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What did you think of this chapter?
5Loved it!
66.7%
2
4Liked it!
0.0%
0
3It was OK
33.3%
1
2Disliked it
0.0%
0
1Hated it
0.0%
0
Average 4.3
3 votes
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Sep 16, 12:56 PM
#1

Offline
Jul 2010
1741
Can't say I liked it. While the premise was somewhat interesting, the execution was boring.

No twist, no "spice" to it. I expected to see some "robotic" side to his upgrade, like he's TOO GOOD at something he's actually damaging the company or people around him.

Okay, not everything should become an action thriller, I can appreciate some good drama or love story- one-shot fails as this as well, because it plays "too safe", characters are extremely simple, one-dimensional and I can't say anything actually interesting happens in 70 pages. Which is a lot.

Can be summed as "this guy's clumsy- now he's cool- his girl is conflicted- but she actually really loves him".

Meh... I won't call it a bad story, because I like wholesome stuff, but it's not my cup of tea and is too simple.
Sep 16, 2:03 PM
#2
Offline
Feb 2021
200
Thought this would go the “Flowers for Algernon” route but I got baited into reading something wholesome. It was nice though.
Sep 17, 3:34 PM
#3
Offline
Oct 2020
3593
Nice happy ending. Good wholesome one shot. I'm actually surprised it went so well.
Sep 18, 8:39 AM
#4

Offline
Dec 2016
4407
TheMangaManiac said:
No twist, no "spice" to it. I expected to see some "robotic" side to his upgrade, like he's TOO GOOD at something he's actually damaging the company or people around him.


Nico from Undead Unluck is good example of "I can't forget" story element.
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It’s time to ditch the text file.
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