This is about loneliness

Soroush_07 said:
Shocked by how accurately this story portrays loneliness. Never seen sth like it before. I am so numb that even my tears don't fall anymore. I'm not writing this to talk about the movie but about myself, so u may wanna stop reading and leave. You ask wth I'm writing about myself in a public platform? Well because it may be my last post ever and I don't really have anyone to say these words to. Or mybe I just need some attention. I don't even know anymore.
I'm 25, never built a strong friendship bond since middle school, never kissed or been on a date with a girl. My self-confidence was crushed by outer and inner happenings. Was I bullied? Yeah a bit, even from my own friends and nothing hurts more when it is from someone you used to call your friend. But I was kind of a bully myself because I didn't want to stay quiet, I used to start fights and all. So as u can see I understand Ishida on a different level. When he puts his hands on his ears in order to shut down voices and to be less hurt I could not do anything but smile. Slowly and gradually I gave up on trying to attract people and decided to leave society. it's funny cause in tennage years I was of the most popular kids in school. This shift from society made me lonely and now I've got no friends. I didn't like it so I wanted to reestablish my connection with society but it didn't work. Like everything Ishida does results in more devastation. I've tried everything self-improvement, working-out, setting strong goals, finding the courage to attend meetings with strangers, but looks like it just doesn't work anymore. Like I've been left behind. You know...it hurts when you try and retry...and retry again for a couple of years but you lose each and every time, so in the end your only choice becomes to satisfy the need to love and to be loved in your dreams and fantasies. Sometimes I thought wouldn't it be easier if I wasn't alive? But dear stranger...I didn't wanna die. I know life's got beautiful moments too. I've seen them with my own eyes. So my heart was beating hard when I saw Shouko' suicidal attempt. She wanted to live but the effect she was creating in others' lives convinced her to do so. Well in the end why did I write all this? If you're reading and somehow are experiencing the same devastation and loneliness, I just wanna say you're not alone. I hate motivational words to boost up your soul artificially. You're suffering and you have a good reason to. I get it, it hurts and no one really understands your pain. But anyway If you wanna talk I'm all ears. Tnx

Soroush_07 said:
Shocked by how accurately this story portrays loneliness. Never seen sth like it before. I am so numb that even my tears don't fall anymore. I'm not writing this to talk about the movie but about myself, so u may wanna stop reading and leave. You ask wth I'm writing about myself in a public platform? Well because it may be my last post ever and I don't really have anyone to say these words to. Or mybe I just need some attention. I don't even know anymore.
I'm 25, never built a strong friendship bond since middle school, never kissed or been on a date with a girl. My self-confidence was crushed by outer and inner happenings. Was I bullied? Yeah a bit, even from my own friends and nothing hurts more when it is from someone you used to call your friend. But I was kind of a bully myself because I didn't want to stay quiet, I used to start fights and all. So as u can see I understand Ishida on a different level. When he puts his hands on his ears in order to shut down voices and to be less hurt I could not do anything but smile. Slowly and gradually I gave up on trying to attract people and decided to leave society. it's funny cause in tennage years I was of the most popular kids in school. This shift from society made me lonely and now I've got no friends. I didn't like it so I wanted to reestablish my connection with society but it didn't work. Like everything Ishida does results in more devastation. I've tried everything self-improvement, working-out, setting strong goals, finding the courage to attend meetings with strangers, but looks like it just doesn't work anymore. Like I've been left behind. You know...it hurts when you try and retry...and retry again for a couple of years but you lose each and every time, so in the end your only choice becomes to satisfy the need to love and to be loved in your dreams and fantasies. Sometimes I thought wouldn't it be easier if I wasn't alive? But dear stranger...I didn't wanna die. I know life's got beautiful moments too. I've seen them with my own eyes. So my heart was beating hard when I saw Shouko' suicidal attempt. She wanted to live but the effect she was creating in others' lives convinced her to do so. Well in the end why did I write all this? If you're reading and somehow are experiencing the same devastation and loneliness, I just wanna say you're not alone. I hate motivational words to boost up your soul artificially. You're suffering and you have a good reason to. I get it, it hurts and no one really understands your pain. But anyway If you wanna talk I'm all ears. Tnx

Soroush_07 said:
Shocked by how accurately this story portrays loneliness. Never seen sth like it before. I am so numb that even my tears don't fall anymore. I'm not writing this to talk about the movie but about myself, so u may wanna stop reading and leave. You ask wth I'm writing about myself in a public platform? Well because it may be my last post ever and I don't really have anyone to say these words to. Or mybe I just need some attention. I don't even know anymore.
I'm 25, never built a strong friendship bond since middle school, never kissed or been on a date with a girl. My self-confidence was crushed by outer and inner happenings. Was I bullied? Yeah a bit, even from my own friends and nothing hurts more when it is from someone you used to call your friend. But I was kind of a bully myself because I didn't want to stay quiet, I used to start fights and all. So as u can see I understand Ishida on a different level. When he puts his hands on his ears in order to shut down voices and to be less hurt I could not do anything but smile. Slowly and gradually I gave up on trying to attract people and decided to leave society. it's funny cause in tennage years I was of the most popular kids in school. This shift from society made me lonely and now I've got no friends. I didn't like it so I wanted to reestablish my connection with society but it didn't work. Like everything Ishida does results in more devastation. I've tried everything self-improvement, working-out, setting strong goals, finding the courage to attend meetings with strangers, but looks like it just doesn't work anymore. Like I've been left behind. You know...it hurts when you try and retry...and retry again for a couple of years but you lose each and every time, so in the end your only choice becomes to satisfy the need to love and to be loved in your dreams and fantasies. Sometimes I thought wouldn't it be easier if I wasn't alive? But dear stranger...I didn't wanna die. I know life's got beautiful moments too. I've seen them with my own eyes. So my heart was beating hard when I saw Shouko' suicidal attempt. She wanted to live but the effect she was creating in others' lives convinced her to do so. Well in the end why did I write all this? If you're reading and somehow are experiencing the same devastation and loneliness, I just wanna say you're not alone. I hate motivational words to boost up your soul artificially. You're suffering and you have a good reason to. I get it, it hurts and no one really understands your pain. But anyway If you wanna talk I'm all ears. Tnx

Soroush_07 said:
Shocked by how accurately this story portrays loneliness. Never seen sth like it before. I am so numb that even my tears don't fall anymore. I'm not writing this to talk about the movie but about myself, so u may wanna stop reading and leave. You ask wth I'm writing about myself in a public platform? Well because it may be my last post ever and I don't really have anyone to say these words to. Or mybe I just need some attention. I don't even know anymore.
I'm 25, never built a strong friendship bond since middle school, never kissed or been on a date with a girl. My self-confidence was crushed by outer and inner happenings. Was I bullied? Yeah a bit, even from my own friends and nothing hurts more when it is from someone you used to call your friend. But I was kind of a bully myself because I didn't want to stay quiet, I used to start fights and all. So as u can see I understand Ishida on a different level. When he puts his hands on his ears in order to shut down voices and to be less hurt I could not do anything but smile. Slowly and gradually I gave up on trying to attract people and decided to leave society. it's funny cause in tennage years I was of the most popular kids in school. This shift from society made me lonely and now I've got no friends. I didn't like it so I wanted to reestablish my connection with society but it didn't work. Like everything Ishida does results in more devastation. I've tried everything self-improvement, working-out, setting strong goals, finding the courage to attend meetings with strangers, but looks like it just doesn't work anymore. Like I've been left behind. You know...it hurts when you try and retry...and retry again for a couple of years but you lose each and every time, so in the end your only choice becomes to satisfy the need to love and to be loved in your dreams and fantasies. Sometimes I thought wouldn't it be easier if I wasn't alive? But dear stranger...I didn't wanna die. I know life's got beautiful moments too. I've seen them with my own eyes. So my heart was beating hard when I saw Shouko' suicidal attempt. She wanted to live but the effect she was creating in others' lives convinced her to do so. Well in the end why did I write all this? If you're reading and somehow are experiencing the same devastation and loneliness, I just wanna say you're not alone. I hate motivational words to boost up your soul artificially. You're suffering and you have a good reason to. I get it, it hurts and no one really understands your pain. But anyway If you wanna talk I'm all ears. Tnx

Soroush_07 said:
I'm 25, never built a strong friendship bond since middle school, never kissed or been on a date with a girl. My self-confidence was crushed by outer and inner happenings.