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Did you know that this show was getting another season? I didn't. I mean, I read on MAL that there was a 'sequel' show to Diabolik Lovers entitled 'Diabolik Lovers More,Blood', but I didn't believe what I was looking at (the comma in your second season title is one word too late by the way fellas). I went back to the page multiple times, and eventually realised 'oh, this actually exists.' The fact that a show this atrocious can get a sequel clearly demonstrates how pathetic this industry is, and that really hurts me to say. Now that I check again, apparently it's already started ... airing and has finished! Bloody hell. Anyway, let's tackle this beast of a show... and I don't say that in a good way.

Alright, well, this is probably one of the worst shows I've ever watched; just thought I'd get that out there immediately in case you didn't know my view on this. I'm very pleased that everyone else seems to realise how poor this show's quality is, otherwise I'd probably have to press the eject button on my 'anime fan' seat and get out of this community as fast as possible.

What drew me to this show initially was the art, which is what usually gets me watching a show in the first place. The art of this show is surprisingly (given how horrendous everything else is), very good; phenomenal in fact. I was particularly drawn to the eye design of the characters, which is something I can always appreciate when it comes to anime art.

Even the concept of the show, 'a family of attractive vampiric brothers sharing a living space with a young girl', was something that took my interest. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I sure as hell wasn't expecting this blowout.

The main character of this show, Yui Komori, despite being quite attractive, is unfortunately somewhat mentally dull. I would hazard a guess that she's missing some key thought- processes, in fact. The way in which her character interacts with the rest of the show's characters is just vacant, and very uninspiring. You feel that there is no dynamic to this girl's reactions to her surroundings, and the reason you think this is because you're dead right; she's probably the most boring character in the entire show, and that's seriously saying something.

Diabolik Neck Biting should be the name of this show, because there are no 'lovers' present; this is merely a 'story' (I say story very loosely) about a girl running away from a group of adolescents and young men trying to bite her for sexual pleasure. While there may be a few scenes here and there giving the illusion of a 'story' existing in the show besides that of said neck biting, the actual, real 'story' is about a girl who serves no purpose in this anime other than to have her neck bitten repeatedly. I'm talking, at least 5 neck biting scenes per episode, and there can be as many as 3 or 4 different people biting her in the one episode. The entire synopsis of this show should be changed to the following: 'Girl enters house and finds herself in an endlessly repeating cycle of vampiric rape'.

Just when you think the supposed 'story' that the show is trying its very best to tell is actually creating some kind of valid background to the whole situation, the neck biting makes a dramatic return, and reminds you why you're actually watching the show, or at the very least, the only reason why anyone would want watch the show. Who would actually want to watch it knowing how bad it is? I have no clue. I really don't think that someone with a cannibalism fetish, a blood fetish, or just a biting fetish would find this pathetic excuse of a show to be 'entertaining', or even arousing! It's difficult for me to even describe the execution of these neck biting scenes, because it feels like, as I have said, this neck biting deal is the whole entire point of this show. It gets repetitive by around episode 2/3, and this continues for the entire show. It's so pointless that it leaves me stunned for words.

There are no 'lovers' to be seen, but the quality of the show's episodes is diabolically horrendous, so I suppose the anime's name does have some relevance to what's happening in the show. I would really liken this show to your average H-Anime like so:
H-Anime - Possesses a weak story that is not designed to interest anyone, but rather exists to create a context for the sex scenes that serve as the true purpose of the show.
Diabolik Lovers - Possesses a weak story that is not designed to interest anyone, but rather exists to create a context for the neck biting scenes that serve as the true purpose of the show.

Diabolik Lovers, long story short, had a much better life ahead of it in the H-Anime world. Except, this show has close to zero nudity. It fails as an H-Anime, despite having all of the prerequisites save for the show's rating, and also fails as a normal anime. Completely. I will repeat this again:

The only positive aspect to this show is the art. Diabolik Lovers has some of my favourite anime art, yet it's one of the worst shows I have ever watched. That's a real shame, because the potential was there for something good to exist here, but it was thrown head first out the door to pander to a seemingly brain- dead demographic who value 50 neck biting scenes across 12 episodes over a legitimate story- related purpose. Fine if they're dedicated sex scenes, and the anime's rating is Rx, but not fine if it's an R - 17 anime that's not even allowed to show nudity.

Excluding the art, this show is up there as one of the most astounding anime failures I have ever had the displeasure of watching, and quite frankly, I don't know when I'll get around to watching the second season. If it's more of the same, I'll probably drop it before the second episode, because I honestly have better things to do with my time. In fact, I think any person who has any value in their lives whatsoever would be able to find something more productive to do with their time than watching this series.

Do not watch this show, even if you like Vampires. You will never want to watch another erotic vampiric biting scene again in your entire life, and your whole perception of what makes a vampire 'cool' will be annihilated for all eternity, if Twilight hasn't already done so. Please take yourself over to Hellsing Ultimate and give this show a miss; at least Hellsing Ultimate has a sex scene, and that was an INTERESTING show! Just forget you ever heard about Diabolik Lovers; I honestly wish I could forget.

What a woeful, sodding show this is. Never has an anime given me such grief. This was an extremely hard show for me to get through. 26 episodes! Of what? That's a bloody good question! I have no idea just what this anime is trying to tell me. I have never seen such a cringe worthy compilation of terrible humour, immensely drab and repeated cliche 'harem scenes', sub- par ecchi scenes that don't even KNOW whether they want to take advantage of the show's R+ rating, as well as a story that serves NO PURPOSE.

The entire show was utterly, and completely, pointless. "Don't watch ... ecchi shows looking for good story" some may say. Fair point, perhaps watching a show that has a completely pointless story doesn't work for me. What I'm concerned about primarily here is... what the show DOES focus on and what it DOES value is also done to a horrific standard; i.e the humour and the ecchi scenes. The story and the humour are both closely intertwined, which is why I have mentioned the story.

The issue with this story is not only in the fact that it is totally pointless... it is also physically painful to watch. The humour present is just so stupid, and the story events are supposed to be funny and goofy... but they're really not at all. They're just crap. There is no other way for me to explain it without pulling out my foul-word-repertoire. The only time I was laughing was when it was beginning to hit me just how terrible this show is.

The ecchi, also closely linked to the story (which leaves the ecchi dead on arrival, as the scenes are badly executed due to the badly written story) is just lacking. If you're going to have a show based so heavily around ecchi- scenes, make them good. Seriously. (I will say that To LOVE-Ru Darkness really picks up the ball on this one, but that's not related to this steaming pile of buffalo feces i.e the first season of this show). The ecchi scenes are just not good enough for a show like this. They cover the nipples more than they should, and as has been previously mentioned, the scenes are just badly executed in general, to an eye- rolling extent.

Now, the characters. Oh god, the characters. Here we go. The main character, of course, being Rito (who is clearly just an unfortunate soul trapped in a terrible anime for the lowest common denominator) is just a completely pointless character. Yes, there are a few scenes demonstrating the fact that he's just a genuinely 'nice' kid, and that he likes plants (which is the basis for which one of the characters in the show falls for him... what kind of CRAP is that?!), but they hardly explore his character at all apart from his internal conflict regarding whether or not he wants to bone the hyperactive pink haired bimbo or the ONLY INTERESTING CHARACTER IN THE SHOW, Haruna. Instead they just use his character as a means to instigate terrible ecchi scene after terrible ecchi scene; you know, the usual trip over and somehow strip the woman naked - mistakes and bumbles that are mildly funny once or twice, but become ridiculously depressing to watch after 26 EPISODES.

I don't want to make this too long, but in summary, all of the other characters except for Haruna, in this season anyway, are just 'there', and serve no purpose other than to be 'hot' or to be stripped naked. Lala is one of the few anime girls that I would willingly punch in the face, and the school principle should be arrested. Not for being a sexual predator, but for being a fat midget who is NOT FUNNY AT ALL.

So, what do we have here? We have a story that is completely and utterly pointless with NO redeeming aspects whatsoever, whether it be in regards to the characters (who have the depth of a piss puddle) or the humour (which is some of the worst I've seen in anime thus far). I am aware that a lot of the things I have outlined in this review aren't unusual for a harem anime, but my concern is that this anime does everything BADLY. I actually LIKE a lot of the aspects that this show presents; aliens, ecchi, humour, just to name a few. What concerns me is just how TERRIBLY these were done. If you're going to have a crap story, support it with something else that's good in place of it. A an anime that is weak in all aspects, to the point where it hurts to watch a few minutes of one episode out of 26 EPISODES, should not be allowed to exist.

I regret ever getting into this series.

My advice to anyone who values their time, is to not watch this festering garbage. Yes, it only lasts for 40 seconds, but this is a 40 seconds that you unfortunately will never get back. I cannot imagine the purpose behind this. It would be quite impressive to have a 40 second- long clip that could tell a story, convey emotion(s) and leave one with something worthwhile, but what's mostly concerning here is that Kokuhaku doesn't even attempt to achieve any of these things.

The effort that has gone into this is utterly infinitesimal and is an embarrassment to the animation industry. It is not ... funny, it is not clever, it is not well executed. It is appalling. Nothing, I repeat, nothing has been done to make this even remotely 'reasonable' as far as quality is concerned. The music to paint the emotion of the scene is non existent, which is usually an indispensable asset to any 'horror' animation/film. Even if music were used to any degree of effect here, it would add nothing. That is how bad this is. I will not list everything else wrong with this animation, as everything visually and auditorily that is present in this animation has been done terribly.

All in all, it is woefully horrendous and should not be taken seriously whatsoever by anyone. It is a goose egg; it amounts to nothing and was never destined to amount to anything. Its creation was a mistake and should be banned from the internet and all forms of media.