Hi I'm new but...

Jul 5, 2017 3:41 AM

Offline

Jan 2016

Hey guys i've been having these mixed feelings for a while now and just felt the need to reach out to the lgbt community here on mal since i don't know any lgbt person in real life sadly :(
Ok..so all my life i have identified as straight...but for about two years now i've started to feel attracted to girls but not in a romantic or sexual kind of way ( i just simply found them more physically attractive). Fast forward a few months and i started having sexual fantasies about girls as well as guys. I also noticed that whenever we would change clothes in the PE class i would stare at the girls for no apparent reason. I thought it was just a phase as I read something a while back that said people from the lgbt community start questioning their sexuality and know they are attracted to a certain sex since childhood-early adolescence. But in my case i started questioning mine when i was 19.
At the moment I am very worried as I think that I might have a crush on one of my friends (yep she's female). I get jealous whenever she spends time with other girls and I always try to get her attention. She has always been a huge support for me (giving me advice and comforting me when i was sad). But a while back we had a fight. I was the one that started it. I made a joke about her liking a girl and she got mad at me. I think that I might have unconsciously done that because i secretly liked her?? Maybe??
Also, whenever she says things like 'i miss you' and 'you're dear to me' I always get so anxious or nervous (not sure). Whenever she compliments me I just feel really weird.
We haven't talked for a while and i can't stop thinking about her.
Could i have romantic feelings for her?
I still like guys but just..not as much as before.
Could i be lesbian/bi/ or is it really just a phase???

Jul 25, 2017 12:16 PM

kaalings

Offline

Mar 2012

i was about 17 when i first had a crush on a boy, i remember thinking at first "if he was a girl i'd fall in love with him...or her" :P
but then slowly i started having a crush on him. i also thought for the longest time it was just a phase, but then i had more crushes on boys and slowly started becoming comfortable calling myself bi. I'm more into girls, but i'm still attracted to some boys. in my case, i think i just hadn't found my type before that first boy maybe or something.
that's my two cents anyway... :)

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