DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD All opinions about first chapter can be made in the other thread, however, we're NOT changing anything. All the editors have already spent a LOT of time revising the scripts, and the artists are already starting. This script is done and finalized. -Staff of Chapter 1- Directors
Storyboard doodz
Artists
Pages 1-10 Page 1 Vincent Standing alone in misery, head down, emo Black Page 1. Vincent– I want to go back… Vincent lifts face a bit, can’t see his eyes but you see the scar that goes across his face with a tear rolling down his face 2. Vincent– ...I want Sherri.... Page 2-3 -Chapter Cover- Page 4 3. Vincent – Leaving AO military headquarters thinking to himself- Finally, training is over and I got my pilot’s license. 4. Vincent- Most importantly… 5. Vincent – smiles I can go home… looks up at a butterfly passing by Page 5-6 6. -no dialogue, just images- (POV: Osmond: You see a folder in his hand labeled “Project 24229” Then he walks into a room used to observe things through one way glass. There behind the glass you see a toddler around 2-4 years old smiling with the corpse of freshly dead monkeys that are all bloody. POV: Third Person: Osmond as a dark figure, except for his glasses and his smile. Page 7 7.Vincent – Running out of his house down the street – Shit, shit, I’m late! 8.Sherri – Running on the opposite side of the road – Whaaaaaaa…. They both meet at the intersection where they both turn. As they run next to each other they gradually start to race each other in a hyper way. They race to school where Sherri wins. They then realize school is closed. 9. Sherri – Whaaa? …It’s closed? Page 8 10. Vincent – Looks at watch – Wait. It’s 5:30, not 6:30… 11. Vincent – Arghh… I completely forgot about day light savings… 12. Sherri – Looks at watch –That’s weird… my watch says it’s 5:30 13. Vincent – Looks at her watch – No Sherri, it’s says… 6:30… 14. Sherri – Really?! I guess I can’t read clocks. Page 9 15. Sherri - … VINCENT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?!?!?! 16. Sherri – I THOUGHT YOU WERE COMING BACK ON THE 25th!!! 17. Vincent – umm… today’s the 25th… 18. Sherri - Whaaaaaaaa??? But isn’t the first day of school tomorrow? 19. Vincent – Sherri. We’re at school right now. 20. Sherri - … 21. Sherri – WHAAAAAAAAAA???? Page 10 They both sit at the gate 22. Sherri – I can’t believe I forgot you were coming back today Sherri’s face enters a pouty state 23. Sherri – I was gonna throw you… a really… big… fun… party… Sherri’s on the verge of tears 24. Vincent – Hey, hey, you and me are enough for a party, right? 25. Sherri – Smiles with tears in her eyes |
melancholyMay 25, 2009 12:57 PM
| Pages 11-20 Page 11 26. Sherri - *turns away and blushes* We have a whole hour by ourselves…. I haven’t seen him all summer!!! I had all these things I wanted to tell him… and now that I’m with him, I have no clue what to say!!!!! *turns around* S-S-so How was camp??? 8D ? 27. Vincent – S-Sherri… it’ not camp 28. Sherri - WHAAAAAAAA??? outside, forcing a smile O-oh really? 29. Vincent – Well… Page 12 Vincent looks up to the sky 30. Vincent – It’s not so easy getting a pilot’s license, you know? I mean, you have to master the maneuvers for the ARMS, learn basic tactics, I mean, memorizing the basic flanking tactics used in past wars is a bit tough, it’s all left, right, Fire in this direction… 31. Sherri – Wha….. 32. Vincent – And thus… Sherri has fallen asleep|| 33. Sherri – zzzz… Page 13 Vincent romantically looks at Sherri Sherri sleep stretches her arms and knocks out Vincent, they’re both asleep Shadow of Sid || Page 14-15 Flashback of Sherri as a baby: 34. Doctor1- Doctor Osmond’s, your intuition proved correct - 24229 was a success! 35. Doctor2- Indeed. In this case, we should initiate the connection to the neural network. We have to know if her brain can handle the strain of the connection. 36. Osmond- Agreed. Everything is going according to my plans. Proceed to Phase 4 of the development process. Osmond looks to the ceiling, Sherri wakes up/ over lay|| Page 16 37. Sherri – Wakes up finding herself in a classroom – WHAAAAAAAAAAAA??? 38. Sherri – How did I get here? looks around 39. Sherri - w-wait!! Was any of that real? Was I sleeping while I was asleep??? 40. Teacher – Sherri is there something you want to share with us? 41. Sherri – I think I was sleeping while I was asleep. 42. Teacher – You shouldn’t be sleeping in class… 43. Sherri- uhh.. Yes ma’am Page 17 44. Sherri – hmmm… Vincent was in my dreams I wonder if he came back today?.... wait… what day is it?? 45. Trudy – pops out of no where- OHMYGOD Sherri, are you and that hot punk guy going out?????? 46. Sherri – Whaaaa? 47. Trudy – The guy who carried you in. 48. Sherri – Whaaaa? What punk guy??? 49. Trudy _ He was really HOTT! 50. Sherri _ Whaaaaa? 51. Teacher – All right guys, class started, let’s do attendance - Calls student names in ABC order and they stand up saying here Page 18 52. Sherri _ Oh yeah, what was I thinking about??? 53. Sherri - … 54. Sherri – TRUDY, WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY????? 55. Trudy - the 25th. 56. Teacher – Vincent Clyde? …Vincent? 57. Sherri – OH MY GOD! VINCENT!!!! || Page 19 POV: Vincent: Black panel, view of sky and kid with stick, Black panel, blinking, sky and kid again POV: Third: Kid poking Vincent with stick 58. Vincent – Gets up- Ahh! We slept in… outside school… GET UP SHERRI! 59. Vincent – Looks down, No Sherri – Sherri? || Page 20 Back to class, Sherri next to teacher explaining 60. Sherri – See, I thought I dreamed I was sleeping but I was actually sleeping! And… uhhh… i.. and Vincent were early… no we were late… uh.. but we thought we were early… no wait… we thought we were late…ehhh.. ummm… sleep…. 61. Vincent – Opens door and runs in ¬– SHERRI! YOU’RE HERE!! 62. Teacher – Are you Vincent? 63. Vincent – Yes ma’am 64. Teacher – You’re marked tardy…. Next time get a better friend to make a cover story Looks at Sherri 65. Vincent – Yes ma’am|| |
melancholyMay 13, 2009 8:52 AM
| Page 21-31 Page 21 Vincent and Sherri sit down as the teacher continues attendance. 66. Teacher – Pauses for a second, looks amazed – Umm… Leonardo Alexander Theodore Lysander the 3rd … Jr? 67. Sid – Stands up – Here. 68. Sid – But you can just call me Sid - Eyes say I’LL cut you if you dare say anything! Laughing from back of class room slowly gets louder. 69. Trudy – AHAHAHAHTHEODOREHAHAHAHAHHATHE3RD HAHAHHAHAJRHAHAHAHHAH 70. Sid – I’ll cut you!!! Page 22 *in the lunch room* 71. Trudy – OMG Sid is soooo hot!!!! 72. Trudy – You two would look SO cute together!!! You should SOO go out with him. 73. Trudy – Kissing a guy with a lip ring is unbelievable! 74. Sherri – Trudy, you never dated a guy with a lip piercing… 75. Trudy- Shhh… Page 23 76. Trudy – Plus, he might have a piercing somewhere else if you know what I mean.- Raises eyebrows 77. Sherri – No, I don’t know what you mean… Trudy rolls her eyes and whispers in Sherri’s ear while she blushes 78. Sherri – They can get it down there?!!?!? 79. Trudy – Yup! 80. Sherri – DOESN’T IT HURT TO PEE?!?!?! Page 24 81. Sid – Walks over to Sherri and Trudy – Hey where’s the vending machine? 82. Sherri - *blushes and thinks about his…Johnny* Show frames of Sid’s 83. Sherri – It’s aaaaaaaahhhhhh …. @______@!!!! 84. Sherri - DON’T HURT YOURSELF WHEN YOU PEEE!!! *runs off to class* Bell rings Page 25 Sherri is in class next to Vincent 85. Sherri: o_o 86. Vincent: uh… Sherri o_o? Is there something wrong? 87. Sherri: *turns to Vincent all o_o* 88. Vincent: …sherri ? 89. Sherri: W-well y-you see i-it’s just that… *asks for Vincent’s ear and whispers something in it* Page 26 90. Vincent: WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!?!?!!? 91. Teacher: … Mr. Vincent Clyde… I understand that this is a very difficult question, but there’s no need to jump out of your seat like that. 92. Vincent: *shaky* U-uhhhh sorry @___@ 93. Teacher: …Mr. Clyde, would you like to come up and try this question? 94. Vincent: x_____x!!! Page 27 96. Vincent: @__@ *I wasn’t paying attention at all during class!! WTF IS THIS!?!? Oh wait… if the equation is set up like this, then I can assume that…. Vincent scribbles all over the wall, a long ass equation 97. Vincent: *all cherry bubbly and 8D ~* 98. Teacher: Mr. Clyde… it’s impressive that you wrote all of that but…. You only needed to find X…. Page 28 Transition into afternoon, walking home 100. Sherri – THERE ARE SO MANY Xs ON MY PAPER!!! *she has a 13%* 101. Vincent: Really? But look!!! 102. Vincent: You did 8% better than you usually do!!! 103. Sherri – B-but what did you get q___q?? 104. Vincent: *shows 100%* 105. Sherri: … *eats it up* 106. Vincent: ….D< Page 29-31 107. Vincent: Well you know what!!!! *grabs Sherri’s cellphone and starts eating it, well, nawing on it, while laughing* 108. Sherri: HEYYY THAT COST A LOT *tackles Vincent* *they both fall on the ground, Sherri is messing with Vincent’s hair, Vincent is eating Sherri’s cellphone, they’re both laughing like hell tho XD* *we need one whole page of a picture of them laughing together* |
| Pages 32-40 Page 32 109. Vincent and Sherri go into Vincent’s house Sherri – It’s so empty in here! 110. Vincent is about to enter the kitchen when he hears the voices of his sister and mom inside Sana – Oooo… the Jacuzzi will be soooo nice! I want a really big one! 111. Mom- Yeah… it’ll be really really relaxing, especially after work. Page 34 112. Mom- Hell, with all that money I won’t even have to work anymore. 113. Sana – How much money are we getting when Vincent dies? 114. Mon _ I don’t know, like, 80 thousand dollars. 115. Sana – Well then I hope he dies fast then! 116. Sana – I think a shopping spree would be nice too! I need more shoes. 117. Mom – Ooooo that’s a good idea! Page 35 118. Vincent - *interrupts* YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT HERE 119. Mom – Oh look!!! It’s Sherri~~~!! 120. Sana – SHERRI~~~~!!! 121. Vincent - -_- oh fine just ignore me… 122. Sherri – takes cake out of bag I made cake. Page 36 123. Sana – walks in CAAAAKE?! 124. Vincent – No! Your not included. 125. Sana – well, without me, it’s not a party, is it? 126. Sana – Oh yeah, Sherri, didn’t you say you wanted to throw a big welcome back party for Vincent? *Sherri is shocked* *Sana takes cake* 127. Sana- Mommy! Sherri made cake! Skipping to the kitchen with the cake in hand. Page 37 128. Vincent – Sherri, why are you crying so much? It’s not like you. 129. Sherri – I don’t know… I missed you a lot this summer… 130. Sherri – And I wanted to give you a really big fun party, but I forgot you were coming back today… 131. Vincent – Sherri, any party you give me is a big party. 132. Vincent- Now, let’s go to the kitchen before my mom and Sana eat it all. Page 38-39 (all collapsed on to 2 pages) Vincent and Sherri go to kitchen to find that Sana + Mom didn’t touch the cake at all. Mom is in the bathroom. 133. Vincent – Whoa, you didn’t gobble it all down! 134. Sana – Shut up! And just cut the first slice! *Plus mom said she’d kill anyone who touches the cake when she’s in the bathroom.* 135. Vincent – What? 136. Sana – Cut the cake! Vincent cuts the cake. 137. Sherri – Oooo let me feed it to you! Takes slice, Vincent blushes 138. Sherri – Slams cake in Vincent face- BAM! 139. Sherri – I’ve always wanted to do that. 140. Vincent – Oh yeah!!?!?!?! Throws cake at Sherri, but she dodges and it hits Sana. 141. Sana – Oh! No you didn’t! They all start throwing cake at each other. 142. Mom – Enters room – Noooo! Stop wasting all that good cake! Somebody throws cake at her face 143. Mom – Who did that? Picks up slice They all start throwing cake at each other. Page 40 144. Vincent – *narrating* I wish moments like this could last forever… 145. Vincent – Me…Sherri…even Sana and mom… just smiling as if there’s not a care in the world 146. Vincent – But in reality… well. Reality just doesn’t wanna play that way. |
| EPIC =D, i approve 100% |
| ok another q. how big is the paper gonna be tht were drawing on? like a computer piece of paper or like the size of ur average manga book kinda sized paper? need to kno b4 i start doin anything. |
| lolololololololol i let my friend read the script n shes..... M- "OMG IS THERE A SAD ENDI NG??? IS IT GONNA BE LIKE SOCRATES IN LOVE????? *OPENS BOOK* WHAAT 'MY AKI DIED'" S- "hahah it IS like socrates in love.... hmmm... i should let lisa borrow tht..." M- "NOOOOOOO! I WANT A HAPPY ENDING LIKE CLANNAD MAKE HER COME BACK TO LIFE... WAIT IS SHE GONNA DIE... HUUUH?HUHHHH?HUHHHHHH?" hahha dis was amusing |
 |
dancingdevils said: ok another q. how big is the paper gonna be tht were drawing on? like a computer piece of paper or like the size of ur average manga book kinda sized paper? need to kno b4 i start doin anything. 8 x 11, which is computer paper size XD cuz it's gonna start off as a webcomic and we'll eventually resize it so it's manga book sized |
| ~clap clap clap~ Bravo!!!! |
| I'm not sure if Helen has any preferences, but any specific program for outlining? ;A; Also, are we planning on putting the manga on SmackJeeves-- that might get it more publicity~ |
Keikirai said: I'm not sure if Helen has any preferences, but any specific program for outlining? ;A; Also, are we planning on putting the manga on SmackJeeves-- that might get it more publicity~ uhhhh... it doesn't matter? XD i'm sure she'll use photoshop :] but i mean, all the art will look different so it shouldn't matter if the outline looks different as well :P i was considering putting it on smackjeeves and then having a domain that redirects do smackjeeves XD it'll also be easier to upload everything ^^ but we'll see~ oh btw, we're not gonna do any big advertising for the manga until school starts. it's REALLY hard to advertise stuff over the summer. and trust me, when i advertise, i ADVERTISE. [hence international night, dreamgirls, video game tournament, etc...] |
| Tool of choice: Photoshop and Sai. But it doesn't matter like Lisa said xD Haha!! But no worry, Sai also do psf document xD ((i'm a sai user)) If anyone need photoshop or sai, contact me and I can help them get it and shiiieett~ as for advertisement, pff, Lisa can do that xD Haha~ She's like a beast!!! |
     |
| btw, do you want me to scan what I got for sherri and vincent ref? |
|
| umm. am i supposed to sketch the backrounds too. or am i just drawing the characters? and also can somebody upload a pic of the characters. i missed vincents character rundown. so idk wat he rly looks like... im working around him for now but i just need pics of sherri, vincent, school uniform and if there are any choices for the side characters..even though ive already kinda drawn wat i thought they should look like in the pages...so yeah. i wana get the details right and dun wana forget anything. plzz someone HELP me. pics or websites would help. :)))))) (sry...i should kno these things... -_-. bleaaah) |
lilbang said: btw, do you want me to scan what I got for sherri and vincent ref? definitely!! i'd love to see what you've got 8D [tho not too many artists go on mal, so no one will really see them til monday...] dancingdevils said: umm. am i supposed to sketch the backrounds too. or am i just drawing the characters? and also can somebody upload a pic of the characters. i missed vincents character rundown. so idk wat he rly looks like... im working around him for now but i just need pics of sherri, vincent, school uniform and if there are any choices for the side characters..even though ive already kinda drawn wat i thought they should look like in the pages...so yeah. i wana get the details right and dun wana forget anything. plzz someone HELP me. pics or websites would help. :)))))) (sry...i should kno these things... -_-. bleaaah) well~~ i drew the backgrounds but it's really all your choice XDD jus don't go all out with it. if it'll take you a second or 2 to draw the background, i don't see why not XD plus panel art is supposed to be reference~ as for character designs, we'll go over all that 'shiet' on monday XD |
| You like saying "shiet" don't you xD Haha, i'm a bad influence >_<!! Yea, I'll just scan some shiet for you guys and then you can can flame bash how bad it is or something xD Haha! btw, whoever have to line or tone my shiet....- Haha, i'm sorry xD Imma go mad crazy on the first few pages xD I Think imma make a topic how to do all those shiet for artist who are new in this kind of area <3 |
|
| but i thought tht the pages were due monday?!! o_0 |
| Panel artist, you, your thingy is due on the sunday but deadline is on monday. I think that's how it roll? I'm not sure myself too xD Haha!! |
|
| wehhh...ahhhhhhg. soo much to do by sunday. :) but i love drawing and this is a nice challenge i always needed a purpose for my art so i could make it better. :) heres my chance. :) i hope u all like it wen im done wif it. |
dancingdevils said: but i thought tht the pages were due monday?!! o_0 oh... i put on the calendar to get it done by sunday but you're not turning it until monday during lunch XD so technically they're not due til monday |
dancingdevils said: umm. am i supposed to sketch the backrounds too. or am i just drawing the characters? and also can somebody upload a pic of the characters. i missed vincents character rundown. so idk wat he rly looks like... im working around him for now but i just need pics of sherri, vincent, school uniform and if there are any choices for the side characters..even though ive already kinda drawn wat i thought they should look like in the pages...so yeah. i wana get the details right and dun wana forget anything. plzz someone HELP me. pics or websites would help. :)))))) (sry...i should kno these things... -_-. bleaaah) u do no tht ur only drawing stick figures rite? it doesnt matter wat they look like |
| |
queenwafflegirl said: dancingdevils said: umm. am i supposed to sketch the backrounds too. or am i just drawing the characters? and also can somebody upload a pic of the characters. i missed vincents character rundown. so idk wat he rly looks like... im working around him for now but i just need pics of sherri, vincent, school uniform and if there are any choices for the side characters..even though ive already kinda drawn wat i thought they should look like in the pages...so yeah. i wana get the details right and dun wana forget anything. plzz someone HELP me. pics or websites would help. :)))))) (sry...i should kno these things... -_-. bleaaah) u do no tht ur only drawing stick figures rite? it doesnt matter wat they look like candice is doing concept art too OH YEAH. for concept art, you just draw the characters. for panel art, you just draw stick figures and a simple background if you want, as long as everything is simple |
| I'm missing page 1 and 3. Do you accidently have it? |
|
| lawl you can BS page 1, cuz i like...BS'd it lolol page 2-3 is supposed to be a wide cover page, that's why theres no page labeled '3' lol in fact, there shouldn't be a page 2 o_O;;; |
| Lol, what? Oh well, We can discuss this tomorrow xD Haha~ |
|
malandrain said: Is this the format that all the chapters have to be written in because I am use to a rather different style of doing it. I'm not saying its bad, but I would like ot know if it was originally written in a different format. the format of all the chapters were written in that style so the artists can correspond with it :/ |
| I was supposed to do concept art for 10 pages, Jon only gave me 9... I'm guessing the 10th was given to whoever was supposed to do the 10 before mine? |
malandrain said: So does that mean it is not needed to mention the number of panels per-page or the actions each character is taking or do we only mention the dialog and small actions? the panels per page is up to the panel artist. That's kinda why we have panel artists... and the interpretation of actions is obvious because of the dialogue.... but all the actions are up to the panel artist. The panel artist should understand the situation, and we didn't coordinate all their actions to the last detail. Again, it's all for the panel artist to interpret. We review the panel art before drawing the concept art to make sure everything is up to par with the script. lawl, don't doubt my orgainizational skillz :P i've got everything covered and under control MisaMisa_Amane said: I was supposed to do concept art for 10 pages, Jon only gave me 9... I'm guessing the 10th was given to whoever was supposed to do the 10 before mine? oh! that's because candice got an extra page because there's one scene where sherri and vincent are laughing with each other and it's a picture that lasts 2 whole pages lol...but you're pretty much on the right track :] thanks so much for being SO dedicated! |
melancholyMay 22, 2009 6:27 AM
| i drew and scanned some of the pages that tyree was supposed to do... cept i did it a little out of order cuz i didn't know what to do with 15-16 @_@ i'm a little stumped lol... it's hard to do this without the panel art cuz i gave that to tyree lol... |
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