Sasaki and Miyano
| Lately he's becoming very cold, possessive and controlling. He doesn't have much respect for personal space or boundaries and tends to do what he wants, barring a couple scenes where he exercised self control. I'm worried that these are red flags that if they begin dating, he's going to become abusive and controlling. It's beginning to look like this anime might be turning into average BL anime with trashy characters that disregard consent, just with a fluffy and pretty artstyle and beautiful characters. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, what do you guys think? |
coreynjFeb 27, 2022 1:11 PM
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| Possessive and controlling ? I just see him as caring, a bit anxious and mostly protective towards Miyano, but nothing bad or like a red flag It's also normal to be a bit jealous when you see potential love interests gravitating about your loved one Miyano also needs a push since he seems to hesitate way too much about how he views Sasaki even if that's pretty obvious. Sasaki being that straightforward (pun intended) is a good thing if he wants to end up with Miyano I also don't see any boundary/personal space problems that you mentioned |
| this is hilarious in soooo many other romances their jealousy causes them to spiral out of control… here he actually communicates his feelings and instead of letting them fester. and he is LITERALLY aware that he is being potentially insensitive and tells miyano that. i may not understand it but jealousy is normal and he actually handles his decently. (also sasaki legit lets miyano do the contest he was concerned miyano got shoved into it without wanting to be) also people can hug and touch each other for a few seconds? miyano was even ok with it. i don’t see the issue |
_________________________________   Before you try revolutionizing the country, why don’t you revolutionize yourself first? - 土方十四郎 |
solavcd said: Seeing someone you're interested in, not even dating, talking with someone else and then ripping them away from that conversation without a word while glaring at the other person is definitely extremely possessive and a huge red flag. He didn't know the context, he simply saw the person he's interested in talking to someone he thought could be a potential rival and instantly ripped him away from the conversation without even asking. Not to mention the several times he's touched him, like in this episode when he played with his hair, without asking first. If a guy I knew randomly started playing with my hair without asking it would make me extremely uncomfortable. Not to mention Miyano switches up his hairstyle and Sasaki immediately asks him to change it without considering if maybe that's how Miyano wanted to style his hair that day. He doesn't even really ask him about it, just immediately asks him to change it. Again, they aren't even dating yet. If they started dating this could easily escalate into him controlling how Miyano dresses, acts, etc. In real life all of this would come across as extremely disrespectful and possessive and realistically it would turn most people away, but of course Miyano has to be the uke because this is BL so he just gives into Sasaki's every whim.i think you’re definitely reading too into it too much. he wasn’t being cold, just a bit possessive which is normal in any relationship. i don’t know what hinted any of that for you but he’s not going to become controlling. and he’s not going to become abusive because have ANY of his actions so far hinted at that? no. |
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Eren_Cho said: Jealousy is normal, yes, but ripping someone away from a conversation without a word and glaring at the other person when you aren't even dating yet is a massive red flag and shows extreme possession and control issues. He had no regard for Miyano in that situation, he just wanted him away from her at any cost and that's extremely inconsiderate and disrespectful towards Miyano.I think you're reading too much. He's one of the healthier guys I've seen in romance anime, both BL and straight. He kept his emotions and urges bottled up for so long, watching his love interest potentially slipping away while he's with him, and he did almost nothing out of respect. The only instances he reacted were due to jealousy, a natural human emotion, and he immediately beat himself up and spoke his concerns. Especially today I was in awe because he didn't follow the traditional trope where the protagonist forces a kiss and all of the sudden the other is in love - he hugged him, a sweet gesture. Plus, he had read the room and knew the boundaries between him and Miyano thanks to past experiences, a little pull wouldn't anger him. I won't be surprised if there's a kiss next episode, my dude deserves it. |
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Seeing someone you're interested in, not even dating, talking with someone else and then ripping them away from that conversation without a word while glaring at the other person is definitely extremely possessive and a huge red flag. He didn't know the context, he simply saw the person he's interested in talking to someone he thought could be a potential rival and instantly ripped him away from the conversation without even asking. In which episode does this scene occurs, again ? It reminds me of the scene where Miyano is talking with Ogasawara If it's that scene, then Sasaki's reaction is quite normal. Even if he doesn't know the context, he saw Ogasawara reaching for Miyano as if he wanted to touch him/his face. He defended Miyano from this and kept Ogasawara away from him (even if it was a misunderstanding), that's perfectly normal when you're in love with someone, it's a bit possessive but also protective, it's like saying "keep your hands off my boyfriend" And it's not like either Miyano or Ogasawara minded that edit : and if it's the scene with the girl mentioned just above my post, that's even more normal for him. She's the freaking girl Miyano admitted to have liked a few years ago, of course Sasaki would be afraid she'd snatch Miyano from him. Yeah, that was awkward of him, mostly because he panicked, but it's not like he freaking kidnapped him there It's the same thing as I explained above, he was basically gatekeeping his lover from what he perceived as a menace Making a mistake or rushing things because you panicked shouldn't be perceived like possessiveness/being overprotective. Humans make mistakes, his reaction may have been bad but that was definitively a normal human reaction, and that doesn't make him a bad or unreliable person. Not to mention the several times he's touched him, like in this episode when he played with his hair, without asking first. What's the problem with that ? If that made Miyano uneasy, he would have said it already There's nothing wrong with being tactile with your friends (either boys or girls) if they're okay with it as well Here I'm gonna make a huge assumption (and maybe fall head first into the clichés) but you're American, and I swear American people seem to have a HUGE problem when it comes to these kind of things (PDA amongst friends, I won't even talk about relationships between men and women) Touching someone's hair, hugging them or even patting their head don't have to be sexual and can perfectly be used in a friendly way, that's actually a pretty common thing If a guy I knew randomly started playing with my hair without asking it would make me extremely uncomfortable. Works for you, but as long as I know you're not Miyano or any fictional character so you can only speak for yourself Once again, if he didn't like that, he would have said it Not to mention Miyano switches up his hairstyle and Sasaki immediately asks him to change it without considering if maybe that's how Miyano wanted to style his hair that day. He doesn't even really ask him about it, just immediately asks him to change it Oooonce again, if he didn't agree, he wouldn't have removed his hairpin Miyano might be shy and reserved, but he's not a bullied little bird that gets so intimidated he can't say no Sasaki didn't give him an order either, he was just stating his opinion (as many people already said here, he communicates which is rare in romance anime) Again, they aren't even dating yet. If they started dating this could easily escalate into him controlling how Miyano dresses, acts, etc. Dating or not, that doesn't change anything You really just read FAR too much into this Yeah, Sasaki is straightforward. And you know what ? That's a good thing. Walking on eggshells with everyone isn't a good way to live and Sasaki understands that. You're almost talking about him like he was harassing Miyano In real life all of this would come across as extremely disrespectful and possessive and realistically it would turn most people away, but of course Miyano has to be the uke because this is BL so he just gives into Sasaki's every whim. How ? Sasaki's been waiting FOR MONTHS for Miyano's answer and he's still waiting. Him making a move or two isn't a bad thing either, Miyano can't stay in this undecisive position forever. Sasaki's moves on him just helps resolving the situation faster, as it was shown at the end of this episode 8 with the hug scene If someone's (kinda) in the wrong and unrealistic in this anime, that's Miyano, who is FAR too unsure about his feelings towards Sasaki I know some people can be dense, oblivious or have to sort out their feelings, but here Miyano just wastes MONTHS just to realize something blatantly obvious. So, I really don't know what you have against Sasaki, his behaviour is completely normal here |
DamuzenFeb 27, 2022 3:10 PM
| if SASAKI of all characters seems controlling to u i wonder if there's ANY bl lead that would satisfy u 😭 (as someone who also hates the possessive and abusive type of leads portrayed to be attractive in romance media) |
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| He apologized tho AHAHAHAHAAHA |
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hwanghyunjin said: The characters in Given aren't like this at all (minus the movie)if SASAKI of all characters seems controlling to u i wonder if there's ANY bl lead that would satisfy u 😭 (as someone who also hates the possessive and abusive type of leads portrayed to be attractive in romance media) |
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| This show is interesting because it is the opposite of most BL anime/manga That's what I like about it. Sexuality is taboo at times yes But this anime doesn't conform to the typical cliches that we are quite familiar with. Know what I mean? No it's no violent Not super impatient. We have to adjust to the seemingly slow pace of the anime. There's no force, or irrational drama every where, or situations where characters have a petty outburst that causes a scene in public settings. Etc etc or abandon basic consentual behaviour. Just acknowledge it's like not stupid funny inappropriate content that we all pretty know very well |
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| If these are red flags to you then never watch Sekaiichi Hatsukoi :D Joke aside I was also a little disturbed by Sasaki's behavior in the last episode (especially when he told Miyano to withdraw from the competition) but he apologized right after, so I softened a little. I think it's worse for Miyano to take Sasaki's advice right away and consider withdrawing from the competition despite all the efforts of his friends. I think we got too used to seme being overprotective and possessive in BL's and it seems very normal to us now. This anime is very soft and innocent compared to other BL's (both anime and live action) I've watched so...idk.. |
This is Nanba Prison. No one has ever escaped successfully from this prison. -Nanbaka |
| I don't know if I'd exactly call it a "red flag" (this isn't suddenly gonna become a thriller lmao), but I get you. Though he apologized for his possessive/controlling behavior when it came to Miyano and his old classmate, he kind of keeps doing it. The hair clip scene was also weird in that way. At first it seemed like he was self-aware of his behavior, which would've made it a lot more excusable along with his apology, but he still constantly flirts with Miyano and touches him. Miyano hasn't expressed a dislike of this, but it does feel a little inconsiderate of Sasaki to do so knowing Miyano is still trying to figure out his feelings for him. Nevermind that Miyano is kind of a pushover who probably wouldn't express that anyway and Sasaki knows that. This could become a whole discussion about "implied consent" tbh. But to quickly nip that in the bud; though it's normal for romantic anime such as this to have these kinds of isms, it does feel a bit odd for something touted to be a "non-problematic BL anime" to contain implied consent and have people defending it so fiercely. In real life, a situation like this would obviously be kind of weird and uncomfortable. But it's an anime, so you just have to roll with the punches and ignore if you can lmao |
BixxbiteMar 3, 2022 2:02 PM
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Damuzen said: I know some people can be dense, oblivious or have to sort out their feelings, but here Miyano just wastes MONTHS just to realize something blatantly obvious. Tbh Miyano's reaction and getting to find out where he's at (as in, his sexuality) is pretty much normal for someone that always thought was Heterosexual, after all he only ever had a crush on a girl. For someone that is Bi for example, this is extremely confusing/normal, as you might think you only see them as a friend and because they've confessed you're more self-conscious of what the other person perceives your actions as, or being in a romantic way. That's just my two-cents, apart from that I agree on everything you've said :) |
MissMoon91Mar 3, 2022 3:12 PM
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Bixxbite said: I agree, it almost feels like a form of grooming- like Sasaki is trying to warm Miyano up to the idea of dating a guy.I don't know if I'd exactly call it a "red flag" (this isn't suddenly gonna become a thriller lmao), but I get you. Though he apologized for his possessive/controlling behavior when it came to Miyano and his old classmate, he kind of keeps doing it. The hair clip scene was also weird in that way. At first it seemed like he was self-aware of his behavior, which would've made it a lot more excusable along with his apology, but he still constantly flirts with Miyano and touches him. Miyano hasn't expressed a dislike of this, but it does feel a little inconsiderate of Sasaki to do so knowing Miyano is still trying to figure out his feelings for him. Nevermind that Miyano is kind of a pushover who probably wouldn't express that anyway and Sasaki knows that. This could become a whole discussion about "implied consent" tbh. But to quickly nip that in the bud; though it's normal for romantic anime such as this to have these kinds of isms, it does feel a bit odd for something touted to be a "non-problematic BL anime" to contain implied consent and have people defending it so fiercely. In real life, a situation like this would obviously be kind of weird and uncomfortable. But it's an anime, so you just have to roll with the punches and ignore if you can lmao |
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coreynj said: I agree, it almost feels like a form of grooming- like Sasaki is trying to warm Miyano up to the idea of dating a guy. Okay, hold on now, GROOMING? I feel like that's a pretty heavy accusation to just throw out there (even when you add "almost" and "feels like") and I don't know how you came to that conclusion based on my comment...... I think it's really just unconsciously inconsiderate at best, willfully inconsiderate (for the sake of some kind of physical/romantic interactions) at worst. He's still just a teenage character, his behavior really just seems misguided and without ill-intent. Hell, we as the audience can literally hear some of his thoughts and they seem to confirm my suspicion. Again, not excusing his behavior, it's still very disrespectful and inconsiderate of him to keep making advances towards Miyano knowing he's still trying to figure himself out. In real life, you'd have to respectfully give someone the space, literally and figuratively, to do that. But it's a romance anime, not real life. To view it from such a rigid, moralistic perspective seems odd. |
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