyming and using fancy words. Poem dont even have to be like poem you can just write it like an essay. I try to think about what to write but all I can think of is depressing stuffs like life, death and loneliness which I dont want to write. I want to shit on the paper but i want to shit on a lively and a fun topic.

Also motivation alone isn't enough, If i have been wanting to do something for a long time and im interested in it i just need to force myself at this point. I cant wait for motivation to kick me all the time. Sometimes once you force yourself motivation comes on along. Sometimes it indeed is too late to start.

>So coz of my past my brother gets compared to me a lot. Thats fking stupid shit to do to a kid coz my brother might start hating me coz everything he does, he doesnt get enough credit coz I did that but a lot better 8/10 years ago.
I mean yeah, even when parents compare you with someone else you start kinda getting pissed off with both the parents and the one with whom you are getting compared to. I can understand this. But it still is my brother. Me personally i wouldn't hate him but i cant speak about him. Looks like our brothers are the same age but my brother is still very childish, he doesn't now shit about emotions. He isn't emotional matured yet to think those stuffs deeply like that so i doubt he would think much about it. I still se him as a 6 y/o, even when he occasionally does deep talk i wouldn't see it deeply. But yeah things are different for everyone.
Yeah, i may not be able to fully understand your case but i can see what you mean. But again wouldn't you not talking to him make things worse? Since everything you guys have been through isn't direct and is mostly based on assumptions?

>And I honestly see it in my brothers eye. He doesnt idoilize me he borderline hates me. But I can see where he is coming from.
This situation is completely foreign to me. Whatever I say here would be from my POV and my experiences so obviously you situation might not make sense to me. I dont think my brother fully likes me either but the reason may be different from yours. Like i have beaten him countless times and we didn't talk for months and that could be why he hates me. Even after all that we are pretty normal. So the not talking thing still doesn't convinces me cause thats not how i have experienced siblingship.
We all have different life and both of our brother's and you and me are completely different people so yeah of course we have different way of handling similar situations.

>Its way too unique for what it does and how it does. The serial killer guy literally terrifies me. Like how simple he looks from outside while being as twisted as a human can get.
The main guy was kinda complex tho. Why do you think he was like that during the interrogation? Was it because he was confident that his master would bail him or he thinks killing is not a big deal cause he's been doing it since he was a kid and it has become an everyday thing to him? I personally wasn't expecting the interrogation scene to be like that, cause it happened at around 1 hr mark and there was still time for the story to build up so I just expected it to be a scene where he would lie and police would just start searching for more proofs but who knew it would turn out to be one of the most unique scene I would ever witness. That too in an Indian cinema.

>hat's a very particular type of thing though. Embarrassment is natural but what things you are embarrassed about? Shits like farting, tripping over is pretty obvious thing to be embarrassed by but what does tripping over and farting does to you ?
Just like farting and tripping over there are other abnormal things that my mind has set as an "embarrassment", which stops me from doing those things in front people and has made me insecure. But i have also improved a lot. Its actually pretty okay when you dont give a fuck about what people think. When I am backing off from things i dont want to do cause i think it will embarrass me, i just think about normal things that i can do without thinking about what others think. Like walking, its a pretty normal act and theres no shame in it. I think I can do almost all of the compulsory things without thinking about what others think. Like when I am out for shopping its compulsory to talk with the shopkeeper and that thing doesn't scares me. Its also compulsory to talk with the khalasi in the bus and that thing also isn't scary. But there still are few things or situations where I wouldn't prioritize my opinion. I just need to go out more ig. I need to experience society and take risks. I am still very far from what you did with the girls while asking the way, but I hope i reach that stage someday.

>Its okay to be embarrassed about things as long as it doesnt affect things you love to do.
Yeah, i mean even if you dont love it to death why should it even matter to you. If it isn't worth grieving over its even better lmao.


>Looks like the process doesnt matter if the ending result is a masterpiece.
The taste of an boiled egg isn't even 3/10. Nutrients wise its of course 2nd from whats commonly available after chicken. I wouldn't waste 8-10 mins of nothing to taste that .

>The hardest part though is peeling it lol. Sometimews I just make it ttwo piece and eat with a spoon.
you can sprinkle salt or kagati ko bokra in the water together with it. Makes peeling easier.

>They will definitely beat me up but I dont think it matters. Imagine smoker beating anotherr smoke coz they found them smoking. Pretty funny.
My mom would absolutely kill me, but my dad wouldn't care. My dad has offered me to drink together, but my mom is strictly against it.

>Its flexible though. Ill be here if you wanna visit.
I am not free until Wednesday, i wont even be at my house. After that until Saturday im pretty free. I will message you on Instagram when I decide to come.

>I really wish I wasnt addicted loo. Jk. I love tthem.
Sometimes you hate it, sometimes you love it. I woke up at 6 today but watched reels till 10 and I got up. Sometimes all I wanna do is watch reels cause theres too much relatable stuffs, when its depressing relatable stuffs i wanna throw my phone, but if its funny and entertaining relatable stuffs i would watch it for hours.

>I was a drinking prodigy though. I used to drink like tttherre is no tomorrow and still not gett drunk.
I have rarely been heavily drunk and I probably haven't even drank 10% of what you have drank but I also have pretty strong tolerance. One of my teachers used to say getting high is also a mind game. You get high if you keep thinking about getting high or drunk. Which obviously isn't true, could be slightly true. But I do think like that when Im drinking. Like dont think of getting drunk or high at all.

>Not this but Ive once made a tea with weed.
Have tried this as well, but the guys made it salty. My friends are true prodigy lmao, they used to bite gaja ko geda in the classroom. Even in that environment i never got addicted to smoking. I feel proud sometimes.

>Ya I used to sleep at 2/3. I always thought that when I sleep doesnt matter as long as I sleep 8/9 hrs. I was wrong. We grow to see better days it seems.
For how long did you sleep at 2/3? How does it feel on a regular basis? Why is it that you guys cant sleep on time? Even if I challenge myself and try max i can stay awake for is 12. And no matter when I sleep i wakeup at the same time which is between 6-7. So even if I sleep at 9 i wake up between 6-7, and even if I sleep at 3 i wake up between 6-7 or maybe 8 which is still not enough, maybe thats why i instinctively sleep on time or even before time.


>I dont think I can ever go back to sleeping at 2/3 am. The energy I have these days is crazy.
How did you get yourself into sleeping early. Did you force yourself or you started getting tired more because of your new lifestyle?

>Id love to see you write. You look like someone who can write. Just need motivation I guess.
I feel like there are many things I can do, but I lack the patience. I have 0 patience. I would probably stop writing poem if it doesn't start making sense or I dont find a proper word. So im thinking maybe i shouldn't think about making sense first. I should just write what I imagine and I would have enough time to tally it, and even if I dont i would have a full poem ready solely based on my imagination.

>You don't know how many times Ive tried to convince my family to understand that school knowledge alone doesnt take him anywhere.
That's literally every parents.

>So from that time on I started to not care about what my brother does coz no matter how hard I try to makke him do things that will make him creative and something that will help his social as well as his physical health, my family won't allow.
My parent's won't allow that either. As much as I want my brother to be creative, i dont yet have the ability to help him join extra classes myself, what i could do was convince my parents which I tried. I dont think he wants to join any extra classes as well. Being a computer or a internet nerd makes anyone pretty smart these days. Thats also literally every kids in this generation. My brother's aight in studies but does good on general knowledge he is in the school quiz team as well. We also pretty much live day to day life in a game format. When i am eating something and he asks for it i say yesko answer milais sabai dinxu. He does the same as well. I tried convincing my parents but they didn't understood, and now I do what i am able to do. I dont understand why you dont talk, when you are not at fault. Its also not like your brother asked for it and you failed.Looks like both of them are being punished despite not being at fault.

>Ofc I know. Kamalpokhari and baneshowr are the only two places I go if I have to watch a movie.
I watched sector 36 today. It was a weird movie tbh. I wasn't expecting the interrogation part to be so epic. I literally didn't move an inch and didn't take my eyes off the screen during that scene. That scene carried ngl. Not talking about the main ending, but the ending part like the last 20 mins would have been boring if it hadn't been paced well. Overall it was a good experience, mixture of something thats too weird and rare for Indian cinema and something thats very common and not so new.

>But what you can do is wanting validation from people who fking matters. People who have no business being in your life then those people's feelings about you shouldn't matter to you.
Being naked in front of anyone is a natural fear in everybody. Farting in front of someone you dont regularly link up with, or falling, tripping for somebody. We are embarrassed to perform these acts, cause we are consciously aware about it. We are consciously aware thet "if i fall right now here everybody would laugh at mee and that would embarrass me. Somethings are set in mind as embarrassment. And i am not scared about what people think about me, i am embarrassed about what people think about me. Because there are somethings set in my mind as embarrassment. Like falling or tripping, being the center of attraction and im consciously very much aware about it which as long as i am is very much difficult to control. So what I think is maybe its okay to be embarrassed in front of people, but I should be able to forget it like everyone else who laughed at me. I shouldn't waste my time over people that dont matter laughing at me just cause I fell or couldn't speak. People may laugh at may they may embarrass me they may enjoy my situation but for how long? And most people dont even do that face to face they do it behind my back. But theres also a chance that might not happen and im just here worried about thinking something that might not happen.

>There are lot of ways. You can call, mail or just visit them in person. Tell them about whatt you wanna do and they will give you options like do you only wanna do this mediation or complete package which is around 30 days. And you choose what youu want and boom you are in.
What did you do to get in?

>I prefer half boiled though. Poach feels good to eat but I'm a "boiled eggs" kinda guy.
Half boiled is good but the process is kinda boring. Like when im cooking poach im actually active i move my hand to make sure the egg doesn't sticks in the pan. Also gets done quickly. For boiled or half boiled you just sit there doing nothing for 8-10 mins.

>>I think your body itself asked for u to stop smoking. Thats nice.
Yeah and also i wasn't much of a smoker anyway. Just used to do it for the company. I feel good quitting it.

>My body also used to get fked after smoking but overtime my body adapted to it. Im definitely not proud of it. But welp cannot do anything.
Are you addicted? Can you like go a day without smoking? I started when i was in class 7 which was like 7 8 years ago and i was only kinda addicted till like the Dashain of class 10. At Dashain i had to leave my smoking friends and had to go to different places for festival literally no chance for me to smoke. After that i was in hostel so it was really very impossible. Good natural rehab for me.

In all these years i have never been caught by my parents as well. I have also only heavily been drunk 4 or 5 times and I obviously didn't go home in that condition. I do want to reveal it to them but not yet lmao. They dont even know that I eat buff and have eaten pork. Have your parents learned about you smoking or drinking?

> And honestly im fine with my height now. The most I wanna get is 6'2 and Im done.
Do you think you will tho? It might very well still be possible but its very rare.

I am 5'7 and 5'8 on a good day. I feel like 5'10 would have been good which I am still optimistic about. I am as tall as my dad and I think the genetics would still support me for more cause its natural to be taller than your dad. Maybe diet is the issue cause genetics is important but it also isn't the sole factor.

>If youe free to someday yyou can viisit since your hhome is pretty close it swems.
Yeah, sure man. I would love to drop by someday. Does it open on Saturdays?

>No no I love these posts. Its weirdly funny and also wholesome at the same time but I wish I also got some dark stuff.
I too dont hate Instagram reels myself. But i fear i might get addicted.

>The weed youu use in bong is supposed to be smoked at once which I literally cannot coz I cannot hold my breathe for long enough.
I cant do all in one go as well. Not always. Breathing is not the problem for me but doing all at once isn't my thing. Only people who do it daily can do it. I am not a gajedi prodigy.

I remembered this funny incident lmao. One of my friends cooked weed like a tarkari. We planned to cook it because it was really too much more than a half bora. He got stoned and slept and left the kitchen as it is. His mother came from office went into the kitchen, tired from the work all day she was happy to see her son doing the cooking. She cooked the rice heated up the weed tarkari and literally ate rice with it. Turned out she realized it half way through. Since he was a lafanga always and the parents were sojho he was safe.

>Ive also smoked weed with rum and before and it hits different for sure but I wouldn't waste a rum for weed.
Dk about your friends but my friends wouldn't leave a single drop of alcohol. Lmao even if it was bong water they drank it.

>Sometimes I ffall asleep before 9 and its really changed my mood.
Thats good man. I have never went past 10 consecutively . I always sleep before 10. I am very rarely awake after 10. Not even during lockdown. Not even during anime watching phase. Sleeping is something i never had trouble with until just recently like i said with cigarettes. I can still sleep anywhere and at anytime if its sleep hour. Back then when i used to get up at midnight or anytime during the sleep hour and decided to check phone I would see you lmao. Bibek as well. Whenever i woke up at 6 or 7 and checked phone your shared posts would be "2 hours ago" "4 hours ago" "3 hours ago". Not only you man, many of other online friends used to be active till 4 in the morning. I can never do that even in the worst of the worst condition i would all asleep.


> Also I postted new poem of mine just today.
Yeah I read that one. I am really liking the free verse style. It doesn't feel like poem when you are reading. I was Imagining each and every line while reading. I am liking this not limited style, makes me want to write as well. I might write something just to try this style first probably.

Also Happy New Year man.

>I have not beaten kids as long as I remember but ive played wrestling matches with my brother.
You have never beaten your brother as well? At one time my brother and I didnt talk for months cause i beat him to death lmao. My t shirt got torn, it was a huge fight lmao.

>I have a 13 yrs old brother and I really dont talk with him much.
Why man?

My brother is 13 as well but I act like im smaller than 13 when i am with him. We are pretty close. My brother is weird, he doesnt calls me anything no dada, no dai, no timi or tapai. But we are close lmao. I sleep together with him these days, since its cold. But im still shy to talk about things like sex ad all with him. I dont think he yet knows things like that. He is sojho. Since I learned all those things from friends I hope he does that too. Except im pretty chill with everything.

>Thats surprising news to me lol. Never thought you'd be one of those people lol.
Lmao, I forgot i also danced in public cause back then yk the cartoon crewz used to pick one best dance crew who cover danced in their song and they rewarded them and one of the cartoonz crew fan friend decided to cover dance. Do you know kamal pokhari near city center? I danced there with girls lmao. Pretty cringe thinking about it now. We danced and completed the cover but the editing process with music was to complicating so we left it. I still dont find dancing embarassing in marriage and college programs. I cant resist when there is panche baja going on.

Did you never wanted to upload videos on youtube?

>But looks like you were pretty outgoing type before so it wont be hard for you to go back to your past self now.
Lets hope so. Ig you start caring too much about what others think when you grow and thats what I need to stop doing.

>I stayed there for 9 days. Never experienced anything like that
How did you apply for it? Is it like anyone can go there for a specific amount of time?

When I was there I just saw people doing yoga and I heard people shouting like they were practicing karate and taekwando. so i just thought that. Now it makes why they were shouting.

>Im not sure if there are anymore of these places.
Thats the only one I have seen. That place is my way to mamaghar to nuwakot. While i was going to my mamaghar with mama once he dropped by there to meet someone and thats when I got to go inside it.

> I prefer runny yolk but I need the whites to be cooked. I dont really care about the yolk being cooked though.
The quickest one is poach. Half boil takes a lot of time as well. Poach feels perfect. The whites are cooked and the yolk is still raw but it is kinda cooked as well. I would choose poach over any egg ietms taste wise. No taste is perfect taste for poach.

>If its my normal day like waking up, job, come back home and sleep then Ill say I smoke like 7/8. But if its my leave day then Ill say its prolly around 12/15.
I only did about two. Max i did was 16 or 19 and that night was hell. I slept at 4 am that day. Then I didnt smoke for about 14 days. After that whenever I smoked it made my night hell. This was around 2022 world cup which was in november. I smoked till april of 2023 even after all that. I had to go to hospital even. They said its all gastric. Maybe it was cause of drinking milk tea and smoking early in the morning in empty stomach. April is around chaitra. There was welcome program in our college in chaitra 25 that day was when I last smoked. Chaitra 25 could be May not April.

Last time I smoked weed was 2080 falgun during college tour. Its about to be 1 year almost.

>20's is definitely the best age to do this ngl. For height I dont think its much you can do.
Yeah it is genetics, but even if its genetics it all has to happen during teenage. Height wont increase during 20s. But i have heard it may also increase upto 26 or 27 but it is really very rare.

>I work at chakrapath. opposite of US embassy to be exact.
Lmao, thats where I was stuck on jam on Sunday at about 4 pm. I noticed a cafe where there was water flowing in the glass opposite to US embassy. Do you know that one? Or it could be the one as well? IDK.
Yeah but thats very near, not even 15 minutes to chabahil if the bus doesnt keep stopping.

>I dont know what happened to my algorithm but all insta shows me are some random reels related to relationship and flirting.
I mean if you keep liking and engaging with that type of posts ofcourse similar type of post will keep coming. You can click on not interested by clicking three dots if you are really getting annoyed by it.

>I hate bong tbh. Idk why. I like rez. I too dont really smoke weed in cigarette coz its not enough. So I go forr rez.
I dont know how to explain this or if this even makes sense but I really hate how sharp the smokes are in cigarette and rejs. Its really small the filter and the hole from which the smokes travel into the mouth and i hate that shape. Lmao. The bong's hole is too big i feel like i can control the flow of smoke and the smoke wouldnt just travel in one straight line. I dont know if this makes sense or I thought of this nonsense when i was stoned. But this is what i think ever since i realized this. Dk if it makes sense.

>For taste Rum is the best especially in winter with little honey.
I dont remember what alcohol it was but one of my weed hunter friend made hole in the glass bottle and made a bong out of it. Instead of water it was a hot boiled alcohol and we had weed with it. I like to think it was old monk but im not sure. If you havent you need to try this. But its really hard to make a hole in the glass bottle. My friend made it once and he takes the same botle everywhere. That was one of the best and unique experiences i had.

Squid game is good, it does what its supposed to do, the acting is great as well. The season 1 was good. I mean you would comprimise with whatever happened there even if it deosnt make sense. But this could be a spoiler dont read it if you care really care about it. But it doesnt make sense for him to go back there if you know the character. They could have ended it within season 1 but they didnt so it does make sense why theres a season 2 and season 2 is required as well because thats how season 1 ended. But i feel like they could have ended season 1 in a way where it didnt required a new season. I watched season 1 literally when it came in 2021. But i dont think this show is something that required a lot of thinking. Many said season 2 felt like them milking the story for more money but it didnt feel like that for me. Though i can understand why they feel that way.


LMAO XD I was literally about to punch my screen and kill my self just now. I pressed send and it diddnt show the animation of loading to post and it didnt post but i saw from another tab and it was there lmaoooo.

>ince I used to be one of those kid. I cannot complain.
I mean yeah i can understand that. But what angers me angers me. What annoys me annoys me. I cant do anything about that. It might amaze you to hear this after all this, but kids do like me. I like them as well. I dont talk much in cute voice like "ale ale kuchi kuchi mero babu" but i smile a lot and most of the kids dont hate me if I be my true self. Its just some kid's behavior that annoys me which I really cant stand and it just fels good to tease kids. I have a small brother myself so ig i know how to handle kids. But cmon dont tell me you havent beaten a kids and made them cry yet. You just need to do that sometimes.

> Though what work do you think you can do without any prior knowledge? I think there are not much.
Yeah, but ig i have a better computer knowledge than average people? Cuz what im studying requires better knowledge of computers which is ofcourse more than what average people learn. So anything that includes computer is doable.

> I recently started to ask women that I think are younger than me the direction for random place (which I know) and when they help me, I tell them "Thank you didi".
When I was like 13 or 14 me and one of my friend used to "namaste aunty and namaste uncle", random people in the street and they would ask ko ho babu, chinena ni. We used to say we are (random name's) friends and just walked off. I was very much social before corona. We wanted to upload videos in youtubes and i also shamelessly acted in the middle of nowhere where tehre were a lot of people. But those videos never made its way to youtube. One made it to youtube but its no more. I still lacked formality at that time, like saying namaste, k chha, khana khanu bhayo but i was confident when it mattered.

>Looks like you gotta start doing what Im doing recently lmao.
I probably cant do that, but if there are only young girls everywhere and i am truly lost i can atleast ask for the way. Like I said i can handle one to one its not that hard. Also I wouldnt like to mess with women like that in this era.

>I just loved the atmosphere there was. Absolutely amazing people all around.
I have heard weird things about tapoban from the osho nerd in my school. He used to say things like, people their sleep for 2 days straight, they laugh and cry all day. You said it as well so maybe it was true afterall. He also said like people their have sex with each other just everyone in same place like in yoga hall, which even we didnt believe at that time. Is it the one in the place called mudkhu you went to? Or is it anywhere else also?

>The work place is chill.
My internship was pretty chill as well, it was online. We needed to be on google meet all day. No face required. Only voice and name required. The boss dude never truly got angry with me as well. He got angry with other people but he was weird man. He used to get angry and laugh at the same time.
Like "Hyaaa k garya esto bhayena, maile bhanya jasari garum na, hahahaha" type. The other interns were helpful and since there was no actual physical contact with each other they were also kinda kam chor. I was also. Even if they get scolded or get called they can just stay mute or leave the meeting. It was pretty chill.

>Its pretty disgusting to eat it by itself but tomato makes everything better imo.
I have and i puked very hard. One of the worst days of my life. Raw egg as well. The only place tomato has respect from me is momo ko achar.

> And smoking hasnt become a threat to my any relationship and Ive enough money to smoke". So why should I stop. And I just continued lmao.
How many do you do in a day?

>It should've happend whan I am like 22/23 and it definitely matters more.
Yeah but isnt it better if it happens during teenage with all hormone and testosterone thing. I think this cause it would have increased my height even more at that time. i am way past that age now. Also everything else including height.

> Chabahhil? Thats really closee from where I work.
where is it that you work?

>I dont even remember what the fk I post in Instagram while I was high lol.
You really do post a lot tho. You must be really loving the instagram meme format.

>Ive been suffering from sore throat and and intense cough for like a week now and chain smoking has made me feel better. Your tonsil will go away if you smoke one stick. Trust.
I smoked shikhar ice once when i had sore throat and it really made it worse. After that I never bursted the mint in shikhar ice and slowly stopped smoking shikhar ice. I had switched to surya light before stopping.

I also just recently found out that I have never actually had weed in cigarette. All I have ever done weed is in bong. Looking at my history it really shocked myself.
And also i have never had any can beers. I may have this one, but it was shared so not an entire can for myself.

have you watched squid game?

>I mean i do hate kids that are like 6/7yrs old. They be real noisy for no reason.
After kids become a little understanding, they get more annoying. Lmao I beat the shit out of a not so close relative's son cause he showed me his middle finger and said fuck you he was like 9 and studies in 3. I dont really mind things like that but i still beat him hoping he wont do that infront of others. What I really hate about kids is their audacity to own literally anything cool they see. And all they do is whine about it to their parents. I dont mind not having toys, i dont even play with toys, I wont mind if it gets lost but still i wouldn't give it to a kid just cause they cried about it to their mom. I guess girls are little calmer in things like this.


>So whatt do you wanna do? Not pursue coding anyymore?
Naah lmao, i study coding i cant stop it. I mean i will pursue it but its not an easy field. Not many will give me job just cause I did internship for 6 months. And its very hard to find those few who give. Also im still learning. Just finished a college project work about a week ago where we had to create a functioning website. And we created a vehicle renting site. I mean i am too desperate to get out of my house so i might do anything.


>Though I might bully you if I ever see you. regarding your fear.
But I won't be shocked in that scenario, i wont feel scared about it immediately. It just scares and shocks me when I am alone. In real life scenario even if you bully me there would be many more topics to talk about and I wouldn't really have the time to think about it. That wouldn't work if i am not alone.

> You dont learn communication skill then start socialising like tthat doesnt happen. Bare tthrough it man honestly. It might ffeel awkward for one time maybe 3 times. But yll adapt.
I have enough communication skills, Like if im lost then I can ask the way to stranger, in shops i can order what i want, i can travel in bus. But you saw my story about panipuri, thats really very relatable. I wont be able to get into panipuri shop if there are girls lmao fr. I can speak one to one but in groups i really cant. Its just hard to start for me. If they start first i can do it. But i cant start shit. Its mostly girls only that I cant talk with.

>But this Osho gguy us crazy lol.
He is pretty cool tho yeah. I have seen a few of his videos as well he just says fuck and shit. He also said a man without a beard is just like woman with beard.
There was this guy in school who was crazy about osho he used to talk about him everyday too. I have been to osho tapoban once. But i was like 12 13 and I just followed my mama. People were just doing yoga there at that time.

>Like who tf reads when you can watch videos, listen the audio book.
I will give reading a last chance, cause I can pretty comfortably do mangas so maybe i thought i still might have a knack for reading but if I dont i am thinking of listening to audiobooks as well.

>I think Nepali people are pretty chill.
How's your workplace is it chill as well? I am like kinda worried about something. Like what if they just pressure you with work and scold or get angry when you mess up just cause you re a newbie. I hope Nepali people are really chill like they are known for. Or maybe im just thinking too much.

>I especially love this drink called "Afogato" which is basically icecream with espresso.
I really am very unfamiliar with coffee terms, cause I immediately stopped drinking it after reaching coffee drinking age. The only one I have tasted is cappuccino. I love coffee I dont hate is but milk is not good for my stomach so I avoid it. Just hot water with lemon is enough for me.

>Bro. I cant imagine eating any tarkari that doesnt have tomato.
In tarkari its fine, even if I chew it it wont have any taste cause you mix it with everything and its not those big raw juicy chunks in a cooked vegetable. I cant stand raw tomato which is in like chatpate, chowmin and noodles. Hating tomato is hating momo lmao.

>My frnds used to smoke but I stayed away from it but idk maybe one day I just wantted to give it a try and once I knew about how it feels maybe I tried to go for anotherr one day wheree I fight with my ex.
The first time I tried was when I was in class 7. One of the friend was already very experienced and he just taught us. The other friend said "chakhum chakhum black churot guliyo hunxa khasai asar gardaina re". That was enough to convince us lmao. After that I did it regularly for 3 years from grade 10 to 12 and after the end of first semester in bachelors I stopped it. I became a social smoker during the beginning of bachelor like I only smoked when I met with my friends and after 1st semester we had a long break until next semester and didn't meet with any smoker friends for about a month and i decided not to break one month long streak and also the chest issue from gastric was crazy. So i quit.

>i should be likke 70/80 kg. Andd Im 30 off of tthat.
Have you always been like this? Not gaining muscles and weights? My mom says I was fat and healthy till 5 and Declined after that. Thats really unnecessary lmao, why would a 5 y/o need muscles and weight. It should have happened when i was like 15, 16 and maybe it would have mattered more.

>If you wanna smoke then lets meet and smoke together. Where do you live.?
Let me just reply tho this for now.

I live in Chabahil. I have exam today i need to be out at 11 and i dont think i will return soon. Also im kinda sick i have minor tonsil and I dont know what would happen If i smoke in that condition. I would like to meet you tho just not today. We can hook up next time.

>Though I feel like I will be able to relate to lot of things that my kids go through though. But idk maybe things will change even more by then.
Maybe the problem of our kids would be losing bitcoins and demanding tesla robots. it could be way harder for us as a parent. I hope i dont find a wife who spoils kids. I to this day dont like kids and i hate letting things go according to them, so i think i will not be a spoiling parent. But I can change, thats far in future and a lot is yet to happen.

>I dont mean the person who commit it but the concept of 'suicide' itself.
It is funny indeed. Its sad when people die but cmon what do they think while taking their own life? Like they would get a second chance? They get to restart all of this?

>I cant do a pull up even if my life depends on it.
I started since August, it has been like 5 months. The highest i have done till now is 12. I can to 10 for 2 sets and than 8, 6, 5. I do about 50 to 60 daily. I dont really have muscles, i think its just my bones pulling myself.

>Its better if its something that interest in.
I mean yeah it is better. But programming is not an easy job. I dont think i will get that job easily. Even if I get it my laptop is too shit to handle heavy loads. I might earn a lil bit and buy a laptop and maybe think of it. I already did internship once and it was not easy. I dont want to experience that again.

>I think the thinking of oh "I should be working" came immediately when I was like 16.
I thought about this when i passed 12 but i wasn't too sure about that feeling. Both of my parents worked at that time and like it was enough. But i realized its not only about money just recently. I mean if i am working my ass off i deserve that money ofcourse, but thats not the only think a job can offer. But damn 16 is too early lmao. Werent you till in school?

>I dont really even remember what I used to feel about this. As long as I remember I was optimistic about this.
My grandmother died when i was like 13 i was in 8th grade. That was the first death experience i had of someone close. Not close emotionally tho we just lived in a same house. We have a complicated family relationship, maybe thats why I wasn't sad. It was cool until one day when I randomly thought about death when i was in 10th grade. I dont know what my initial thought was but I somehow got into thinking about death and "how everything will end one day even universe. But what will there remain if there is no universe? There will remain nothing, what is nothing?" It somehow lead to thinking about nothingness. I didn't sleep on time for about a week because this thought never left my mind when it was night. Thats when I started fearing death. But it was during school, it was fun and that thought eventually left my mind. I did think about it once in a while but not on a regular basis until recently. During 2080 falgun one of my neighbours who was also our cook in school canteen not even older than 35 died suddenly, no one would have thought that. That again gave me another depression. Again at around Bhadra of this year my dad's uncle died. We had a complicated family but he was aight, he was cool he was a nice guy and he died at around 65. That again led me to another depression. To this day i still get shocked thinking about death and me not existing one day. But I think after having this conversation about death with you i think i have slightly stopped caring about it. I dont think about it much. I still find it scary whenever i think about it but I think I have learned how to not think about it whenever i try to think about it.
Whenever I think about it I get less shocked these days. I would say I have learned to shift my mind whenever I try to think about it. I dont think I have ever shared this to anyone except you. Maybe all I had to do was share once? Man idk.

>I dont suggest watching yt videos for these things but you should check out Dr Alok's Healthy GamerGG youtube channel.
Sure. I will.

>Being introverted is completely fine since youre just valuing your personal space and prefer solitude. Thats completely okay. Ultimately, it’s about accepting yourself and recognizing that there is no one-size-fits-all in how we connect with the world.
I am fine with being introverted, but being introverted leads to more other things like lack of communication skills, no socialization, socially awkward which is what I dont like about myself. Being introverted is restricting me from being socially forward. But these things all come together with introvert. I mean how can I be introvert and still have all those qualities. I am not that awkward in public when i am atleast with my small brother. When im all alone its really awkward thats what I need to work on. I know I am changing. I met a lot of internet friends and I think i was not much awkward. The other guys were pretty awkward compared to me. But sometimes it sucks to see how limited things are for me outside when am all alone and I cant do it because i am a pussy. That is what disgusts me about myself.

>In literally the first 3 pages he says
He must have really loved sex.

The poem sounds funny ngl. but still good.

>I will literally suggest this book to anyone. Regardless if you are gay, straight, in love,, single, married. anyone.
Reading books is not really my thing. but I am trying to get into it. One of the friends i made while doing workout has also suggested me to read a book. he said he will give it to me after he finishes it. I am thinking of giving it a try. If I like reading maybe i will explore more.

>I wasnt the type of kid to show off stuffs and also not someone who gets jealous over anything.
Same, prolly cause there were no kids around me when I was a kid. I realized this feeling of jealousness very late.

>This is honestly my favorite thing about this country,
It is indeed a bad thing but I also like how less privacy we have if you are a good neighbors. Like no one will knock before entering someone else's room. There still are shared toilets and shared water sources. If you take a bath whole community can see it. Just roof to roof and balcony to balcony communication. You can leave you key to your neighbors if you are going out. This country is fun ngl. Villages are more fun tho. Only if it was a little bit more better place for everything, many will not leave this country. I have seen vlogs of foreigners comparing Nepal with India and most of them really say Nepal is better. I dont think its a lie because a person wont disappoint their main source of views(which is India ofcourse) for nothing.

>I personally cannot digest sugar much. I love to eat sugary stufss like who the fk doesnt like candy but my stomach wont allow me to eat it.
I dont like sugary stuffs. Between salty and sugary i would choose salty, heavily consuming both is unhealthy anyway. It really pains me internally to see people drinking rasbari and lalmon water. I can do little sugar but even if I can i dont want to heavily consume sugary stuffs.
I dont mind bitter stuffs when I have to consume it, but I dont take it on a regular basis. I also am very far from milk tea and coffee stuffs. I only drink lemon tea and if I really want to drink coffee i just drink black coffee. In that case my parents are very lucky, I eat whatever is given, but I cant stand tomato, iskus mula ko tarkar, bhyanta also but depends on the way its cooked. Besides these I will literally eat anything thats given to me.

>I started smoking around the time I stopped drinking
Why did you start smoking? I did stop but I would go for weed once in a while like very rarely. Like once every 6 months.

> Gastric is one of the wrst thing man. I once suffered from it. Never again.
What did it do to you? For me it really burns my chest. It started around 1.5 years ago and hasn't gradually decreased. It would have been better if it only hurt stomach but i cant deal with this chest stuff. Its not even burning like it just pokes my chest from inside and makes me uncomfortable. And yeah its really shit. Literally changed my view on gastric, i just thought it meant bad stomach and continuous farts and burps. But it also fucks with your muscles, mostly back and head.

>Its just that my weight is way too low and my height is 6 ft.
damn, i am like 5'7, Whats your weight tho? I maybe 57 or 58.

> If you know you shouldn't get mad over things that is so trivial but still you get mad over those things then there is something definitely wrong.
Not all problems are same of course, but if you face problems on a regular basis I think you should have a better idea to deal with it. If you are already experienced and you know you should get over this there could be ways you are familiar with. But ig this doesn't work well like its said in practical life. Its emotions after all its really not easy to control.

>For me even if my parents dont truly understand how I feel. They will try to help me anyways.
My mom is really very much opposite of what i am, so the kind of problems i face is very foreign to my mom. She would care if I share and I have shared as well, but I dont expect a proper suggestions. Sometimes it just gives relief to just share not getting suggestions is fine as well. But ig thats her way of helping. I dont really mind how my parents react. I wont every commit suicide just because my parents didn't listen to me and my problems. I am not at that stage and will never be. I just find it entertaining and funny to share gen z problems with my parents and thats what gives me relief. It shifts the priority of my mind to something else. But there are less things i have shared to them. I just share it to friends if I really have to. I dont even mind if they listen/see or not. It just feels good to speak about it .

>But rather you just want someone to listen to you and who better than someone who knows you from the day you were born.
Yeah man thats what i said, I really dont expect help or any kind of suggestions as i mentioned what kind of suggestions people like to give. Just talking about it feels good sometimes.

>So I just made it as simple as possible. I mean sometimes simplicity does help.
Hope you keep on writing and I get to see it as well.

>Whatt you you doing these days though?
I try to socialize more these days. Though i haven't been able to go out for about a week, kinda sick so. I used to go to this calisthenics park to do pullups and other workouts that require iron bar. Made few friends there as well. I will go as well after i become fine. I also am searching for a job. Better if its my field, even if its not i would love to do it for the experience and just socialization. There are like many close people that my mom know and she is also insisting them about job. Hope I get one. Nothing extra ordinary as of now, there are days when im at house for 24 hours and there are days when I come to home just to eat and sleep. When did you feel like you need to get a job and work? Like since when did you realize i cant live like this everyday? After 12?

>People often go through phases of questioning and uncertainty
Were you ever scared of death or have you always been so optimistic about it?

>You donnt need to figure everything out right now. You dont need to solve the puzzle of existence to start living meaningfully. Everything will unfold slowly.
Thats also why I try to socialize these days. Overthinking is also a type of depression which I dont wanna be a patient of. Maybe if I socialize and have job maybe I would forget about it cause I would have real problems that i can actually work on and improve rather than worrying about things I cant do anything about. There is nothing I can do about mortality, but maybe I can atleast fix the problem in my task.

I think its very shameful to be a introvert in this country. Cause the people are really friendly or even not less than a family. Not everyone ofcourse. Cause even if you go to the villages in this time there's public path from people's yard. If you ask for water they give it as well. My grandmother from mother side invites everyone walking on the road to come and eat something. There is literally no privacy in village and there is no fear of theft as well. That's how much cool we are with people. It was like that in our parent's time as well thats why they dont know what anti-social or introvert is. I really dont know why I am introverted in this country. If we can live this way in a country I dont mind being the country with the lowest IQ. If you talk to any stranger without being weird no one's going to ignore you. It makes sense in a country like Japan why people are introverted and there are hikikomoris cause the people are really shit there when it comes to aiding strangers in any way possible. But this country is different. I am really very disappointed by myself.

>Youre atleast recognizing your fears and your desire for change.
Yeah this is the first step of course. But i feel like i have only realized so much. I mean its important to have a self realization, but what if im not working on the change? I have realized many things about myself but have worked on very few.

> Its honestly pretty overrated.
Daamn why lmao?

>When I used to be a kid. Our family wasnt too good financially. I mean it was enough most of the time but it wasnt enough for extra luxury that I wanted to have.
I can say the same as well, but looking at that time's economy I think it was okay-ish. Nothing was that expensive that time anyways and we didn't have the need to own a thing that was heavily expensive. I would say we are struggling financially these days. We just had anshabanda and you know what brothers can become when it comes to property and money. We are searching for a house to buy hoping something good will happen but its been very long we haven't been able to find it yet. And we are just scared that the money that we received will not just be wasted, thats also one reason why i want to get a job myself.

I dont think I demanded anything as a child. Not cause I was a good child just cause I was pretty dumb to know things like that and at that time there were no kids around me to get jealous. I mean clothes food and education are basic needs they will do that even if I dont ask for it and I am thankfull for that, but except that I haven't demanded anything else as much as i can remember. Still i am grateful for what they have done and of course I want to repay them.

>Since I never had that appreciation for my parents when I was a kid. Stupid kid I was.
I dont think that kind of thing existed when I was a kid. Like I still cant say I love you to my parents. I wasn't brought up that way. I think this is typical nepali behavior. Even the senior people dont say thank you when they receive something or get help. I dont think showing appreciation exists in this country. If like people receive koseli for other they just repay with their koseli next time. Havent really heard people say thank you or dhanyabaad.But that doesn't mean they dont appreciate, they just dont show it.

>How is your? Do you smoke? Or drink?
Opposite to yours, I stopped smoking 2 years ago and I very rarely drink. I dont know if its my special talent or not but i like and dont mind consuming these bitter stuffs that are supposed to be healthy. Like whenever im sick i dont mind those hot water with jadibuti mixed in. I also like hot water. I like karela. Makes me wonder instead why people hate on this stuff. I am thin and i also have high metabolism but my bones are pretty strong. Never had a broken bone, didn't get corona, haven't gotten dengue yet. What I have is never ending gastric which really burns my chest at night, thats also why I stopped smoking. Beside that I am pretty much healthy.

>I might think like that purely coz of regrret. But idk. Im not dead yet.
I mean you might not be able to think if you are dead.

>If you're kalo jibrey then I hope youu curse me saying "hope he dies at 50 aftter raising a kid to theirr adultthood" thanks in advance
Wont be doing that.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>This is a problem imo though coz once u know you shouldn't be but if youre still the same then that asks for something.
Not gonna pretend like I understand this sentence.

>Either you are emotionally unstable or you are coping with the fact that something bad as happened to you. And both are as bad.
For long term its clearly bad. You cannot still be emotional about a thing that happened two years ago. Its also true that moving on is hard but a lot can happen in 2 years or a certain time. I dont think even an emotionally unstable person clings onto things for so long, its just not trying to move on ig. Hoping something good will eventually happen to them if they look sad and depressed. Which is what i have seen mostly.

> Also this thing that I learned after my breakup is that there are tons of people saying "if you are gping through hard times just stay yourself busy like do this do that" keep your mind distracted.
For me when I ask suggestions or when I get suggested I dont expect "what" to do. i expect "how" to do. Like if im broke and i ask for suggestions people are obviously gonna say you should get a job. Like I already dont know that. I need suggestions not orders. I want suggestions on how I can get a job. Its pretty easy for people to say do this and dont do that but we all are different people what worked for them cannot work for everyone.

>I find actually facing things head on is the best way to do it.
For me what I like about the people of our mom and dad's generation is that the problem our current generation faces like social anxiety, depression, breakups is not in their dictionary. So whenever they share their problem with their parents they really dgaf. Which could be bad in certain cases. if they become careless about their kids like that. I personally dont share my problems with my parents cause I know they wouldn't get the problems im facing and thats enough for me to calm down. Its just gives a sensation of relief knowing it aint a bigger problem. Ofcourse it could be a bigger problem to me but that kinda calms me down knowing there are people who literally have no idea about what I am going through. This ofcourse doesn't work always but It has worked many times. Just sometimes make me realize there will come a time where there would be bigger problems in my life.

>I felt like my abilities was limited when I rhymed.
Yeah, also its not like there would be rhyming words for each and every experiences of your life. It really gives freedom to write. You start thinking of rhyming words rather than trying to sum up your experiences which I have faced too. It can ruin your writing as well, could lose the touch of realism.

>Id like to hear whats ur inspiration behind this was.
I would say its my day to day life. That was around when I left my internship and i was back to my normal workless routine. Just internal conflicts and personal dissatisfaction. Thats when I picked up the pen. I also wanted to do something new except being on laptop all day and i shut down my laptop and started writing. I also wrote another one next day which I didn't write in a copy so im still searching the file.

>lmao I found ur id before seeing this lol.
I was shocked too, i just pressed send button and opened Instagram and saw your notification. I thought even if you had read my comment you wouldn't have reached that paragraph within that time.


>I dont have any right to say how others should live but dwelling about things that isnt something controllable and potentially losing the present is pretty stupid thing to do imo.
Yeah it is indeed a very stupid thing. Me and people supporting nihilism cry about not having a universal purpose but whats there we can do about it? We search for our universal purpose? Not having an universal purpose is a topic to think about and is an interesting topic but its clearly not worth thinking about it when you are not a professional in that field. But it can absorb your motivation to do things when you realize nothing that you do will matter one day. Its just a phase for me hope I grow out of this someday. Its just been in my mind because of the death experiences I had to face. Death is indeed a scary thing if you look it that way. Everything is pretty normal to everyone even if you are gone. The time passes, alive people live, the sun shines, earth revolves, maybe this is what people are scared of? But doesn't that mean that the death doesn't matter? Your life still mattered if you are gone and things are still normal maybe that means the death has no meaning? Cause you dont exist and anything that doesn't exist should not matter to the things or people that are existing.

I still haven't able to adopt death in a good way. Which I think we should. But it may eventually grow in me that this is also a part of life. But it is indeed scary to think that you dont exist one day. There are so many mysteries we will never learn the truth about and so many things will go unnoticed. We wont be able to experience everything. Life is unequal for everybody. Some get what they dont deserve and some dont get what they deserve and it is sad to imagine people will be gone after living an unfair life. Every life should be equal. These things are really scary. Hope I will learn things in coming days that will help me grow as a person. I might start appreciating the life I have even more. This is not how I want to live my life for sure, being scared of death every time.

>and most of their answers are related to sex fantasies.
That's also a thing to experience for once ig lmao.

> Thats literally all I want in my life. Like I wanna get married and have children by like 30/32 and I wanna raise a kid.
Deep down thats what I want as well. But I think that wish of mine is being shadowed by what my opinion on life is these days. Also I dont yet wanna think about marriage. I dont see myself as a father yet. I need to work on a lot of things still. About 5 6 years ago I really wanted to be famous, wanted to live a luxurious life. I wanted popularity, but i dont think like that these days. Normal life with high earning is possible as well. Thats what the aim is right now. Tbh I dont have a unique aim for myself. I just want my parents to have a happy life before dying. Just let them experience things they missed out on. Life sounds too short to just spend it in Nepal only. Maybe a little bit of travelling with parents and family. Thats what my thought for future is.

>and once they are adult like 20/22. Ill happily die.
Damn thats like 50/52? You really want to die early? Thats like my das's current age
But what if you live for 90 years? Do you drink or smoke? How is your diet? What if you die before that tho? Like even before 30s due to unforeseen circumstances?


Its not getting too good.
Hope i dont have a "Kalo Jibro"

>But if its something that involves your deep emotions then whats the point finding logic?
I dont know what its called in english but im not a bhau khojne type of person. I respond to everyone if I can. I do reakize that they just remember me when they need but I still respond to them. So whenever I get emotional its mostly one sided only. I feel like i am the only one grieving over this thing while to them this isnt a big deal. So i used to think im being too clingy over a thing that doesnt matter to anyone else but me. But to me its a big deal and deeply rooted emotion. Though sometimes it isnt a big deal but you spoil yourself into becoming too emotional for things that you shouldnt be. I think its okay being too clingy and emotional but you need to move on at some point. Once all your emotional frustration is gone you can work on the logical side.

>Though I don't wanna share in comments. Ill dm you instead.
I read it sir. Tho I didnt expect all of them to be in English. Its good. Looks like only your first poem is with rhyming and every other ones are fee verse poems. The free verse really shows the experience and truthfullness.

>And also Id love to read what you wrote
I wrote one in Nepali. I have written in english as well but I didnt find it anywhere it was in some google drive link if I find it I will share it someday. This is the latest one I wrote about 4 or 5 months ago.

आलसले भरिएको सुस्त दिनहरू झेलिरहेको छु म,
जीवनको नाटकमा एक्लोपनको पात्र खेलिरहेको छु म।

एक्लोपनको भारी बोकि मैले, काटिसकँ धेरै अब्द,(This means year)
मस्तिष्क भरि शब्द छन् मेरा, ओठ छन् निशब्द।

आँखा भरि सपना छन् मेरा, मस्तिष्कमा सवाल हजार,
नाटकमा छुटे केही कथा मेरा, जीवन भयो उजार।

I am not good with summarizing my experience in this kind of format. But i think im okay at writing imiginary stuffs. Like stories or even poems. One of my friend uploaded poems on reddit and someone asked him to sell it for $3 to $4. So I tried doing that as well but i didnt find the guy. Thats when I wrote those poems which are lost now.

>I also started to post things I write from today on Insta.
I dont think we are connected on insta. Kuwushall is my username.

>But if I say "didi ma voli bihana auxu tapai mero time ma aunus hai" then she will agree.
Sounds cool.

>Too bad he died.
I realized that after listening his two albums. I went to see why he stopped making music and found out he is dead.

>Even if life is just about living until we die, the experiences, connections, and even struggles we have during those 70-80 years give it weight if only to us and the people we touch.
Each person has a different life so I dont think saying "life has no meaning" is correct way to represent this concept. You cannot speak for everybody. I do indeed agree with most part of nihilism but I dont think life itself is meaningless. I think existence is meaningless. Existing just to vanish someday completely. Existence being meaningless does not negate the values people attribute to life.

>Just because some things are inevitable doesn’t mean the journey toward them is meaningless.
I think it comes from how you perceive the concept of death. Most people including me are scared of death it is the literal end to a life. It makes people disappear.
The journey is meaningful if you have a destination. I cant think death as a destination. Its also only meaningful when you have fun looking back to your journey and its struggles which after death is impossible to do. You climb the mountain but immediately after reaching the top you slip and die can that be called meaningful if you wont be able to look back to your struggles? Maybe we can do that while we are alive but idk man its getting really hard atp to put it in words. I am not being able to write down the way I am thinking. Yeah living itself isnt meaningless. Its just that we lack a universal purpose in life. We all have personal purposes ofc. There is a high chance that universe was a coincident and that means we are coincident as well.

>I just understand how important this whole concept of "god" is to the world.
It has become more about religion than gods these days. I myself dont care about the gods but I like my religion. It has become more about having more power and population. People are more loyal to religion than the gods. God and Religion has become two different things. I have seen people of different religion reading geeta or bible. People dont get into the religion but kinda follow the gods.

>I understand what you mean but forr me reelationship is friendship with multiple different dynamics that its not really comparable.
Maybe a good friendship can be compared with a good relationship but a good relationship cannot be compared with a
good friendship.

>Ive experienced quite a few deaths of my close ones and the pain of losing someone is same but in breakup we are literally grieving for someone who is still alive.
I associate relationships with friendships. I think if its a strong relationship and friendship its basically the same thing except for the physical thing. So the closest thing i can associate breakup is with losing a friend but when does that ever happen? Like i have never experienced breaking up with a friend. I have had situanships but never been in a proper relationship. So i dont know what a breakup feels like. The only proper "losing your close people" i have experienced is death so I just thought maybe this is what breakup feels like. From that logic its like people dying but they say "i dont wanna be withyou anymore so im going to die". Lmao

>Then I read few books and I saw this line "Logic doesn't care about your emotion and emotion doesn't care about logic".
So did you become more logical or emotional after this?

> Like I used to read poems a lot and I always wanted to write one. And now Ive started to do it. Ive written 4 poems now
Are you willing to share them? I have written few poems as well. One is still saved. The other ones got lost when i bought a new phone and got rid of the old phone.

>Its 3.5 km from my home so its rather near.
Is the time table flexible? Whats the schedule cause this site says you messaged me at 11:30 yesterday and thats commonly the work hour.

>I mean itts possibly the only wayy yo engage in a conversation with someone you dont even know like youu cant go to them and talk as if you are frnds for 10 years.
Even friends with 10 years of friendship start off with "k chha".


>Ive been Getting into too much brainrot gay stuufs nowadays lmao. Idk why I find them so funny.
Instagram has become the main hub for memes and trends these days. Facebook is pretty much dead and one sided these days. Whateever happens in facebook stays in facebook. But whatever happens in insta reaches everywhere.

>You like him?
Yes been listening to him lately. Before him i was listening to loud musics mostly . The ones you suggested as well. One of my friend listens to nujabes and was suggesting me to listen as well and i gave it a try. Helps in multitasking as well.
The consistent beats, tones, and instrumental loops helps in concentration.

>Enies Lobby has the highest high in all of one piece thematically. Luffy vs Lucci is still to this dattee my favourite fight in One Piece.
Alsso zoro and sanji got to shine with their own fights. Robin's past was shown which is also like the first step towards the mystery solving in one piece.

>I dont even know what the underworld prison arc is. Is it the fishman island or the arc before thee marineford?
Its before the marineford arc Imped down arc. Luffy goes there to save ace and meets jinbei. That was a cool arc as well. Boa helpes luffy sneak into the prison.

>Marine fordd was amazing arc but my only problem with it is that itts too long tthatt it should be.
I mean yeah man. It took luffy ages to reach ace's execution spot. Bro kept running for a whole episode and didnt even reach.

> And I dont really like Wholecake.
the reason I like wholecake island arc is that one piece is known for its friendship and i think this arc does its job more emotionally and dramatically and it went out of its way to do something new by adding a litttle bit of family drama as well. At that point every arcs were same. Luffy saves the islanders by defeating the villain and have a buffet at the end and continue their journey. So it was kinda new and its within the story as well. We got introduced to one the the yonkos and her crew.

>While there might not be objective universal meaning or purpose for you being here but you cannot deny the fact tthat are personal meanings andd purpose you yourself can create through relationships, friendships or anything else.
Yes thats true there are always personal meanings in life. But i think nihilism also talks about humanity in general and not just one life. In this vast universe how's a tiny humanity like ours gonna matter. Its true that we gotta live till we die and what we do while we are alive matters to us and the people around us. But thats limited to that only. The world is cruel and we need to have something to stick on and believe in it. We are forced by the dynamics of the world to have meaning. My concept of nihilism is you are gonna matter to you and people around you but there still are inevitable things that you can do nothing about. Because literally nothing is permanent. But i am not encougaring suicide here. I myself will never do such things. I like to think being alive ia a sin and killing yourself is even bigger sin than that.
I am happy to be alive and all but studying, graduating, earning, marrying and everything else is all for nothing. Its all to not die untill your time comes. So man maybe the meaning of life is to just live untill you die. Living matters for 70 80 years death doesnt.

>The concept of nothingness is fascinating as well.
I feel like whatever our mind cannot capture or remember is nothingness. Cause sometimes you are just staring at the wall or sky and when you get disrupted by someone you dont even remember what you were thinking. Prolly because you were thinking nothing? Just pure zero thought and blank mind? If sleep is the state of unconsciousness and nothingness cannot be achieved in conscious state is it safe to say that we have experienced nothingness during sleep?
We dont remember it because conscious mind cannot grasp the concept of nothingness.

>Whats your view on gods and aliens
I feel like there were people like shiva parbati ganesh and all. Maybe they were like a leader of particular community during the evolution phase in the beginning we were pretty much animals and we had animal instinct so I think maybe the people we claim to be god gained intelligence and knowledge before than everyone else so maybe thats why they worship them as gods. God Indra prolly found out that it rains in this season and doesnt in this season before everyone else and maybe thats why he is the god of rain? And prolly whatever is mentioned in the holy books are the experiments they did cause none of them knew what would happen if we did this. This was prolly centuries ago so maybe the stories have evolved at this point? I like to think these people we worship as god existed and also the stone bridge in sri lanka exists for real. Not sure if the monkeys did it tho. So yeah maybe they were real life super hereos did something for the community and became the god of people. I personally dont believe in gods like how everyone else does. Buddha was born as a normal human being as well and later became god and jesus as well. So its hard to believe that our hindu gods just came from nowhere.

i also think aliens exist. It would be stupid to think that they dont. Universe has countless possibilities and people think there exists no other planets or life in other part of the universe? If there really are infinite possibilities I also think there are infinite of planets that is straight up rip off of our planet. Infinites of me and you chatting through MAL. There are literally infinite of possibilites and even all of the unique possibilities can end and everything can start from zero again. Imagining shit like this really fucks your brain. Its the same people who claim that earth is flat that are denying the existence of aliens. We are aliens to lmao.

>Now that Im almost fully over my breakup I can start socialising again.
Damn sorry to hear that my friend. Looks like youve already moved on quite a bit already. Can breakup be associated with the death of an closed ones? Like is the feeling same to when a person dies?

Where did you start working is it near your house or is it far? Also congratulations for getting a job. Good luck with your work and life.

>Thats nice. Youre growing as a person.
I still suck at holding a conversation with an unknown female. But i feel like i have improved a lot while i communicate with males. I used to find "formality" cringe. Like asking "khana khanu bhayo", "k chha halkhabar" absolutely for no reason. I still dont care what others eat and how they are but what i understood is adapting these small things is how you develop. Cause there's literally nothing to lose. There is only gain either positive or negative.

>Nice to see you going out of your comfort zone
Yeah not daily, but way more than how much i did few months ago. Whenever im out im much more confident. I kinda sing or hum these days when i am outside and pretty loud enough. I wouldnt have dont that a few months ago. Might be a lil childish but I sometimes shout as well lmao.

>It used to happen to me too. When I open laptop and open google. It automatically runs MAL on background. Now that I logged off. It wasnt the problem.
It could be the mobile app for me. Maybe it runs in the background when the wifi is on. I could turn it off but being active on MAL everytime isnt a problem unless it drains energy from my phone.

>I honestly dont remember what I asked you to watch here lmao.
It was a hindi movie, dont remember the name.

>I dont like it doesnt mean i cannot consume it.
But there still are pure haters who without consuming hate on things. Also yeah i wont listen to it if i dont like it but I should be able so say what I didnt like about it and why i didnt like it. if people are open to share their opinion about what they like, people who disliked it should have the opportunity to share their opinion as well. Its fun seeing different opinions clash in the internet until an indian nigga comes and comments "India best saar", "Virat kohli eats 10 ronaldo for breakfast"

>He is almostt a mumble rapper buut I love his flows and beat selection.
I was trying to get into him but havent got time. His latest album is the only one that I have listened. Have you heard of nujabes? I listen to him nowadays. He did all of the sound tracks from samurai champloo. He does blend of jazz, hip-hop, and atmospheric sounds. It is also said that he started lofi musics. Been into him lately.

>His entire connection with that blind Gungi kid is phenomenaly done.
I like think that this arc uplifted the rating of hxh. Yorknew city could also be the reason cause of chrollo lucifer fangirls. But if I have to think plot, story character and developmenmt wise it has to be one of the best arc in anime history. Also whats your fav one piece arc? It has to be wholecake for me. The sogeking arc was good as well and the underwater prison.

>Do you hate anyyone?
Not a passionate hater but i cant stand uryu ishida guy. I feel like weve talked about this before. Just the character's personality pissed me off. Very unlikable for me. I would say a better version of sasuke but still shit.

>Are you scared of it?
I experienced the death of two people within 6 months one very close and another not so close to me. So i would say my view on life changed rather than saying im scared of death. But i dont know maybe i am. Just the thought of not existing terrifies me. Made me think through a lot of things. How a small number of humans dont matter at all. They die but the world keeps revolving. You only matter to yourself and the close ones around you when you are alive. Your though on death is more focused on spiritual and conscious aspect. For me the mortality just scares me. It maybe because I havent lived life fully yet and im prolly scared of dying without doing anything. Maybe it would change as i grow older. Also i have become quite nihilistic. I dont think we have any purpose here at all. Cause even universe is dying oneday and we will never be able to stop it. I can say this is why I decided to get out of my comfort zone. Cause all i did after experiencing loss of people was think about death. Life was good when people said you go to heaven after dying so it still gave a hope of existing. But thats not the case is it? You dont exist twice. I am nowhere near those proffessors or scientist who know way too much and are way more knowledgeable and intelligent than average people but I feel like I know why people say "dherai padhyo bhane pagal hunxa". I should have become cringe rather than becoming a nerd.

I see you are fascinated about death which im as well. But i dont see it as in interesting topic. What amazes me more than anything in this world is the concept of "nothingness". Where is our universe located at? What was there when there was no universe? If there was nothing before universe it should be blank but our brains are limited to imagine "blank" as plain white or black which still is "something". It actually makes sense why religions and gods got created. Cause we dont know what nothing is and its easy to say god was there. And another reason why death scares me is that there are countless unknown things about this world that we will never know. Why the fuck do we exist? And on top of that we have to live legally, morally and socially. My opinion is more based on Meaning of Existence.
Whats your opinion on gods and aliens?

Looks like skip and loafer is getting an another season will you be watching it?
My intertet's pack ended a few days ago and i downloaded few anime to watch i wasnt able to watch any of them. I also only watched one seasonal anime this season. I think im done atp. I think i can still go for another 2 years only seasonals tho. But i really cant pick up any newer ones.

>I feel like Ive stopped enjoying festivals for long time now.
I wont say i enjoyed the festivals itself but i will say i enjoyed meeting people and travelling in the name of festivals. I am literally tired of my lonely-only-stay-in-home life and I really look forward to meeting people these days maybe thats what i enjoyed more than the festivals. We dontt have festivals this year so i didnt put tika but i really enjoyed my 2 weeks out of kathmandu. I have kinda socially started taking risks these days.

> Ive been really inactive recently as well.
I havent been much active in this site either. But my friends say it shows me online. Idk if somethings wrong with this site or a MAL tab is secretly running somewhere in my phone. Havent connected manga reading app to this site too. But finished a movie called Look Back today so i opened this site to add it in the list. You mustve heard of look back right? From the author of chainsaw man he prolly made this one shot during lockdown so you may have heard about it or even read.

>You should watch it if you havent.
I havent. I might but not very soon. Maybe one day.

>Shows how underground Im rn. Havent even heard it once lmao.
The song is meh. But the anime it maybe shounen but its kinda new. Im enjoying it for now. Do you know jigokuraku? Thees both could be on the same level when it comes to newer changes in shounen but dandadan is better.


>Im pretty sure these were the most black dominated fields back then but dont think its the case now at all.
These still are black dominated fields but not "only". Maybe porn too now lmao.

> I think Em is overglorified interms of his actual songwriting but his legacy is undeniable.
Snoop dogg is prolly the second popular name after 2pac in terms of influence but I literally know nothing about snoop dogg. I think eminem has done more than snoop dogg also during not a very good times. I just think snoop dogg is there just cause he is friends with 2 pac and other big rappers and he is older. I feel like he is only respected for his age and how chill he is when he is stoned and maybe thats how he became frank with other rappers.


>This doesnt mean old school rap is trash
Yeah ofc not. Bands are not as popular as they used to be these days. But we still listen to bands from 60s and 70s. But also we are emotionally connected to what we are used to hearing doesnt mean we wont like the newer ones. Its not that all the newer ones are going to be bad.

Also what do you think about this. There are people saying "if you dont like dont listen to the music". But again you need to listen to it first to decide whether you like or not and if I dont i think i should have the right to comment on what i didnt like about it. That doesnt mean i have the right to defame and insult people but i should atleast be able to justify my taste and my opinion and I will never again listen to it. It looks quite easy to me.

>What do you mean by newer version. If new version applies to Kendrik, Cole or Vince Staples then Im fine with them.
They still make music doesnt mean they have adapted to the newer version of rap. Theres mumble trap emo. Emo ones are prolly like xxxtentacion and juicewrld. Which i personally never liked. Mumble ones are just mumbling words that not even the rappers themselves understand. But i quite enjoy them.

>In same category I though like Travis, Future and somewhat like the pure chatoic and unhinged lyricism of Tyler.
Future's been getting quite mumbly lately tho. He may not be a pure mumble rapper but he has tried it atleast. Do you like his latest album from which the kendrick drake beef again started?

>How do you feel about this?
But from what i have seen i feel like you will like 21 savage? Have you never listened to him? If not maybe give it a try.

> Ya like what if Ichigo'a dad wore a condom. Who would plan Ichigo's birth now.
Lmao this made me laugh for minutes.

>I see Aizen as a bad reskinned version of Urahara that went dark.
Yeah man i never thought about that but urahara had his reasons to become a villain. Wouldnt have been strange.

>I atleast think Aizen has a level of depth of his character unlike cool characters like Madara. So even though I dont really like Aizen as a character I feel like he is not actually a bad antagonist.
Yeh aizen is not a bad antagonist he is okay but not in a way he is renowned as. There are things people are missing out about aizen and only hyping him up about his planing skills. Which sounds bullshit to me.

What do you think about grimmjow?
Im neutral towards him i neither like nor dislike him but later in he kinda teamed up with ichiho and the gang. I kinda liked him at the beginning he was passionate about fighting stonger opponents than him. He was doing what he was supposed to do. Idk maybe the loss eventually turned into respect.

>Ulquiorra is Meruem of Bleach
I didnt know you liked mereum. It makes sense why you like him now that you have compared him with Ulquiorra. Wat i like about mereum or rather the whole chimera ant arc is that mereum as an evil villain trying to finish human kind it would make sense for him to change or develop as a character in a war or a fight. Instead of evolving through battle or warfare he changed in the setting of a simple game of Gungi. Who would have thought of that. The other side of the arc was already chaotic with kite dying gon getting stronger and blinded by vengeance while the one he is supposed to fight is evolving in a kinda better way.

> I loved Shinji and Rose.
Oh yeah i like shinji too. He has a cool bankai too.


I feel like when pasionate characters break their character it kinda sucks. I mean if the story and character have a good development about a character's changes it would make sense. But randomly changing a character from what the viewers are used to viewing would be bad.

What characters do you hate from bleach?

>Even I didnt know about what mewing, gyatt were untill yesterday.
Lmao how did you learn about it?

>And we came to the conclusion that the reason Balen is so powerful rn is that he did what past politicians couldn't. Which is to be accessible to the younger audience.
He could be accessible to older audience too. Cause even some of the old people are frustrated of seeing the sutuation of this country maybe they atleast want to see this country become good before they die. He is actually trying to globalize things as well. I forgot what actually he was talking about. But he was saying we have "something: unique than india which we and actually globalize and pull tourists.
What i also thought of was Like indian cuisine and ours is not much different but their's is more spicy. ours is a blend of every masala but equal. Tourists dont prefer spicy foods so maybe we could work on this like it would have indian taste too but less spicy.

Are you not scared of death and growing older? What do you think of death and evolution?