 warning: this thing turned into a vent post somehow TT I apologise if someone is reading this for whatever the reason is also I really don't suggest reading this if you are here, the fact I wrote this here is already making myself self conscious /sobs - CUTE THINGS <33 PINK <3 RIBBONS <3 CURRY RICE <3 FRENCH FRIES <3 (thin fries best fries) - our bdays are only 2 days apart (mzk: aug 27th | me: aug 29th) fellow august virgos - childish demeanour but is actually mature (tho no one ever notices haha) - loves to tease others though doesn't like to be ridiculed :mzk_mad_hey: - loves giving people cool nicknames like mizuki with li'l bro haha, and they give me the same expression akito does - "If I want to connect with you, then I can’t part with my secret" - mizuki's entire fes card is just so me helpppp Solitus Utopia - "This place is full of my favorite things... and there's no one around to annoy me... so... why do I feel so lonely...?" - skips school often (and we failed the same subject for not coming to school, crazy -> English TT) (tho my parents aren't as supportive as mzk's (should be expected haha) don't have a lovely older sister either :<) - runs away from all problems :') (I kin all mzk songs but KITTY, man, my song literally) - again I kin kitty too much, from the running away to the unable to convey feelings to the IDC SEND ALL TROUBLES FLYING to the inferiority and impatience to the can't face life to the trapped in a cycle involving someone to the today yesterday unhappy forever to the contemplating the right answer to the passivity to the "what do I want to do?" - the useless question to the my answer lies within me to the (I stop) - way I dress is considered weird by others, I get questioned for my hair almost everyday π€‘ and my outfits gets all the stares in the world istg (it's either I dress like a 5 year old or "why are you wearing... xxx...? *wtf expression* (I like it so just shut up pls ^^) - also I can't stand walking outside without dressing up or doing my hair or a bit of makeup haha, it just makes me happier TT - values self expression, wants to express self, really feels the happiest when I'm expressing myself (tho I think I failed as apparently I look like some quiet physics student that gives off haruka or mafuyu vibes or smth smth what π I wish I could get rid of my glasses) - "I dress up with all the things I love" "This is an identity I’ll never yield" - probably due to how I'm always trying to become someone else/an idealised version of myself, I'm always stuck in an identity crisis - loved fashion design, making accessories etc, could sew very well too, but as I grow up people started finding my designs childish (they are not?? :sobs:) and now my skills are rusty hehe + lost my motivation ig - very indecisive when shopping, to pick out that one thing to buy I take photos of everything I want and eliminate them one by one LMAO, just don't wanna regret it later y'know- - loves shopping omg, especially for clothes  - "ain't I the cutest? ;D"  - LOVES IDOLS AND MAGICAL GIRLS (my childhood dreams TT - also when you're both a marin kinnie and a sajuna kinnie) - huge sucker for the villain with a redemption arc or has a soft spot for the main character (my childhood idol is hoshina utau, villain with a redemption arc in a magical girl anime so it's perfect :DD and she sings too wow - nana mizuki (the va, damn she's got mizuki in her name too-) was amazing <3) - named myself after some anime villain (juno - yuno gasai (do not question abt this one :hey:), amia - mia) - used to be very apathetic (middle school destroyed me) - once wished everyone on earth would disappear - was disappointed bc it's impossible TT people have to learn to muddle along and I was so sick of it, some people you just don't want to go along with their selfish means, or all that they do to you, or listen to all that they say about you, but you can't get rid of them, because such people will exist everywhere, so yea my solution was to just not go to school π€‘ - "I was doing my best but, the more I went to school, the harder it got." - really need some alone time :') 90% of people at school either pisses me off or makes me uncomfortable TT but I still like to and want to talk to people :hey: - had that one understanding guy friend in middle school who literally changed me, tho they're older and left leaving poor me looking .-. everyday (and they're literally rui omg with an equal amount of chaotic energy) - had a super empty moment in middle school (as well as grade 10) and grinded games, anime, manga, graphics design, digital art, staring at the ceiling (???), SLEEP, EVEN STUDYING, literally anything to escape that feeling, then some online and irl people saved me kinda (but unlike niigo they shoved me down a deeper hell) - p.s ss server people are a part of the online people who didn't shove me down a deeper hell, ty ss <3 - extroverted and knows pretty much everyone and could easily talk to anyone, but have like no friends irl help... and especially no close friends TT (I need my an-chan :begging:) - gonna ramble a bit - the way an stands up for mizuki ALWAYS (even if mizuki doesn't even really care the insults and stares) and is ALWAYS finding ways for mizuki to enjoy school/life more (making mizu join the school festivals/sports festivals or just for them to come to school), plus she's SUPER SUPPORTIVE AND INSPIRING and has the BEST mentality out of all pjsk (see let's study hard event), is just so sweet /sobs - desperately wants to have zero connection with my past (the part of me that people still sees to today), I'm different now, let me be free :') - bit of a vent moment but I feel like the fact that others still sees the old me and can't or don't want to change their minds because of that, is what makes me unable to move on. I really don't like it when people sees a little part of me as the entire me, y'know- also don't say you're this you're not that with so much confidence and denies everything I'm saying about myself, ik myself better than you :hey: - really, really tired of people's expectations - especially when being mentally ok and healthy seems like an expectation I'm supposed to meet - I'm trying my best to recover but people just expect me to snap back in an instance ;-; - although I still feel nostalgic about some parts of my past, just like mizuki with rui in middle school, or when their sister was still here, I would like to move on and live in the present - "All along, all along, I'd been longing for the dawn of a new day" - afraid of opening up, afraid of getting too close with people, etc friends - "You know, having given up, I've always kept this distance." - "I can cut myself off, smile, put distance between us, and I'll still be able to smile. I'll be able to smile, but..." - lowkey would like to open up, tell people about my past, or about myself, or my honest thoughts, and be accepted for it, BUT I ALSO HATE TALKING ABOUT IT SO AKJHFNKJHBS - "All along, I'd been wanting to tell you about the nights that I've lost" - lowkey kins mafuyu - mafuyu is my baby I get so happy when she finally starts opening up and gets stronger to stand up for herself and starts noticing her own feelings - I get so happy every time she smiles for real - puts on an awkward smile for all the right reasons and "ehehe"s everything away - "I forced down my heart's desires that I wanted to follow so I wouldn't spit them out. They built up inside my chest, like dregs, and clouded me" - mostly energetic and carefree, tho can be moody at times (and lowkey aggressive) - moody, but also calm (idk how it works but it does TT) is this what sanguine-phlegmatic means <-< mainly calm when I'm alone - acts by own principles - strong sense of boundaries (for certain things) - some things are just a straight up "no" from me - values others' boundaries - unless you are mafuyu and really needs that push - but sometimes I go with what others want and don't think about myself at all or turn indecisive and "uhhhh.." - hates insensitive and unfunny jokes (and knows when others are talking behind my back) tho in public I would just laugh it off and not think about it (that one time when an stood up for mizu :begging:) - rumours about me and my secrets spreads so easily wtf?? π It's literally impossible to stop them now. It's like people collectively created this persona for me that I really hate, but I can't do anything about it - notices the little things about people, like their moods, if they're overworked etc - likes cheering people up and offering interesting places to go as a group but sometimes people just aren't interested /sobs - cares a lot about friends - loves introducing my friends to other friends, likes meeting new people myself as well :) - brings stuff to share with people :D and very cool stuff too like huge bottle of strawberry flavored popcorn with cute pink ribbon tied by yours truly (tmi haha) - knows myself very well, knows my place, knows my own flaws (and I get kinda mad when people tell them to me, like I know okay? TT (reminds me of that one luka convo - "I don't think you should do that luka..... I'm already walking a tightrope as it is...")) - mainly an optimist, could be a realist, has some amount of pessimism, and has both inferiority and superiority complex :hey: - seems chaotic and provoking but is a peacemaker TT hate fights, really. (also prefers the mediator, follower role) - afraid of the future, doesn't even want to think about it - "I don't know where to start, I don't know what I've lost sight of, I'm not sure, so I don't move from this spot" - it takes a lot of energy to try to take that first step, to face the issue, to face the present, to face the future, it's so emotionally draining I end up running away 90% of the time :') - "It saps all your energy and you end up having to take so many breaks just to keep going" - really really admire someone like ena, who has the spirits to face things head on, who struggles so much but still doesn't want to give up - the way she gets mad at the people mizuki is annoyed at with way more emotion is just so funny and amazing LOL HELPP - "If my tears fall on that record I've been borrowing, go ahead and laugh at my pathetic self once more." - I just think niigo is amazing and has supported mizuki so so much, if I had to rank niigo characters it would be mafuyu > ena > kanade > mizuki (not slandering my kin LOL I love all niigo) mafuyu's generosity and sincerity, ena's determination and courage, kanade's sympathy and dedication, plus they're all trying so hard I love people who tries really hard, MIZUKI IS SO LUCKY, ME WHEN?? -  (<- me to kanade literally) (this reminds of kasane π i was gonna draw mizu in that scene <3 the "i will always be myself! :D" vs "i will always... be myself.......")- does not expect friendships to last forever tbh - tends to isolate myself when dealing with things + avoidance of all conflict/problems - loves making other people happy, putting a smile on their face makes me feel like I can actually do something that's not running away TT - wants to be seen as helpful/reliable/inspiring and as a result tends to push my problems aside or had to suffer in some way to help others - still unable to accept who I am (IN DENIAL π) damn this is super long |
NonoaMar 8, 1:58 AM
 now how to I start this xD - likes taking photos (of literally anything) as a way to remember the present :D - screenshots too ! and game pictures omg i'm that genshin photographer at this point xD - enthusiastic! but also clumsy :hey: - likes to affirm myself/cheering myself up :hey: x2 - "Well would you listen to that! I saved everyone without causing any trouble! You're pretty awesome, March 7th!" - got that "hmph! no one gets away with locking up MY memories" attitude (just sometimes, trust me TT) - counts with fingers (send help) i also do addition/subtraction with fingers π like idk how to do that without fingers it works too well - β¨ MADE UP SCENARIOS β¨ - huge imagination, imagines literally everything, tends to imagine things before i sleep too, imagined my past/present/future too many times - very forgetful, legit forgets what just happened 1 sec ago - this is just a theory of fu xuan's but - been through something extremely traumatic that march erased her memories to cope - for me i always forget the bad things instantly + has forgotten something important that even my parents said i must've lost my memories because it was too painful - doesn't remember childhood - “The only thing March 7th can choose to be is her current self, and the only thing she can look forward to is the future. She is both frightened and glad.” - likes to analyse myself (like my behaviours) and come up with theories of why my memory is bad etc. - optimistic! people don't really see this in me for some reason qwq but i'm def an optimist :D i'm actually so avoidant of negative feelings haha - "how could lightcone me be cuter than the actual me?" - THAT SHOPPING STAMP (i love shopping omg) - THAT PROUD STAMP - THAT THUMBS UP STAMP - ALL HER OTHER STAMPS       - we got similar looking rooms ngl - bunch of pictures on the walls, plushies everywhere (love her flower cushion aa) - love love love cute things, plushies, animals, pastels, sweets <3 - feels out of place a lot, doesn't really belong anywhere - smarter than y'all think :cool: - likes to wear a smile :D but is lowkey kinda scared inside - def would want to ignore that feeling and enjoy the moment - super avoidant of conflicts and negative feelings - gets really scared when someone is mad at me ngl TT - talks too much honestly :skull: especially irl everyone tells me i can never shut up lmao - have a hard time being serious when need to T^T - “Every time I finish sorting out my album and look out the window, I always want to take another photo... and even though I’ve already seen it a thousand times, I’m always happy to look at the stars.” - "March's weakness is that she likes to get involved in other people's business.. Perhaps that's also her strength" -Dan Heng - care about people and their business too much and strain/burden myself a lot of the time lmao - curious and impulsive which leads to invading other people's business sometimes (tho even if im not everyone comes to me anyways haha xD) - feels super happy whenever i get tons of guests (especially family and friends) over for lunch or something, it was my fave thing as a child haha (and one of the only things i remember fr TT) - worries too much about family and friends sometimes i end up seeming a bit crazy haha - emotions are important to me, manages to see people's emotions when they are hiding it - "I dont.. want to be alone" - flattery to make connection/get along/interact with others - risks health/wellbeing for others' acceptance - can't stand not talking to people haha, silence scares me lowkey :holdingbacktears: - “I get really bored when no one's talking to me. When we're on the Express, Himeko and Mr. Yang are pretty busy, but Dan Heng's usually free. He doesn't like chatting though…” - those guys who gives me one word replies omg π I just wanna chat how can I make friends with you guys :begging: - frustrated when someone like dan heng (absorbed in their own mental world) doesn't respond TT makes efforts for people like that to respond lol - loves meeting new people - scared of being disliked so presents myself in a way to avoid that - fears rejection - "Maybe my past isn't behind me, but in front of me. That's why I'm gonna keep going forward, one stop at a time... train or no train." - kinda random but i just love this quote of march aaaa <3 |
NonoaMar 25, 12:23 AM
 - a - b - c |
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