Do we have a responsibility to our friends?

Dec 28, 2014 11:04 AM

Offline

Apr 2011

291

This topic is a bit of a "getting my feet wet" introduction back into the forums. I took a rather long hiatus due to academic overload.

Yesterday, while I was listening to my good friend ramble about sports and girls (two things that I do enjoy by the way),I was hit with the thought that to this friend, these two subjects are the most that he thinks of life. While I do enjoy these two things, I have a much broader scope of reality, and my mind has alot more subjects that it daily thinks about. My good friend does not. Every time we speak, it is about these subjects. I, usually, go along with it and have a conversation but I quickly get bored of this.

While he was going off, my mind wanders off, and I pondered, " Am I doing this good friend of mine a disservice by not in a sense enlightening him?"

What I mean by that isn't that I know everything about reality and that I should preach to him my stance on life, no, I am not that arrogant. What I was wondering is whether or not I have a responsibility to tell him that there are much more substantive things. Sports is easily one of the least substantive things to think about, it is trivial. Girl are alot more substantive, but there is a limit.

For once, I wanted to talk to him about capitalism, and the effects of commercialization. I want to at least go over quantum mechanics, and what it means to the anthropology of human nature. Or even go lower, and talk about how we can help our own community by doing x and y.

These are the topics that make my usual pocker face (when I talk with him) be intrigued. And I think him thinking about these subjects would be beneficial to his maturity and growth.

But again, this may be seen as arrogance..
It is me saying that I'm some kind of rescuer, and I am going into the cave to help the tied up friend who's pondering upon the shadows on the wall. (reference to the allegory of the cave).
Am I right in taking such position?

Is it my duty to do so? Or should I just keep my mouth shut and pretend that I am the same to this friend, that I also view sports and girls to be the entirety of reality.

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.
-Albert Camus

Dec 29, 2014 10:16 AM

Measure

Offline

Jul 2011

871

I doubt your friend centers his view of life around what he discusses with you. People compartmentalize all the time, so with you he's used to discussing girls and sports. There is no reason why you can't incorporate new topics into the discussion, and if you're creative enough you can do it in the context of girls and sports. Though what you want to discuss seems less discussion and more you 'educating him', so I would pick more suitable topics.

Dec 30, 2014 5:21 AM

Cottonrabbit

Offline

Oct 2008

663

Have you actually tried discussing new topics with him? He simply might not have realised that you have broader interests. Try making a few references to something in the news and see where it leads. It is probably more likely though that you are simply moving in different directions in life. This is fairly normal with most friendships. You should make new friends that share your interests; this doesn't mean that you can't be friends with this guy but just the friendship probably won't be as close anymore.

I sometimes struggle with the feelings of superiority and frustration of talking to people who have limited topics. The female version is babies, alcohol and diets. It is not your place to educate them though. Remember there are many different types of intelligence and perhaps girls and sports are the only topics of interest to him that he considers you capable of holding your own in an in-depth discussion. You will become a douche if you start trying to "broaden his horizons" and a super douche if you add "for his own good" on to that sentence.

CottonrabbitDec 30, 2014 6:41 AM

Jan 9, 2015 8:46 AM

Tongue

Offline

Mar 2012

3658

In all honesty, it would probably do your good friend some good if he wizened up on subjects more relevant to the world around him, but at the same time I know that people also have a hard time caring or comprehending topics like that.

Not to be a creeper or anything, but I'm going to assume he's the same age as you and that puts you guys at around 21. Sports and girls are acceptable to talk about, but if that's really the entirety of the conversation he has with you, that's kind of sad. He's 21. He should be able to talk about other more mature topics. Do you know what else he's interested in?

Has he gone to college? What has he studied? I feel like you're probably a lot more perceptive than him and if you can kind of rake out the things that your friends might know more about other than girls or sports, you can start transitioning into those topics and asking about his thoughts on the matter. Or even if you know that you know more about a certain topic than him, play the dummy and just ask him questions that would make him appear smart. Have a debate! Surely there must be something he's passionate about to argue over.

Don't think of yourself as being arrogant or being superior over him in knowledge. I certainly know what it feels like to always meet up with a friend and only discuss about the trivial things in life. It can honestly be boring. But if you truly value this friend and would like to continue being his friend, I think it's a good idea to start getting into loftier topics. Maybe don't jump the gun and get into quantum mechanics at the get go. Talk more about things that are better understandable. Like maybe stuff on religion, current politics. Things that have happened across the world. Even talking about deeper meanings of books or movies could get you somewhere. Global warming even.

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Do we have a responsibility to our friends?

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