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My opinion is the correct one, because I am always right. I know this because I said so, and I am always right. You may criticise that logic as being circular, but circular logic works, because I said so, and I am always right. Since circular logic works, I am always right, and since I am always right, circular logic works.

To those of you who are unenlightened and disagree with any of my opinions, I truly pity you, even if I cannot possibly comprehend how much worse life must be without the natural gift of objectivity that I have been given.

Another talent of mine is my speling. and my, punctuation.

No one's ever gonna read this. Why did I even bother? Wait, if someone is reading this, that means that they'll see what I'm saying, and if no one is then they won't. Thus, it is only logical I should pretend like someone's going to read this, since, if they aren't, they won't know that I was wrong.

Wow. I am really touched by the incredibly large number of people who read this. You guys are the best. Thank you for wasting your time on me. I have no idea why you did it, nor am I aware that you did it, but thank you for doing it. It means a lot to me that there are so many people who are reading this and rolling their eyes at my mediocre sense of humour.