| Post your poems here. |
| I hope that I am putting this in right, if not just say so. If its too long, you can just say so! The Beast Within From early on in life, soon after our first breath, Begins our pain and strife, which continues till our death. Throughout life we are challenged, By its pains, burdens, and sin. Our only hope throughout our journey, Is that we may someday win. But even as we fare well, we are relentlessly pursued, by a creature, a monster, a demon, that can never be subdued. It is seemingly relentless, It never seems to tire, It's patience never wanes, It's hatred an unquenchable fire. It waits until we're weakest, but even then it doesn't strike. It moves in slowly, As silent as the night. As it draws near, Approaching from behind, We feel its burning presence, And we turn about to find, that it never really existed, "was it all in my mind?" But even as we turn, it rears its ugly head, and begins its stalking anew, a presence that we dread. It's purpose is to haunt us, to hover in our wake, all in an attempt to satisfy, a thirst it cannot slake. So we continue along our chosen path, the creature avoiding sight, until, at last, it shows itself, and steps into the light. And as the truth is revealed, Many turn from the sight, They can't believe their eyes, This just can't be right. For before us lies a mirror, Thats stands as if to say, "Here I lie before you, can you confront yourself this day?" While most run away, and refuse to face their sin, A few are able to look on, and see the realization, For why the beast could never be seen, For the beast lies within. |
| That was really good Dante! I simply love how it flows, and the meaning behind it. Keep writing! ^_^ Oh, and it doesn't matter how long or how short a poem is. :) |
DanteStrife said: I hope that I am putting this in right, if not just say so. If its too long, you can just say so! The Beast Within From early on in life, soon after our first breath, Begins our pain and strife, which continues till our death. Throughout life we are challenged, By its pains, burdens, and sin. Our only hope throughout our journey, Is that we may someday win. But even as we fare well, we are relentlessly pursued, by a creature, a monster, a demon, that can never be subdued. It is seemingly relentless, It never seems to tire, It's patience never wanes, It's hatred an unquenchable fire. It waits until we're weakest, but even then it doesn't strike. It moves in slowly, As silent as the night. As it draws near, Approaching from behind, We feel its burning presence, And we turn about to find, that it never really existed, "was it all in my mind?" But even as we turn, it rears its ugly head, and begins its stalking anew, a presence that we dread. It's purpose is to haunt us, to hover in our wake, all in an attempt to satisfy, a thirst it cannot slake. So we continue along our chosen path, the creature avoiding sight, until, at last, it shows itself, and steps into the light. And as the truth is revealed, Many turn from the sight, They can't believe their eyes, This just can't be right. For before us lies a mirror, Thats stands as if to say, "Here I lie before you, can you confront yourself this day?" While most run away, and refuse to face their sin, A few are able to look on, and see the realization, For why the beast could never be seen, For the beast lies within. Thank you so much for posting this, it's lovely Dante ^^ I'd love to know how you felt when you were writing this <3 |
| Thanks for your comments, the first few days when no one commented I was kinda worried! I don't share anything I write very often, just a bit self conscious I guess... And to answer your question Orandakaiu, I was just feeling a bit philosophical is all. This peom is inspired and based on a short story I wrote so that is where the idea came from originally! Thank you once again for your comments, I suppose I'll post something of mine in the near future! I hope you see everyone else's works soon as well! |
| I know how that can be, of being conscious of your writing. I used to always hesitate showing poems. But I'm glad you did. :) Here's a poem I wrote quite a while back. My Sad Goodbye I couldn't even tell you the truth Even love without hope exists The wind blew away my goodbye I couldn't distant myself from you Your sad smile shook my calm So I swept away my sad past Looking in your eyes I could see That with you lies my future My hand against your cheek Was trembling with desperation Even though love can come to hurt I'll chase after our try of eternity You've become the sky in my dreams With this maybe hope can be reborn I'll protect you from your sorrow And wrap you in my arms of tomorrow We'll transform my teardrops into a new memory Holding on only to each other, so for now Don't let go of your feelings, never Sad or happy, it doesn't matter I'll always love those transparent eyes Even when you're not seeing me And when you give me that sad smile I'll become your shield from pain I couldn't even tell you the truth That even love without hope exists So I'll blow away my sad goodbye Forever, always by your side |
| After reading that all I can say was wow, the sheer emotion conveyed in that is incredible! That is one of the most deep poems I have read in a VERY long time. Thank you for sharing that, if any more of your work is even remotely like this then I would love to hear it! |
| I'm also conscious of sharing poems, I usually just write them down in my many notebooks, but what use is a poem if you don't share and express it with others? ^^ A silhouette is all I have left, Not a face or an eye, for they have been wept. I don't struggle to leave behind the pain, I've tried to leave many times, but all have been in vain. I can't bear to lay here alone, In this place, full of stone. This was meant to be better, i've left my life behind, If I only heard a word, that wasn't mean, but kind. Oh how words can leave such an impact, My soul and my body, would have been intact. But I cannot turn back, and be a person one more time I'd have rather been deaf, then my life would have been fine. _____________________________________________________ It isn't very good, but I decided to not post a major one just yet, as i've never posted up a poem before. Anyway, when I write a poem, I always seem to imagine a story in my mind, when i'm writing it. This is one, is about a girl, that has got bullied so much in her lifetime, and has tried to kill herself many times, but never succeeded. But one day she does, and as she's laying in her coffin, just her soul alive, she regrets killing herself, and wishes she had been deaf, so she couldn't hear the mean things that people said to her, that way she could have lived her life, and it would have been worth living for. Hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you enjoy this club ^^ |
OrandakaiuApr 18, 2011 12:50 PM
| I really like your poem Orandakaiu. Its very straightforward. It makes me think about what I say and how a communicate with people. It has a strong moral and flows very well. To be honest, the part that reaches the most out to me is the second stanza. "If I only heard a word, that wasn't mean, but kind." It goes to show that if I kind word had been uttered towards her, even if only every once in awhile, none of this would have happened. Also, sorry if I seem to ramble, but the one thing I find saddest about this is it almost seems like she lays the blame for all these bad things, all these terrible words, on herself. She said, "I'd rather been deaf" than accuse anyone of these things said. Almost like she has decided that the things they say are true, and that it would be better if I were somehow different then these things would be better. All in all, good job! I really hope to hear some of your other work! |
| Thank you so much, your comment means a lot ^^ In every creative thing I do, I always try and put a meaning towards it <3 |
DanteStrife said: After reading that all I can say was wow, the sheer emotion conveyed in that is incredible! That is one of the most deep poems I have read in a VERY long time. Thank you for sharing that, if any more of your work is even remotely like this then I would love to hear it! Thank you! I appreciate that! Ahaha, Dante said most of what I wanted to say about your poem Orandakaiu. I thought it was quite amazing. I have to say, even though it was straightforward, it felt as if it was also complicated. The emotions put into it are very deep, is what I mean. :) I'm hoping you won't be so conscious of sharing poems, because I would love to read more of your other ones. <3 |
| Its very seldom that I write about nature itself so I can only hope this turned out alright. I also wanted to test a 4 line rhyme scheme so that is why it is what it is. Hope that you find some enjoyment out of it. Trapped in the Woods I begin my walk many a night, lit only by gentle moonlight, My gaze always awonder with the sight, of beauty defined to my left and right. As I walk through the forest serene, Surrounded about with bough of green, I delve in to find sights rarely seen, Something that words could only demean. Instead there is something else I find, something that brings nostolgia to mind. A structure made entirely of vine, A structure that, to me, is one of a kind. Earlier on as I child, I used to be a bit wild, I climbed on top of a structure made of vine piled, It broke and I fell through after getting a little riled. I was trapped and soon began to scream, but to no avail, so I slept and began to dream. Lost I was in the deepest part of the forest scene, And at last I took note of the calm and the serene. I calmed myself and did no longer shout. It took me awhile but I pulled myself out. I retraced my steps and found my earlier route, And freed myself after this most difficult bout. From the the forest I did learn, If its for solace that I yearn, Then back to the forest I should turn, And to this solace can I return. |
| It takes an incredible amount of foresight and dedication to write a story so I wouldn't consider that a bad thing at all! But in comparison to stories, poems take so much longer (if your talking about time for word) to write... I had to rewrite each stanza at least 15 times and I spent at least several hours on the last stanza trying to decide where I wanted to go with it! If you can write stories then, with patience, you can write a poem (I'm actually much better at writing stories myself.) I'd like to read some of your stories if possible, is there a way I could perhaps. If its too much to ask then just say so. |
| I'll make a forum on the group to post your stories ^^. This is a bit of a short, random one that I made up in about five minutes, so it's not the best. The grass turns black, And the sky turns grey, I turn to the dragon, I'm about to slay. As I stare into it's eyes, My hearts begins to ache, And I can't bring myself, To grab that stake. I bring the dragon, To my lair, This dragon may look scary, But I have no fear. As it's heart is made of love, Like a widows past, This is our first love, And this is our last. ___________________________________________ The poem doesn't have to represent an actual dragon, but can mean a person. It means, even though the dragon looks scary, it's just like anybody else. But is is unique. |
| I was quite lost on the meaning at first, but now I understand it. For something random and made up on the spot, it was done really well. :) |
| I was sitting around with a group of friends, and they knew I like to write poetry so they decided to come up with a challenge for me. They told me that I should write a poem based on the first word that came to mind then every following word that I could think that rhymed with it until I had a stanza. Then they would give me a new word and I would have to use the first word that came to mind again. The hardest part was making it coherent and to make it make sense. I hope you like it, it took me about 6.5 minutes to write it so please don't judge it too harshly, it really is just me trying to make sense of random words that are strung together. There is no title sadly. The monster grows inside each day, I don't know how much longer I can keep it at bay. Soon it will force me to join the fray, For now I will force it down without delay. The more I fight the higher I rise, the higher I rise the farther I'll fall. This cycle could lead to my untimely demise, Or perhaps it is an angels call. I will never know until the end, never know till I round the final bend. But sitting here wondering comes to no avail, its on the here and now that I should dwell. Focus, focus on the task at hand, the current trevail is where I will make a stand. About what I've done there should be no misgiving, I should just make this life one worth living. So even though the monster may grow, I have a hidden strength deep below. I know someday the world shall know, I fought my demons to become a hero. |
CamelliaHeart said: I was quite lost on the meaning at first, but now I understand it. For something random and made up on the spot, it was done really well. :) Thank you ^^ DanteStrife said: I was sitting around with a group of friends, and they knew I like to write poetry so they decided to come up with a challenge for me. They told me that I should write a poem based on the first word that came to mind then every following word that I could think that rhymed with it until I had a stanza. Then they would give me a new word and I would have to use the first word that came to mind again. The hardest part was making it coherent and to make it make sense. I hope you like it, it took me about 6.5 minutes to write it so please don't judge it too harshly, it really is just me trying to make sense of random words that are strung together. There is no title sadly. The monster grows inside each day, I don't know how much longer I can keep it at bay. Soon it will force me to join the fray, For now I will force it down without delay. The more I fight the higher I rise, the higher I rise the farther I'll fall. This cycle could lead to my untimely demise, Or perhaps it is an angels call. I will never know until the end, never know till I round the final bend. But sitting here wondering comes to no avail, its on the here and now that I should dwell. Focus, focus on the task at hand, the current trevail is where I will make a stand. About what I've done there should be no misgiving, I should just make this life one worth living. So even though the monster may grow, I have a hidden strength deep below. I know someday the world shall know, I fought my demons to become a hero. That's very good for something you did in 6 minutes =3. You have good friends, to give you these challenges ^^ |
| When the wonder of the moon is upon us, And the light is shining down, The only thing you can do, Is to look up and frown. “Why is it so bright?” Like a thousand tiny stars” “Because they’re people’s wishes, Only loved if they are far”. “So put my hand in yours, And we’ll go towards the wishes, And we’ll fly into the sky, Like a stream full of fishes.” “We’ll smile so happily, And it’ll be just you and me, Not a crowd of people, Not 5 or 4 or 3.” “And as we’re flying, Through the dark night sky, We’ll be entwined forever, And our love shall never die.” |
| Beautiful and sweet Oran. Reminds me of a poem I wrote long time ago, but it was a sad ending I thinking lol. |
CamelliaHeart said: Beautiful and sweet Oran. Reminds me of a poem I wrote long time ago, but it was a sad ending I thinking lol. Thank you ^^ ________________________________________________________ This was wrote a while ago while I was extremely upset and confused about my life. Fell, like unwanted litter going down in the dark blue sea, I don't know what to feel or even do, and something's stopping me, From saying what I really want to say, like my mouth's lost for words, My minds in a dream world, creating things that are absurd. I try to make myself feel better, by quietly singing a song, But I can't stop the feeling, that apparently i'm doing something wrong, To close my eyes and leave this place, only for an hour, Saves me from sitting here, with the feeling that I have to cower. My eyes are being the strongest, trying not to leak, But if they accidently do, I feel like i'm growing weak, Just want to lock myself up, but I just don't want to be alone, But it seems like all I do is cry a lot and moan. Maybe it's time to return to my dreams, and make a few wishes while i'm there, And hope that they do some good, and prove to people that I actually care, And the clouds are turning dark, blending in with the night, But in my dreams the sky is blue, I want my life to be in light. |
| They're both really good ^^ |
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