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Newborn Star

Jan 3, 2012 6:08 PM

#1

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In the "Drafts" section of the FTP, I created a new folder for Newborn Star.

I uploaded the contents page so far. Feel free to comment on it. ^^

Also, I will use this post for (possible) grammar mistakes I might find. (No offense to Karen, they happen y'know. xD)

I came across this one, but actually, I don't know which is right. lol I'm not the best at grammar, but there's nothing wrong with double checking right. ^^

Page 010: "THE WATER AND AIR OVER THERE TASTES HORRIBLE," -->

"THE WATER AND AIR OVER THERE TASTE HORRIBLE," ?

Not sure which is the correct verb conjugation. /fail at English.

edit: OR should grammar issues be taken care of only via e-mail? E-mail would be more private than here, I think. >_>

CaveJan 3, 2012 6:12 PM

Jan 5, 2012 7:23 PM

#2

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Nov 2008

66

Uploading a "preview" version of chapter 1 of Newborn Star (I named it newborn child by accident... keep thinking that's the name for some reason lol ><) to the ftp.

edit- fixed filename

CaveJan 5, 2012 7:48 PM

Jan 6, 2012 5:08 AM

#3

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Jun 2011

48

I will try to grab a copy of what's up there throughout the weekend. It's MAGFest though and we'll be there all weekend. I'll let you know if I find anything ^_^;

Jan 6, 2012 7:12 AM

#4

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Nov 2008

66

KK, have fun at Magfest. ^^

Jan 7, 2012 3:00 PM

#5

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Nov 2008

66

Another possible grammar error:

Page 34:

"GRANDPA AND GRANDMA’S COMING HOME."

to

"GRANDPA AND GRANDMA ARE COMING HOME."

?

Page 39:

"TAIRA., IT’S OKAY." to "TAIRA, IT’S OKAY."

CaveJan 7, 2012 6:19 PM

Jan 9, 2012 3:05 PM

#6

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Nov 2008

66

Chapter 2 preview version is up.

Page 60:

"NO WORRIES. LET’S GO INTO ONE OF THESE SHOPES."

to

"NO WORRIES. LET’S GO INTO ONE OF THESE SHOPS."

Page 63:

"HERE’S YOUR SECOND." to "HERE’S YOUR SECONDS."

CaveJan 9, 2012 4:07 PM

Jan 10, 2012 5:09 AM

#7

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Jun 2011

48

All of the changes you listed sound and make sense.

Jan 10, 2012 1:07 PM

#8

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Nov 2008

66

:)

Here's another from page 79:

"THIS OWNER OF THE RAMAN STAND AND OHNO’S
CONVERSATION WAS OUT THERE."

I thought it sounded kinda awkward and ramen is spelt wrong.

edit: Preview for chapter 3 is being uploaded.

CaveJan 10, 2012 1:35 PM

Jan 11, 2012 5:30 PM

#9

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Nov 2008

66

Page 88:

"AND INSTEAD THE DETAILS JUST KEEPS BLURRING." --> "AND INSTEAD THE DETAILS JUST KEEP BLURRING."

Jan 12, 2012 4:18 PM

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Aug 2011

21

This thread is a good idea Cave! I'm not offended if you're finding grammar mistakes and you're right, they do happen :)

On page 010 it should be "The water and air over there tastes horrible."

You're right about page 34, it should be "Grandpa and Grandma are coming home."

All your other suggestions sounds fine. ^_^

Jan 12, 2012 7:00 PM

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Nov 2008

66

Thank you, Karen. :)

Jan 14, 2012 8:36 PM

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Nov 2008

66

Chapter 4 being uploaded to the ftp. ^^

Jan 15, 2012 6:49 PM

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Nov 2008

66

Page 123: "I HEARD THAT YOU’LL GOING TO BE THE HEIR, KYU." to "I HEARD THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE HEIR, KYU."

Oh yeah, I forgot chapter 4 is missing a page. The one that was missing a translation.

Page 127: "AT LEAST ACT LIKE SO YOU’RE NOT DATING EVEN IF YOU ARE." This line just sounds awkward. o.O

Page 130: "I NEED TO BE CAREFUL NOT TO LOOSE MY COOL IN FRONT OF HIM." to "I NEED TO BE CAREFUL NOT TO LOSE MY COOL IN FRONT OF HIM."

CaveJan 15, 2012 7:56 PM

Jan 16, 2012 7:19 PM

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Nov 2008

66

Chapter 5 preview being uploaded... and the page 99 that was missing earlier too. ^^

Jan 16, 2012 8:22 PM

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Aug 2011

21

Cave, I'm going to look into those errors for you. I may just send you the corrections through email.

Jan 17, 2012 8:41 PM

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Aug 2011

21

Page 127 - “At least act like you’re not dating even if you are seeing someone.”

Jan 17, 2012 8:43 PM

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Aug 2011

21

Cave, can you tell me what's the page number that is missing in chapter 4?

Jan 17, 2012 8:51 PM

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Nov 2008

66

Page 99 :)

Jan 18, 2012 6:49 PM

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Page 155: "HOW WEIRD THAT THEY BOHT BECOME INDEPENDENT ON THE SAME DAY." to "HOW WEIRD THAT THEY BOTH BECOME INDEPENDENT ON THE SAME DAY." :P

page 127 is fixed (not in the "preview" file though) and chapter 6 is being uploaded. 58 more pages to go...

CaveJan 18, 2012 7:07 PM

Jan 20, 2012 9:45 PM

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Aug 2011

21

Okay, I'll take a look. I'm also going to go through Newborn Star again and correct anythng I missed and I'll send you the new edit. I'll have it by Saturday or Sunday night.

Jan 21, 2012 5:42 PM

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Nov 2008

66

Chapter 7 preview uploading. ^^

Jan 22, 2012 5:42 PM

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Nov 2008

66

On page 193, Kyu says "I’LL PASS." to trying out the handle bars, but it shows him in the next panel doing them. Can we change this to something else? The Japanese says "ore wa muri da yo" which would be more like I'm not good at it/It's impossible for me/etc...

Jan 23, 2012 3:43 PM

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Nov 2008

66

Page 209: "I THOUGHT ABOUT WRITING A SHORT MANGA ABOUT SUMI HERE, BUT IT
GOTTEN TOO LONG SO I SCRAPPED IT."

to

"I THOUGHT ABOUT WRITING A SHORT MANGA ABOUT SUMI HERE, BUT IT
GOT TOO LONG SO I SCRAPPED IT."

Jan 23, 2012 7:34 PM

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Nov 2008

66

The last chapter preview is uploading!!!!!!!!!!

All that's left is final revisions. ^_^

Jan 23, 2012 9:23 PM

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Aug 2011

21

Did page 99 come up for you? I checked my copy and it's showing up.

On page 193 go ahead and change "I'll pass" to "I'm really no good at this."

Jan 23, 2012 9:34 PM

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Nov 2008

66

I got it and I will make that change. ^^

I'm actually going through the volume again and making some small changes on my side and seeing what other changes there might be.

I found another possible line change on page 21. It says "Toshi probably.... wouldn't have stopped kissing me even if I wasn't skinny." Should the "wouldn't" be "would"?

Jan 27, 2012 7:06 PM

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Nov 2008

66

Done fixing the corrections and Newborn Star is being uploaded to the final submission folder!! WOOOT!! お疲れ様でした！！！！ ^_^ And before the due date too, yay.

Jan 28, 2012 6:50 AM

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Jun 2011

48

grats ^_^; only one more volume to go!

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It’s time to ditch the text file.
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