these are my feeling fill free to rate or comment

Jul 25, 2010 1:06 AM

Offline

Aug 2008

100

this is called my broken wish

My gentle wish is to stay
with you

When your around me
My heart pounds

When you touch me
I feel safe

When we kiss
I feel were connected

When were apart
I feel alone

When i saw you kissin her
I felt pissed

When i saw you with her
I felt hurt

You broke my heart you crushed my dreams
Now were done Go have fun!!!!!

Jul 26, 2010 9:07 PM

cappy

Offline

Apr 2008

203

not too bad, i have things i would say but i would like you to keep going with this and see where it goes. (i am referring to the style of your poems)

quick edit to this message if forgot to mention but if you ever feel you want to change something on this poem, don't hesitate to change anything. Trust me with my poems i am constentally editing thing every time i read them

Oct 25, 2010 6:11 PM

BlaqPanda

Offline

Aug 2008

100

thanks cappy

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these are my feeling fill free to rate or comment

More topics from this board

» In progress work, comments and criticism.

» few of my poems

» Collective poem

» Haiku

» Banners and cards.

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