| (puts on glasses, pours a cup of tea, moves stack of books by Sappho, Kinsey, and the Kama Sutra) Good afternoon, my friends. This is Dr. Andrei Mazenov M.D.'s office for Romantic Advice & Love Studies. I mainly specialize in helping out otakus and GLBT individuals, but I am trained in other areas of looooove. I have studied under such great masters as the Swedish "Pleasureman" Günther, Dr. Icchan from Angelic Layer, Turkish pop singer Tarkan, Rod Stewart, Kaji from Neon Genesis Evangelion, Dr. Tran, and of course Saturday Night Live's "The Ladies' Man". If anyone here has any serious questions about love, sex, romance, and relationships, I'm not the perfect master and I don't have all the questions... but I can definitely help! (and you guys can help ME with mine) |
AndreiJul 11, 2008 5:49 PM
Reverend Andrei Mazenov  92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
| I need some help... There is this guy and he and me will play flirt. We've been friends for a while and I like him and I don't know if he likes me. He goes to my school and I don't want to ruin our friendship.. and I think he likes me cause he looks at me ALL the time What do I do? |
| Hmmm... this is a pretty common one, but I would have to know more about how you guys flirt/what he says... Here's what you should do: keep up the playful flirting, with a bit more teasing to it, and maybe some slight physical contact (brush your hand across his, put your hand on his shoulder)... and see how he reacts to that. |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
| I'm horribly awkward and become really shy when talking to a girl in RL if i think she is even a little bit pretty.... Whatever should i do oh great one? |
| All in the real world I have a Gf and she likes anime, manga ,and games like me but she hate Light from Death Note when I love him. But to the main thing is she done with high school while I'm still in school what to do. |
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I'm horribly awkward and become really shy when talking to a girl in RL if i think she is even a little bit pretty.... Whatever should i do oh great one? I feel you, brother. I've been in your situation; you're like "Dang, she's hot, but what does a lame ass dork like ME have to offer such a nice girl like her?" You see, the fact of the matter is, such things are self-fulfilling prophecies. You end up failing because you tell yourself you will. Why be afraid? It only makes you lock up, making you come across as awkward and wussy. Listen: do you become shy and lock-up around other guys? What about women you're not interested in? If not, then why should you do the same around attractive women? They're still people like you and everyone else! When meeting a woman, your main goal should NOT be to seek her approval, but to meet and get to know a new person! If you approach things in this way, with a good bit of practice, you should be able to go about and meet women with ease. Have fun! All in the real world I have a Gf and she likes anime, manga ,and games like me but she hate Light from Death Note when I love him. But to the main thing is she done with high school while I'm still in school what to do I'm... not quite sure what you're asking here, but you're in a better position than I was with my last girlfriend: she hated the fact that I liked anime, manga, and table-top RPG's and discouraged me from taking part in them! Needless to say, we're not together anymore... |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
MUCH? ^_^ |
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| Isn't that a new Mike Myers comedy? |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
Andrei said: Isn't that a new Mike Myers comedy? Yeah, I think. This thread reminded me of it, that's why. lol |
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| DEFINE LOVE. |
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| ^oops sorry my bad xD cap=emphasis for me not yelling xD |
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| I personally like Wikipedia's definition: Love represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states. As an abstract concept love usually refers to a strong, ineffable feeling towards another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts. |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
| This might be hard for you to answer cause you don't know me... but heck, I'll just say it anyway. Why do all the stoner guys I fall for become douches? And in the end, the only nice guys I attract are the ones who aren't ANYWHERE near my ideal type of guy... and I don't think I've ever experienced real love, so I'm pretty insecure about love and my looks. |
| Why do you only fall for stoner guys? LOL... Just messing with you, I'm a stoner myself =P You'll have to explain your situation further though... perhaps your standards are too high? Also, you mention that you are "insecure" about love and yourself. Let me tell you something: that will get you NOWHERE. Insecurity---->Lack of confidence to approach guys/girls---->Not taking action---->Further loneliness and frustration---->MORE INSECURITY. Be the person you WANT to be, don't be so unsure of yourself; break from the vicious cycle! |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
Andrei said: Insecurity---->Lack of confidence to approach guys/girls---->Not taking action---->Further loneliness and frustration---->MORE INSECURITY. Be the person you WANT to be, don't be so unsure of yourself; break from the vicious cycle! Good advice~ Thank you! I'll try to bring out myself more confidently, but it's harder in RL than it is on the interwebz. |
| Alright... here is the deal. I have been very good friends with my crush for over a year, and I have liked her almost a month after I met her. I don't say I love her, because love is two-sided. I have tortured myself mentally and broken other girls hearts over her, but I don't naturally flirt with her. She says I am really sweet and that she admires many things about me and that I have always been there for her, and she even says that we have each other. She has incredibly good intuition (damn it) and I don't dare risk ruining our friendship. I am loyal to her, even though I have gone out with others. I am not in true infatuation with her, but she is the one I wish to be with. Still, I know I have to wait until I can completely know she feels the same way. I wish to know if I should stay loyal to her, which includes at least testing relationships with other girls, or not. |
| Some will come, some will go Some will be wrong, some will be right Some cannot think, while others will know But I will always be your light |
I have tortured myself mentally and broken other girls hearts over her, but I don't naturally flirt with her. Two questions: 1) WHY? 2) WHY? For one thing, no girl should be giving you mental hell unless you're already in a relationship with her- then it's her duty XD! You've also turned down other women for someone who's not giving you any results. Why? You sacrificed potential happiness for something that might never happen? And for that matter, why don't you flirt with her? I mean, obviously, you can't be too forceful/desperate and you got to be natural/laid-back, but you still gotta flirt to show "I'm looking for something more than being your little buddy"... you gotta tease, you gotta banter, you gotta joke around. She says I am really sweet and that she admires many things about me and that I have always been there for her, and she even says that we have each other. She has incredibly good intuition (damn it) and I don't dare risk ruining our friendship. Dr. Love has a nasty diagnosis: you're stuck in the FRIEND ZONE, my boy. The dreaded, painful FRIEND ZONE. Man's worst nightmare. But I have the medicine... Hear me out: I wish to know if I should stay loyal to her, which includes at least testing relationships with other girls, or not. Don't "stay loyal" to her, if by being "loyal" you mean follow her around like a blind puppy dog, hoping for something that probably ain't gonna come. Here is the cure to your Friend Zone worries: Move on. Look into other women, actually look for happiness where you can get it, not just where you WANT to get it. Ironically, this possibly can work in your favor, because it indirectly shows you are confident and that you have something to offer. Let me tell you a story: I used to pine over this one girl. She rejected me, and it really hurt. However, I eventually moved on and got into a relationship with another girl. 2 years later, while I was single again, my old crush and I were chilling in my room after seeing a movie together, and one thing led to another, and... heheheheh, well, yeah. I got'er in the end, by just going with the flow. |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
| *looks around*... *feels aquard*... Oh, well... usualy I'm the "doctor" for all my friends and I never asked for love advice before...it might be fun :P So, here it goes: This is about a long distance relationship... Have we seen each other in real life until now? No. Have we heard our voices? Yes, we spoked a few times on the phone or skype. We're in the same country but far way from each other. I "met" him on the net on an anime club and started talking to him. At that time he was suffering because he lost his girlfriend and I was his support for a few months... We talked and talked... and I kinda started like him more than a usual "net friend". I though that we are very similar, frightenly similar sometimes XD. A friend of mine who spoke to him for a while told me that she would go visit him and I got kinda gealous +_+ so I told him that I'm falling for him. He accepted my feelings and we started spending more time together... BUT, after a while the ex-girl reapeared and he was like the first time I met him -> depressed... I didn't understand why he even talke to her... I mean she hurt him for more that 4 years and he still talk with her when she's in the mood for him... He's like her puppy, although he tells me she's rather stupid sometime >.> Anyway, that wouldn't be the only problem. At the beginning he said that he will come this summer to my city and we'll go to the mountain together etc... My mom's sister lives in his town and she decided that we should visit her soon and I told him and his reaction was exactly what I didn't expect, meaning he said he's afraid of meeting new people and to meet someone he MUST know that the person coming to him really loves him... T_T wtf? I can't love him just like that, because we're chatting all day... So I took a long break from him at the moment, and I really don't know what to do =_= And it's not like I can't find someone here...maybe I'm not prepared...I don't know *scratches head*... I've been alone in the past 3 years. Why? Because I had my heart broken >_> The short story would be that I fell in love with a classmate in 9th grade but I couldn't tell him because he was in love with a friend of mine (also a classmate) so I decided that my love hasn't a chance and I really wanted to see him happy...so I tried to help him win her heart. They hard a short relationship from which he got heart broken (and my heart was broken because his was). After 3 years I had the courage to tell him about my true feelings and he said he's happy to hear it; the next day he left the country with his family and never called back, never contacted me again...but he's still talking to the girl who broke his heart.... <_< *sigh* Well, I don't know if I'm asking for any advice... I mean I know myself more than you do and I could decide what's right to do...but I just wanted to tell what's bothering me XD... I may come back ^^ |
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This is about a long distance relationship... Have we seen each other in real life until now? No. Have we heard our voices? Yes, we spoked a few times on the phone or skype. We're in the same country but far way from each other. I "met" him on the net on an anime club and started talking to him. At that time he was suffering because he lost his girlfriend and I was his support for a few months... We talked and talked... and I kinda started like him more than a usual "net friend". I though that we are very similar, frightenly similar sometimes XD. A friend of mine who spoke to him for a while told me that she would go visit him and I got kinda gealous +_+ so I told him that I'm falling for him. He accepted my feelings and we started spending more time together... BUT, after a while the ex-girl reapeared and he was like the first time I met him -> depressed... I didn't understand why he even talke to her... I mean she hurt him for more that 4 years and he still talk with her when she's in the mood for him... He's like her puppy, although he tells me she's rather stupid sometime >.> Anyway, that wouldn't be the only problem. At the beginning he said that he will come this summer to my city and we'll go to the mountain together etc... My mom's sister lives in his town and she decided that we should visit her soon and I told him and his reaction was exactly what I didn't expect, meaning he said he's afraid of meeting new people and to meet someone he MUST know that the person coming to him really loves him... T_T wtf? I can't love him just like that, because we're chatting all day... So I took a long break from him at the moment, and I really don't know what to do =_= Just move on. It sucks, definitely... but this sounds like far more of a headache than it should be. Sorry to hear about the guy who left the country though; that is heartrending. |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
Andrei said: Just move on. It sucks, definitely... but this sounds like far more of a headache than it should be. Yup...that's what i was thinking ^^ I saw that you gave the definition of love from wikipedia... even if you like that definition, how would your personal definition for love sound? That wiki definition is far too theoretical and it lacks feelings... I think that when someone defines love he/she sould speak from experience; in my opinion the word love shouldn't be found in the dictionary 'cause that wouldn't make anyone understand what it really means. |
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Andrei said: I have tortured myself mentally and broken other girls hearts over her, but I don't naturally flirt with her. Two questions: 1) WHY? 2) WHY? For one thing, no girl should be giving you mental hell unless you're already in a relationship with her- then it's her duty XD! You've also turned down other women for someone who's not giving you any results. Why? You sacrificed potential happiness for something that might never happen? And for that matter, why don't you flirt with her? I mean, obviously, you can't be too forceful/desperate and you got to be natural/laid-back, but you still gotta flirt to show "I'm looking for something more than being your little buddy"... you gotta tease, you gotta banter, you gotta joke around. She says I am really sweet and that she admires many things about me and that I have always been there for her, and she even says that we have each other. She has incredibly good intuition (damn it) and I don't dare risk ruining our friendship. Dr. Love has a nasty diagnosis: you're stuck in the FRIEND ZONE, my boy. The dreaded, painful FRIEND ZONE. Man's worst nightmare. But I have the medicine... Hear me out: I wish to know if I should stay loyal to her, which includes at least testing relationships with other girls, or not. Don't "stay loyal" to her, if by being "loyal" you mean follow her around like a blind puppy dog, hoping for something that probably ain't gonna come. Here is the cure to your Friend Zone worries: Move on. Look into other women, actually look for happiness where you can get it, not just where you WANT to get it. Ironically, this possibly can work in your favor, because it indirectly shows you are confident and that you have something to offer. Let me tell you a story: I used to pine over this one girl. She rejected me, and it really hurt. However, I eventually moved on and got into a relationship with another girl. 2 years later, while I was single again, my old crush and I were chilling in my room after seeing a movie together, and one thing led to another, and... heheheheh, well, yeah. I got'er in the end, by just going with the flow. Alright, I know this is good advice, but a few more things. I have smacked myself in the face to realize I am in the friend zone. But there is something I can... well... tell. I can tell that there is a possibility. I am loyal in the sense that I won't ever throw away my feelings for her, but I can still go out with other girls. She knows a WAY lot about me, and we have had our moments. I don't know, I guess that I have a lot to consider. Why do relationships have to be so damn complex... DX |
| Some will come, some will go Some will be wrong, some will be right Some cannot think, while others will know But I will always be your light |
| Relationships aren't complex, people make them complex... ;] |
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| Oh, definitely remain friends with her, Kuji. You don't even have to end your fondness for her (although understand it may fade away if you get into a new, better relationship!), but yeah, definitely DON'T wait for her. Like I said (and for example with my story), you never know what the future may hold... Hell, my last 2 girlfriends and a couple of fuckbuddies were originally women that Friend Zone'd me for 1-2 years before it happened XD Don't hold your breath, though. |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
| Now it's time for Dr. Love to discuss his own problems- cuz I don't know everything (as my own grandfather, who is a doctor, said once to me: "Even physicians get sick too!"). Here's my problem: Every person I have ever been in a relationship with- every single one- has cheated on me or left me for another person. Not just left me or broke things off with me; left me for another person. Not a single exception. Seriously, all 4 break-ups I have experienced in my young life has ended with "I'm sorry... but... I've found someone else" (except in 1 exception, where I only found out 2 weeks after the fact that she was boinkin' a good friend of mine). What the HELL is a man doing that would cause every woman and man he has ever loved to do this to him? I have some history of mental illness (bipolar disorder) that has caused some instability (and times where I frustrate and frighten my partner)... but what is it about me that instead of breaking up with me, each one has felt the need to cheat or leave me for another person (2 out of 4 times to a person who I was also close with)? What could I be doing to bring this on myself? |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
Andrei said: Now it's time for Dr. Love to discuss his own problems- cuz I don't know everything (as my own grandfather, who is a doctor, said once to me: "Even physicians get sick too!"). Here's my problem: Every person I have ever been in a relationship with- every single one- has cheated on me or left me for another person. Not just left me or broke things off with me; left me for another person. Not a single exception. Seriously, all 4 break-ups I have experienced in my young life has ended with "I'm sorry... but... I've found someone else" (except in 1 exception, where I only found out 2 weeks after the fact that she was boinkin' a good friend of mine). What the HELL is a man doing that would cause every woman and man he has ever loved to do this to him? I have some history of mental illness (bipolar disorder) that has caused some instability (and times where I frustrate and frighten my partner)... but what is it about me that instead of breaking up with me, each one has felt the need to cheat or leave me for another person (2 out of 4 times to a person who I was also close with)? What could I be doing to bring this on myself? Alright, you gave me good advice, so I shall try to do the same (I have been left for someone else before also). I don't personally think that it is YOUR fault because this happens to a lot of guys. Maybe if there is a common factor between all of your girlfriends, that could be affecting it. Honestly, bipolar disorder is nothing to blame yourself for since it is a medical condition, but girls do get irritated with us and our lives. Honestly, I think humans in general are very flawed and maybe your are looking for the wrong people, people that cheat and have that urge to be un-loyal. If you could get any background info on them and their cheating habits, then I would suggest it because: "Once a cheater, always a cheater." And this IS true. But something I should say is: There are a damn lot of people on this blue planet and not everybody will mistreat you like you have been mistreated. A lot of people are very loyal and won't hurt you like that. |
| Some will come, some will go Some will be wrong, some will be right Some cannot think, while others will know But I will always be your light |
| I think that when it comes on cheating both sides are at fault. ;] I think that sex is a biological and physical need, so when one of the partners is not satisfied he/she starts seeking a new partner. |
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Andrei said: Now it's time for Dr. Love to discuss his own problems- cuz I don't know everything (as my own grandfather, who is a doctor, said once to me: "Even physicians get sick too!"). Here's my problem: Every person I have ever been in a relationship with- every single one- has cheated on me or left me for another person. Not just left me or broke things off with me; left me for another person. Not a single exception. Seriously, all 4 break-ups I have experienced in my young life has ended with "I'm sorry... but... I've found someone else" (except in 1 exception, where I only found out 2 weeks after the fact that she was boinkin' a good friend of mine). What the HELL is a man doing that would cause every woman and man he has ever loved to do this to him? I have some history of mental illness (bipolar disorder) that has caused some instability (and times where I frustrate and frighten my partner)... but what is it about me that instead of breaking up with me, each one has felt the need to cheat or leave me for another person (2 out of 4 times to a person who I was also close with)? What could I be doing to bring this on myself? My turn :P Ok, I red this last night but when I wanted to reply I didn't have any idea. So I gave some thought to the reason why all of them found another one. Let me say from my point of view: I'm with a guy, he has the bipolar disorder, he frightens me sometimes, I can't face this relationship no more...how can I get out for sure? Find someone else. You see, finding someone else takes from you all the possibilities of winning back that person. If they would break up with you but remain single there would be a chance of you trying to get back with that person, but when it's a third person in the story, you -a respectable young man- don't try to win that person's heart anymore because they're already "in love" with someone else. You'll have to sincerely analise yourself too... look at yourself like you're looking at someone else and think about how are you in a relationship; are you ok with all you do/say... I know it's painful but have you ever asked your one of your ex why she break up with you? Their opinion might help you a lot, because it's from their point of view. About the cheating thing, I don't think it's because of you... more and more people nowadays have the tendency of cheating, for fun or for need doesn't matter, cheating is cheating.... But, in theory, one decides to cheat when the partner lacks something they think it's important...that something can be some crappy detail for you but it means a lot for them. Those were my ideas for the moment... I can't really say anything else 'cause I don't know you ^^ |
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have you ever asked your one of your ex why she break up with you? My exs' reasons for cheating/leaving: 1) "I've been in a relationship with you for 3 1/2 years, I need to experience other people" 2) "I have more in common with this guy than you and he goes to my school" 3) "You have waaaay too many issues, and you honestly psych yourself out with this 'bipolar' bullshit" ...Naturally, there were some things in each relationship that I could have done better- even a lot better. I'm human, I make mistakes. Also, I think that I should remember that my first ex was 17 when she broke up with me (after being with me for 3 years) and my other ex was 16 (NOTE: I was 18 at the time, Dr. Love does not condone pedophilia =P)- so they were both young and probably still confused... and my third ex refused to understand my problems (she would often yell at me and call me a "wuss" when I was in a depressive state)... Perhaps I'm just blowing this out of proportion because I was so hurt by my last relationship; I just hope when I get back to university in August that things will be smoother. |
AndreiJul 17, 2008 6:09 AM
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
| Ok then let this to be know right here she still tring to find out if I'm just a friend or a BF. She don't do nothing to help me out. I have to call her, I have plan all the dates this isn't going work men. No one trust me not in her family or mine how do you have something work if you do all you can, all I do is plan out everything like (Light) and then it kind of back fire. We haven't kiss or hold hands... all we had done was hang. Dude help me out some. |
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| I'm not sure I get all of what you're saying, but if you have to do all the work, then it's really not worth it. |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
| Note I think it is better to forget her stop calling her, stop the planning the dates and don't say anything to her ;] and if she doesn't call you or look for you then she was just using you to kill some time. |
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| I <3 this thread. :3 |
| Some will come, some will go Some will be wrong, some will be right Some cannot think, while others will know But I will always be your light |
| Snoop-dogg here knows what's up. |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
| I think the Friend Zone issue could be an entirely seperate topic haha, though this thread does make for a good read ;) |
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| Something similar to this may have been said but I care not. My situation is individual. I have finally (finally) found someone I am truly interested in. She is an amazing person...really. We have alot of common interest (which is a rare thing). The problem is she lives a few states away. Now, we do get to see each other but only once a year (over a period of about two and a half years now...) when I go to visit family. Now, I think I will be going to this particular city for college but that, again, is another entire year. That being said, we do get to talk over myspace so it's not like we've lost total contact. The thing is, we're not even in a relationship! I have neither the confidence nor skill to flirt adequately so I usually end up leaving her town feeling like a fool and a failure. I feel like if I were to give up that I'd be really truly missing out on something wonderful. She really does totally surround my thoughts now-a-days to the point where I find myself hanging to the edge of my seat waiting for her comments. So... Since I feel I have nothing to lose, I humbly ask this: What...do I do now? |
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| Make the first step! Tell her about your feelings... |
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| I don't think I have the confidence for that... |
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I have finally (finally) found someone I am truly interested in. She is an amazing person...really. We have alot of common interest (which is a rare thing). The problem is she lives a few states away. Now, we do get to see each other but only once a year (over a period of about two and a half years now...) when I go to visit family. Now, I think I will be going to this particular city for college but that, again, is another entire year. That being said, we do get to talk over myspace so it's not like we've lost total contact. Oh, honey, if only I had the answer to this question! There is a girl that I too, often see (1-2 times a year) who lives up in D.C. that I would love to be with... and I had a few GREAT chances last time I saw her a year ago, but at that time I didn't have these feelings for her. Listening to Letters to Cleo's "Co-Pilot" has me thinking her right now. Oh, cruel, CRUEL fate! Ah well, at least I get to talk to her on IM/phone. I have neither the confidence nor skill to flirt adequately so I usually end up leaving her town feeling like a fool and a failure. I feel like if I were to give up that I'd be really truly missing out on something wonderful. Why not? Remember my formula from the first page: Insecurity---->Lack of confidence to approach guys/girls---->Not taking action---->Further loneliness and frustration---->MORE INSECURITY. You just gotta BITE THE BULLET and start FLIRTING- but do not, I repeat, do NOT confess your feelings outright to her. It puts her on the spot, and I personally think that groveling for a person's love makes you either seem CREEPY or DESPERATE... and nobody wants that in a person. Try to find a way to see her soon, and take things slow, but for fuck's sake girl do SOMETHING, otherwise nothing will happen. |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
| Thanks for your help..man we broke up last night and like you said it wasn't wroth the time. |
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Andrei said: Why not? Remember my formula from the first page: Insecurity---->Lack of confidence to approach guys/girls---->Not taking action---->Further loneliness and frustration---->MORE INSECURITY. You just gotta BITE THE BULLET and start FLIRTING- but do not, I repeat, do NOT confess your feelings outright to her. It puts her on the spot, and I personally think that groveling for a person's love makes you either seem CREEPY or DESPERATE... and nobody wants that in a person. Try to find a way to see her soon, and take things slow, but for fuck's sake girl do SOMETHING, otherwise nothing will happen. I'm glad you said this actually. I've been encouraged by a few people to just go ahead and tell her how I feel but my instincts told me this wasn't the best course of action. I needed some reenforcement of those instincts I guess. Now that I think about it, every confession of attraction that I've ever heard really did come off creepy. Good point. I'm usually very clumsy and awkward when it comes to flirting, which some people may find endearing, regardless I'd like to be able to approach someone confidently and smoothly. So I guess my next question is how do I go about flirting? |
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| @Kikku: Would like to help. Unfortunately I dont have a clue either.... -___- My own question for the "enlighted one": My whole life I was thinking about my grades and career. How can you live in comfort with the girl of your dreams, if you dont have a solid base? Love seemed to be nothing more than an annoyance, distracting one from studying. A chemical reaction in the brain, which leads two people to stay together just long enough to have offspring so that humankind survives. So I avoided every nice girl I encountered at school and told myself that I had to wait until my studies are over. Unfortunately (but logically) this thinking directed me into a study field where girls are seldomly seen (electrical engineering). Thus I have only very few girls in my circle of friends. Now I have reached the goal of my career. I have a nice job and more than enough money to buy all the anime I am longing for..... but I have totally lost the wish for a partner in Life. I got way to used to my single existence. Somehow I am irritated by myself right now. How can I get back the desire to reach a new goal in Life? How can I rip off this "snugness" that creep over me? Thank you in advance.... PS:....No, I wont join in some kind of "Fight Club"! ^^ |
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| whats your opinion about jealousy for your partner in a relationship? |
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sn00p3r said: Relationships aren't complex, people make them complex... ;] Totally My Last Relationship Went Downhill Because Of Him Making It Complex He Wouldn't Let Me Talk To People Even Girls! That Were My Friends! |
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| @ djinn_690 Jelousy Is Not Healthy For A Relationship It Just Make You And Yoor Parter Unhappy |
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My own question for the "enlighted one": My whole life I was thinking about my grades and career. How can you live in comfort with the girl of your dreams, if you dont have a solid base? Love seemed to be nothing more than an annoyance, distracting one from studying. A chemical reaction in the brain, which leads two people to stay together just long enough to have offspring so that humankind survives. So I avoided every nice girl I encountered at school and told myself that I had to wait until my studies are over. Unfortunately (but logically) this thinking directed me into a study field where girls are seldomly seen (electrical engineering). Thus I have only very few girls in my circle of friends. Now I have reached the goal of my career. I have a nice job and more than enough money to buy all the anime I am longing for..... but I have totally lost the wish for a partner in Life. I got way to used to my single existence. Somehow I am irritated by myself right now. How can I get back the desire to reach a new goal in Life? How can I rip off this "snugness" that creep over me? Thank you in advance.... PS:....No, I wont join in some kind of "Fight Club"! ^^ If you're confident and determined enough to keep your studies and career on track, if you're secure in your intelligence, why you can find ways to find time to meet people, have a social life, and date around? C'mon. Don't burn yourself out. Get the stick outta your ass and just DO IT TO IT in all aspects of life- your school, your job, your social life, your love life. ....as for jealousy and possessiveness, they are the greatest killers of a relationship. Anytime it creeps into a relationship, you MUST nip it in the bud immediately so it never comes back. |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
Andrei said: If you're confident and determined enough to keep your studies and career on track, if you're secure in your intelligence, why you can find ways to find time to meet people, have a social life, and date around? C'mon. Don't burn yourself out. Get the stick outta your ass and just DO IT TO IT in all aspects of life- your school, your job, your social life, your love life. Thank you for your answer. Well, actually I HAVE a social life. I go out with my friends all the time. Party around. Travel around Germany, having fun. But I dont have too much contact with girls. Yeah I know: No self-confidence --> No try --> No feeling of success --> No self-confidence -->... But, I guess its a bit different for me. Somehow I fear a woman could steal my freedom and disrespect my hobbies. But maybe Im just thinking too much. Stupid brain.... Did I mention that my standard in case of woman is also very high? I tried to somehow lower it, but that seems to be impossible. You like what you like.... Any suggestions how to recognize the beauty of chubby german girls? o.O |
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| FTGT a woman can steal your freedom and disrespect your hobbies, BUT only if you allow it! If she loves you truly she won't have anything against your hobbies as long as you pay enough attention to her. Now for your high standards for women: There is no such thing like high standards for women!!! You like what you like and you should try to get what you like! btw I don't like fat girls either ;] |
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Somehow I fear a woman could steal my freedom and disrespect my hobbies. But maybe Im just thinking too much. Stupid brain.... You can be yourself and not compromise yourself without having to be selfish; otherwise you look just arrogant and belligerent. Did I mention that my standard in case of woman is also very high? I tried to somehow lower it, but that seems to be impossible. You like what you like.... That's fine too, but you also need to learn the virtue of flexibility. It's a game of GIVE AND TAKE. Any suggestions how to recognize the beauty of chubby german girls? o.O What's wrong with some thickness? I love some curves to my girls. I'm not talkin' FAT chicks, I'm talk THICK chicks... A nice, thick, curvy German girl? Sounds delicious. |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
how do I go about flirting? Confidence + Humor is my formula. Be a bit of a tease. Banter a lot. Use wit and playfulness to show you are secure in yourself and know how to have fun. Once you get the hang of it, you realize just how easy it is! |
| Reverend Andrei Mazenov 92% OF TEENS DON'T THINK RAP IS REAL MUSIC. IF YOU ARE PART OF THE 8% WHO AIN'T A PUNK-ASS FOOL, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE. |
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