[trigger warning] i'm just gonna make a heavy topic

Oct 16, 2017 10:48 PM

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Oct 2017

no need to read/follow/respond

the top elements of my eating disorder (idk if i can rank them though) are:
1. isolation
2. jealousy, spite, revenge
3. control
4. elitism (weird)

the top things that make me not want to eat etc. are:
1. skinny friends
2. hearing people want to take me to a psych/hospital
3. hearing people say eating disorders are clear cut no debate BAD

things i'm actually afraid of happening to me because of my ED:
1. skin going grey again
2. heart palpitations again
3. not being able to handle a drink anymore (lol!)

Amethyst-OnyxOct 23, 2017 11:23 PM

Oct 17, 2017 6:32 AM

rareangel9

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May 2014

srry ik u said no need to respond but if u ever wanna talk about it u can always hmu ive dealt w the same in the past n i relate to a lot of this, esp the isolation + control and the things that make u not want to eat
have you gone to therapy? if not u shud rlly seek some place bc thats what helped me...like i hATED it so fking much n hated each session but its what made me recover in the end, and reminding myself of stuff i didnt want to happen to me if i kept loosing more weight, like hair loss for eg
sorry if responses werent welcome r smthing if u only wanted to vent but i jst wanted to say this, again u can always hmu if i wanna vent r smthing

Oct 17, 2017 6:09 PM

Amethyst-Onyx

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Oct 2017

i've been dealing w this stuff for more than 7 years now and it feels so stuck into my brain that no therapy will be able to help. it's like a protected and embedded thing in my brain and my heart that i don't wanna let go of. i guess in that case all i can do is make sure i can still get out of bed and go to uni and keep friendships and stuff which is hard. but i'm fine for now i think. thank you :*

Oct 18, 2017 11:26 PM

toxins

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Mar 2014

i had no idea you were going through all of this, and my heart goes out to you, i don't even know what to say, but i just wanted to let you know that im here for you in thought and prayer, and hoping for your recovery,

Oct 22, 2017 11:55 PM

Amethyst-Onyx

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Oct 2017

OOOMG why do people fuck with the foods that they know make up like 80% of my diet? i had these things that come in 96 calorie portions and someone fucking ate like a weird fraction of one and now i.... have to like.... throw it out or feed it to someone else cause i dont want a weird number i just want my classic safe 96 calorie portion JESUS

Oct 23, 2017 12:30 AM

Amethyst-Onyx

Offline

Oct 2017

alright crazy voices in my head, i fed it to my cats

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» wtheck toxins - Mar 12, 2023	0	by toxins »» Mar 12, 2023 3:40 PM
» wish i cud post pics from my saved pics here rareangel9 - Oct 17, 2017	0	by rareangel9 »» Oct 17, 2017 7:10 AM
» it is my turn to test out the bad words being uncensored skeletaldad - Oct 15, 2017	2	by Moonelia »» Oct 16, 2017 10:34 AM
» i wish more ppl would come here bc i toxins - Oct 16, 2017	0	by toxins »» Oct 16, 2017 9:35 AM
» can’t beliebe im using my old account for this Aisling-Nyan - Oct 15, 2017	4	by Aisling-Nyan »» Oct 16, 2017 7:47 AM

[trigger warning] i'm just gonna make a heavy topic

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