| Main Characters, Villains, and General (F)laws 1. The more retarded a plan is, the more likely it is to work. (ex. Evangelion, Naruto) a. If a plan is talked about beforehand, it will never work. b. In the event that a plan is talked about beforehand, the entire plan will be scrapped moments before it is put into motion and will be replaced by an improvisational plan. This new plan has a 100% chance to succeed. c. Sometimes they simply make backup plans that are so kewl, kickass, lengendary, epic, etc that all other plans simply MUST fail. 2. In cooperation with the first law, if an antagonist has a plan it will fail. It may appear to succeed at first, but the end result will always be failure. 3. The main protagonist should preferably always be an orphan; otherwise a single-parent household will do. 4. The protagonist is not allowed to use his most powerful, unique ability until either a fellow protagonist is severely harmed or fake-killed, or the protagonist is essentially defeated. 5. There is always a lovable jerk and a hard-working, determined, and kind dude. The jerk gets the girl and somehow saves the day, while the hard-working kid gets ignored in the end or gets run over by a tank. 6. Characters who gain control of giant robots become gifted with the knowledge to utilize those robots, especially if the robots are designed from the characters' parents. (ex. Gundam) 7. The strength of the antagonist is always proportioned relatively to the length of the series. 8. Really good-natured protagonists have ridiculous appetites. (Dragonball Z) 9. Main characters and villains cannot be killed by filler characters. This is because main characters have plot protection from filler characters. In essence, no matter if they are, oh say, brutally stabbed multiple times and seem dead, they aren't really dead. Guess someone should have told that to those filler Arrancars, eh Ulquiorra? (ex. Bleach) a. in exceptional situations, this may happen, but only at the very last of the series (ex. Nabari no Ou) 10. Villains never have normal appearances, they are either butt-ugly monsters, or incredibly good-looking emos. Some exceptions are an amalgamation of both. (esp. InuYasha) a. The bad guy has fan girls. Unless Especially if he's a transvestite. 11. The main character is small and wimpy-looking, only to hold a tremendous secret power explained to him by a wise old person. 12. If a villain laughs his head off like a retard, no one will make fun of him; they might even turn the other way. (Bleach, Naruto) 13. The quicker someone dies off, the more likely they are not really dead. (ex. Bleach) 14. Getting stabbed multiple times only kills you if you are unimportant. Remember that, Kazuya! Just ask Ulquiorra. a. Additionally, unimportant characters may never initiate combat. If a character attempts to break this law, they are met with a harsh and quick defeat. 15. When a character performs an attack, they MUST yell out it's name, therefore giving their opponent the obvious advantage of knowing what they're going to do, but never doing what they can do to prevent or counter it. If they don't yell out the name, it doesn't count because that's cheating. a. This was first used in popular anime The Bible, in which the main character God, unleashes his signature move 'LET THERE BE LIGHT!' b. The louder said character shouts the name of an attack, the more powerful that attack will be. (ex. Dragon Ball Z) c. The stupider the name of the attack is, the more damage it will do (this effect works in reverse for unimportant characters). d. No matter the name of the attack, merely naming an attack increases its power tenfold. 16. No matter how long the preparation to an attack, and no matter how many spangly things are created, the preparation cannot be interrupted before it is complete. The attack is permitted to miss, however. (ex. Sailor Moon) a. Whether this is due to some unwritten warriors code or just stupidity, it is yet to be determined. b. Certain characters that exist solely to be either badass or to instruct the protagonist may temporarily distort this rule. (ex. Blue Dragon) 17. A character's power level is directly proportional with the amount of grunting they do (ex. Dragon Ball Z) a. Once a protagonist attains a certain power level or ultimate attack, they can never defeat an antagonist more than once using a power level or attack at or below this level. If the protagonist attempts to use an ultimate attack more than once, it will have absolutely no effect on the enemy. This does not apply to filler episodes. (ex. Naruto, Dragon Ball Z) 18. An antagonist can never use their full power or ultimate attack until they are extremely close to losing. 19. There must be at least one guy who can control (and is usually obsessed about) animals. (ex. Naruto). 20. All characters are allowed to jump and float in the air for obscenely long amounts of time, allowing the character more than enough time to have an internal monologue about the enemy's attack. a. While this allows a protagonist to always counter the attack, an antagonist is not allowed to counter, and must use this time to simply think about how powerful the protagonist's attack is. This does not apply if the protagonist is using an ultimate attack he has already used before. 21. The magical tools necessary to kill someone are commonplace. (ex. Death Note) 22. Internal monologues and/or long emotional conversations may never be interrupted, even if they take place in the middle of world-deciding battles. 23. When in doubt, scream loudly and sacrifice yourself to have no effect on the enemy. (ex. Dragon Ball Z, Naruto Shippuden) 24. If the protagonist has something everyone else has, the protagonist's is much more powerful and useful. (ex. Digimon, Pokemon) 25. The antagonist must dismiss the protagonist(s) as a minor annoyance, but never suspects them to have superpowers and might even go so far as to pass up the opportunity to kill or maim him/her on several occasions. (ex. Shaman King, Bleach, Naruto) a. For protagonists with exceptionally large egos, this rule can work the other way around, except for the fact that the protagonist still wins. (ex. Bleach, InuYasha) 26. There is no anime without the presence of at least one samurai. (ex. One Piece) a. Anime circulating around school life are not an exception (ex. Shugo Chara) 27. There must be a point at which the protagonist is shot down by a bullet, missile, or, in the case of the End of Evangelion, gigantic naked lady that wants to merge with the world. At this point, peaceful Latin music will play for many minutes as the protagonist (or his robot, in the case of Evangelion and the Gundam series,) falls to the ground in slow motion. 28. If a male character has pink hair, he is either homosexual or bisexual. This does not apply to the protagonist, unless it is a yaoi. No other hair colors apply. (ex. Szayel Apporo Granz of Bleach) 29. If a character's hair is hiding some disfiguring mark, laser beam, etc, no amount of force will move that characters hair until permitted. (ex. Descendants of Darkness, Marta Lualdi, Code Geass, Erementar Gerad) 30. You may not start owning the bad guy until the cool music starts (ex. Naruto, Bleach) 31. The more an enemy brags about easily owning the protagonist, the easier that enemy will be defeated. 32. By rules and standards of many fighting groups, a final showdown starts with a half hour staring contest. At this point the protagonist must use a series of flashbacks to remember how he/she got to this point. Spectators who may also be classified as secondary characters are also allowed to comment during this time. (ex. Bleach, DragonBall Z) 33. The protagonist is allotted a maximum of two special abilities that a. Nobody else has. b. He is unable to control. (ex. D N Angel) 34. The protagonist may power up using emotional memories until he is able to defeat the antagonist. 35. The protagonist is allowed to teleport large distances in order to save secondary characters from giant fucking monsters. (ex. Bleach, Inuyasha) 36. If the protagonist goes into a state of depression, his/her powers are revoked until he/she removes the depression. (ex. Bleach, Moyashimon, Kiki's Delivery Service) 37. The protagonist may show physical characteristics of exhaustion and wounds, but is not affected by them. In fact, the power of the protagonist rises as he becomes more exhausted. (ex. Bleach, YuYu Hakusho) However, this rule does not apply if an appendage is rendered useless. (ex. Dragonball Z) 38. Bandages heal everything, no matter how deep the wound, except if they lose a limb which is soon to be reattached, replaced, healed by a side character, or regrown. (Unless you are Sesshomaru) a. However, a powerful attack against characters will always cause them to bleed from the mouth. Punched in the gut? Blood escapes from the mouth. Stabbed in the shoulder? Blood in the mouth. (eg. Naruto, Bleach, Dragon Ball Z, One Piece, BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo) 39. If the antagonist is in a weakened state or transforming, protagonists may not harm him/her/it. Protagonists may only initiate combat with a villain when he/she/it is at full power. (ex. Dragonball Z) 40. Antagonists that seem too cool to be villains often end up turning into anti-heroes. (ex. Naruto Shippuden ,Bleach, Dragon Ball Z) a. Conversely, Secondary protagonists that seem too badass or powerful early in the the series will often end up turning to evil (lookin' at YOU Sasuke Uchiha!) or revealing that they were villains from the very beginning. b. The same can apply for secondary antagonists that seem too badass or powerful throughout the series will often end up being herald as a tragic hero (yep, lookin' at you Itachi Uchiha!) or revealing that they were heroes throughout the very beginning. c. If this secondary antagonist does not turn out to be a tragic hero, they will become the primary antagonist if the original primary antagonist dies. 41. Antagonist groups must be themed and in uniform. (ex. Naruto, Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist, Dragon Ball Z, Pokemon) 42. Kids who are good at chess can easily outsmart military minds (Code Geass, Yu-Gi-Oh!) 43. Both the protagonist and antagonist can wield incredibly large and heavy looking weapons despite possessing no muscle mass whatsoever. (ex. Naruto, Bleach, Final Fantasy 7) 44. The amount of damage to apparel is directly correlated to how much damage the character has taken, the power they have, and how pissed they are. (ex. Dragon Ball Z) 45. Very deep cuts or several gallons of blood loss are non-fatal unless the person is unimportant. (ex. Naruto, Rurouni Kenshin) 46. Arch-villains must send their important bad guys one by one only, to maximize their chances of defeat, instead of performing one major attack to crush the protagonists. Exceptions ( allowing 2 or 3 bad guys max ) may happen at the end of the season of a show. (ex.Sailor Moon) 47. No deal (or statement) is legally binding until a gust of wind (may or may not include, but not limited to debris, leaves or fallen flower petals) blows after the proclamation is made. But remember, if it is a humid day and there is an absence of the gust, then please do not hold the characters responsible (ex. Naruto) 48. If the title theme (generally the original theme) begins to play... dood, the bad guy never had a chance! 49. The death of a character is ABSOLUTELY sure if: a. They reached their goal. b. A second character has had the chance to converse with named person (preferably a woman, childhood friend or the closest comrade) c. An exclusive flashback is seen where all questions around named character are answered. d. Emotional background music plays. e. The episode is an one hour special. (Naruto) f. A last very important hint was given, making the other characters able of moving on. g. The character starts talking slower and softer until he/she gently closes his/her eyes. h. When eyes are closed another character starts crying or screaming hysterically. (ex. Code Geass) 50. the amount of weaponry a character is carrying is in no way related to the visible storage space on a person's body. 51. A person can be shot at with automatic assault rifle or rocket launcher or even smashed threw 3 mountains and have half of the last one fall on his/her head and come out uninjured but if when he/she is not prepared/powered up a small rock 2 inches in diameter thrown at his/her head by a normal person will put him/her in extreme pain and have a grapefruit sized bump on his/her head (ex. Dragonball Z) 52. When ever an antagonist is blasted, thrown, flung or propelled (non-fatally) in any other way into the distance so far that it can not seen they appear to be a star (ex. Pokemon, Super Smash Bros.) 53. Protagonists can instantly recover from exhaustion of half-a-day-long battle by simply declaring, "I want to become stronger". In addition, such a declaration also actually makes them stronger than they were at the beginning of the battle. (ex. Naruto Shippuden) 54. A technique cannot be used until the smoke or dust created by a previous technique has settled down, and the opponents are able to see each other clearly. This does not apply when the smoke or dust is intentionally used as a diversion, either by the user or the opponent. (ex. Naruto Shippuden) 55. If a Villain, who is extremly powerful, divides himself into more than 50 clones then they are incrediably easy to defeat. Taken from uncyclopedia.com |
DeceptikittyNov 2, 2009 1:58 PM
"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong"  |
| As much as this is true, everyone feel free to express your scientific opinions or even prove these wrong. Any and all opinions are welcome! |
| Life is like a toilet roll - when it's ending, you panic. |
| True, really true, dear:). So can science be funny. Good for school kids:)! |
| Correct me if I´m wrong but you seemed to have missed one or two (f)laws: 1) Every character is allowed to have a flashback, no matter how (un)important he/she/it may be to the story. 2) The more fan service, the bigger the popularity. (Note: This isn´t as much of a (f)law as it is a statement...) |
"Dream of nothing and wake to a dream come true."     |
| yes, this flashbacks can be really boring and useless, it is a cliche per exelance! Most by unimportant characters they die in the same episode:]. |
| I know I'm 7 years behind on this one, but this is brilliant. |
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