The Hansel and Gretel survival guide

Apr 23, 2010 11:44 AM

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Apr 2010

Imagine the following situation: it's a rainy evening, you have just come home from work and are all by yourself. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. As you open the door you see two children with white hair and purple eyes, both soaking wet, but with a number of bloodstains on their black clothes. The girl is carrying a rolled up cloth sheet with a teddy bear hanging from it, but aside from that they don't appear to have anything else with them. They ask you if you would let them in until the rain stops, as they are still a long way from home and have no desire to get soaked any more than they already are. You let them in and hand them some towels before your curiousity gets the better of you and you ask how they got the blood on them, to which the boy casually replies that they just killed a bad person before "playing" with one of his partners. it is only then that you realize that you got yourself in a potentially very dangerous situation. Take the following advices to heart, they might save your life.

Do's

1. Be nice to them. Seeing how they are unused to being treated nicely, they will probably appreciate it all the more.

2. Try to treat them like normal children. Noone likes being treated like a walking powder keg, wether it is appropriate or not.

3. Compliment them. However, avoid overtly complimenting their looks. You don't want them to think you're a pedophile.

4. Stay cool. Try to remain relaxed and friendly to show them there's no need to be tense around you.

Don't s:

1. Don't yell at them. They really don't like that.

2. Don't hit them. They don't like that either.

3. Don't try to run away. It will only make youe death more painful.

4. Don't let your nervosity show. If they notice you are nervous or even afraid of them, they might figure you are a bad person too, and thus deserve to be killed.

5. Don't try to hide from them. They'll find you, and it won't be pretty.

And if all else fails and they start playing with you, try not to die too quickly and try to be entertaining for as long as possible.

That's all I got for now. Did i forget anything ?

Sep 23, 2010 7:21 AM

RenaPsychoKiller

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Jun 2008

4942

Dangerous situation? Nervous?
They're just too adorable, I'll keep them at my house with me. So I'll add "take them home" to the do's list, hauuu.
Also "Help them killing bad people" is a great choice.

watching, waiting, commiserating

Sep 23, 2010 12:51 PM

Krieger

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Apr 2010

While I agree that they can be adorable, you might want to ask them if it's okay for you to take them home.Otherwise, you might lose a appendage or two if they decide they don't want to get taken home by you.

Sep 28, 2010 9:34 AM

RenaPsychoKiller

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Jun 2008

4942

You're contradicting yourself. I won't loose any appendage, since, just like you wrote, they're not used to affection, reason why, if you're nice to them, they'll appreciate it. That includes keeping them at your house and taking care of them, since they don't have any place to be. So yeah, I'm going to take them home, and you're not going to stop me. :-P

watching, waiting, commiserating

Oct 5, 2010 3:46 AM

Krieger

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Apr 2010

Well, there's taking care of them, and there's tucking them under your arms and running off with them like a kidnapper ^^. They might not respond so well to the latter. But as long as you give them the choice, I'm sure you won't have anything to worry about, like you said.

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The Hansel and Gretel survival guide

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